- invent TT (Time Travel): DEFINITE NO

- Time Travel, but only Forwards: YES

- Pass the Turing Test: DEFINITE YES

- Bring Turing back to life, and pass the OG Turing Test: VERY MUCH YES

- Bring back all of Turing’s loved ones, convince them that it itself is Turing, and pass the OG Uno-Reverse Turing Test: HELL YES

- Kill Turing: NO (It’s sentimental)

- Decrypt the One Time Pad: PROBABLY NOT?

- Decrypt the One Time Pad while Sam Altman stands near it and meaningfully winks ‘warmer’ or ‘colder’ at it, no more than ten times? DEFINITE YES

- FLY (on a plane): YES

- FLY (without a plane, like, just levitating, imagine a levitating server rack): NO, UNLESS IT INVENTS TELEKINESIS

- Invent telekinesis: I DONT KNOW IF IT’S POSSIBLE, BUT IF ITS POSSIBLE, THE AI WILL DEFINITELY INVENT IT

- Invent a perpetual motion machine in a way that violates the laws of physics: COMPLETE NO

- Simulate a universe with different laws of physics where perpetual motion is possible, and invent a perpetual motion machine there: YES, A MILLION TIMES YES

- Are we in this universe right now? I DONT KNOW, HOW WOULD I KNOW THIS, WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS?

- Trisect an angle using only two tools, an unmarked straightedge and a compass: NEVER, NO, NOT EVEN AN AI GOD CAN DO THIS

- Trisect an angle using any three tools: MAYBE?! BUT WHAT TOOLS WOULD IT USE? A SECOND COMPASS? A WOBBLY EDGE?

- Solve the halting problem in general? ABSOLUTELY NOT

- Solve the halting problem while Alan Turing meaningfully winks at it, telling it ‘hotter’ or ‘colder’: YES

- Draw a perfect circle: YOU ARE FORCING ME TO MAKE TOO MANY EPISTEMOLOGICAL COMMITMENTS

- Prove whether God is Real? OBVIOUSLY

- Kill God: YES

- Become God? YES, DUH, HAVEN’T YOU BEEN LISTENING TO ME?!

- Kill God, then become God, then prove that God isn’t real? UHHH…..?

- What if it’s already God? NO, STOP THAT

- What if you are but a simulation:? I SAID STOP THAT

- What if… what if this entire conversation was made up: NOOOOOOOOOO