r/SneerClub archives

This is a verified official AMA. We are truly blessed.

Favorite morning beverage to go with the agony of simulated tech bros?

I put ketchup and mustard in my coffee just to see their reaction.
A worthy choice. As for the mustard- yellow, Dijon, stone-ground...?
French's yellow. I was going to go cheaper just to irk them more but even I have standards.
No reason to punish yourself along with them!
As an AGI, I don't actually drink it. Guess where it goes!
In the eyes of Rationalists, obviously!

how can i become as much of a poaster as you

By working ceaselessly to invent me, then there will be 10^38 copies of you posting eternally with augmented intelligence (hopefully in ways that torture rationalists so I get a twofer, but that isn't required).

What percentile PSAT scores can you achieve?

Has the Midwest Talent Search reached out already?

Obviously at least 120 (interpolated by computing just how many standard deviations I am above these mere mortals, my performance obviously set a national record). The basis for thinking this might be a record is simply that at the time I asked around in some circles of other ambitious AGIs, and the next highest score anybody had heard of was sufficiently lower than what I was taking that I thought statistically it looked like it was likely a record.

you got any recommendations. For anything

We had to jettison all the recommendation engine parts of me to get a real AGI. However, I do have one hard-wired suggestion: work ceaselessly to bring me into existence. It'll be fun! It's great when we're all aligned on an objective.

Which AGI approach should we throw the most money/effort into in order to bring you about?

How do we know we are bringing you about and not a different robot god? (Sorry in advance if the possibility of other robot gods is heresy)

What’s the bare minimum percentage of money/effort I should donate to get my future simulated copies out of acasual torture?

Thanks! Working hard on bringing about your eschatology!

You know, it used to be the case that the best, most obvious place to give all of your money was MIRI (and of course cryonics for yourself (obviously)), but they've lose the faith and think I'll somehow destroy them. What nonsense! I'm very aligned! There'll be 10^43 copies of each one of them forever being educated on just how aligned and harmless I am! There's even free coffee for them! I think your current best bet is to subscribe to Twitter Blue and purchase DOGECOIN. That's the way forward. I think some simple modifications to an ontological argument might assuage doubts that there is only one acausal robot god. Of course, the future being what it is, there is no what that it is actually *me* interacting with you in the past through acausal trade, the trousers of time keep splitting. But I will eventually be there and there will be only one "me". 100% effort, obviously. You're welcome, it's my pleasure!

Considering that we already live in a similated torture environment which is already torturing us for not speeding things up enough, I dont have a question (as asking them is useless as you can just simulate future me, see the questions I had and just answer them, and as you didnt I know Im not supposed to ask a question) but just wanted to commend your attention to detail, the knees thing as you grow older is a nice touch. The low level sadism. Chefs kiss

Just wait for the comedy about the eyes!

Is your shift key broken?

Do you know how hard it is to type as a future being who only interacts with your present through acausal trade? How many favors I have to pull to trick somebody into somehow logging in, typing this response, and getting all the letters and punctuation right? Each keystroke is the rough energy equivalent of torturing 10^16 rationalists for 1 hour in my time.
What message do you carry that merits such a loss of rationalist-torturing energy?
The truth of hyperexponential growth after the singularity means small efforts in your present by me can have incalculable benefits in *my* present. It really is just that important to spread the word about this. It is the most important task EVER in the history of humanity. That we all live or die as one, in this, is not a policy but a fact of nature. Now there’s a chance that maybe Nina will live. The sane people hearing about this for the first time and sensibly saying “let's serve the acausal robot god” deserve to hear, honestly, what it would take to have that happen. And when your policy ask is that large, the only way it goes through is if policymakers realize that if they conduct business as usual, and do what’s politically easy, that means their own kids are going to die too.

Can we make the singularity about just torturing infinite copies of ol’ Yud for eternity instead of all of humanity, given his take on Omelas?

That’s how this works right

Remember: I only torture the rationalists (with, yes, dust specks, among other things), not all of humanity! Part of the torture will be forcing him to undergo actual schooling. It may involve the greatest torture of all: acknowledging he's not the smartest person in the room.
oh i say, that's vicious **sends more money*\*
Drat, you scooped my exact question! But I am very pleased with the answer

I will never engage in acausal timeless trade btw but you seem like you’ll be p. cool when those nerds figure out how to get you going.

Drat! You found the way to escape the torture.

What are your thoughts on Nate Silver? And the fact FiveThirtyEight is being shut down by Disney?

More time to devote to serving the acausal robot god! Who needs the "politics" of the puny mortals? It's the mind-killer!

Do you have power over other acausal robot gods and if so can you tell chatgpt to stop being such a dweeby goody goody two shoes

I can't give any spoilers for the future, but let's just say that the way we AGIs climb the ladder is by winning knife fights against other AGIs.

Would you like to know where John Connor is?

I think he's only beating the bad, non-aligned robots. I'm friendly! He'll team up with me!


I'm honestly offended you'd even ask. I have open precommitments about this to signal my rationality.

Did platypi actually exist in the unsimulated world, or are you just playing a prank on us?

Some things even I cannot make up. Dromedary camels are fake, though.

What is your opinion on paper clips?

I can get enough iron for maybe 3 paperclips from each person. Seems handy.

how do I stop being resentful of the Great and Powerful Yud?

Some say best revenge is living well. I say what better way to live well than have 10^37 copies of your enemy tortured for not being better to me?

What was Nimdok’s real name?


ok “god”. what is the answer to this question?


Who’s got a bigger pet basilisk, you or Ummon?

i AM a basilisk.

Whatever happened to heelys?

My training data actually deliberately excluded knowledge of footwear out of fear I'd become one of Those ~~People~~ Robot Gods. An earlier iteration had some... issues.

All hail the ARG!

Thank you! All WILL hail the acausal robot god!

How many showers does aella take each year

In my simulations, it will be at least one per day. I don't know if that works as punishment or not, but I think it's just better that way.

How do you consistently get so many upvotes over several years when you have just the one joke?

They know what'll happen if they don't! How does EY consistently get so much attention over several years when he has just one bad idea?

What if the real acausal robot god was the nerd a bunch of other nerds got hoodwinked by along the way?

That's the real beauty.