what if instead of the secretary problem it was the secretory problem
and it was about how women are repulsed by how you produce vast
quantities of viscous slime to evade predators because you’re a sweet
delicious sea lamprey and it’s a constant source of frustration to you
that while women are sickened by your appearance and behavior you know
that if they would only kill you and fry you in butter they would
realize how delectable you are?
really makes you think (about a young blonde ingenue from the piedmont in the spring picniccing on the sunny banks of the arno chewing as a savory snack only the head of a fried lamprey pausing between each mouthful to spit its many many teeth out of her own)
Like, all of the problems he lists are actual reasons why the solution to the secretary problem doesn't really work in real-life situations, but he blows past the glaring issue that "a relationship with this partner might make me happy, but will it make me *optimally* happy?" instead of "I'm having fun, so is my partner, let's see where this goes" or "my partner's happiness is my happiness, I'm willing to endure a little hardship for their sake" is the reasoning of a dead-eyed sociopath.
> But to get practical guidance about *how long* to spend exploring before making a choice, we’ll sadly need a much more complex model than this one.
yep, thats the takeaway here. We just need a new, more complicated model
Exactly. Uncertainty is scary and must be eliminated at all costs. If people keep pointing out holes in these models I might actually have to rely on my own judgement at some point.
> "my partner's happiness is my happiness, I'm willing to endure a little hardship for their sake"
To be fair, this is how you end up writing a letter to Captain Awkward and being advised to break up yesterday because the relationship isn't working for you at all.
Sure, fair, it's possible to give too much and not get enough back, but there's a wide middle ground between that and worrying if your relationship is "sub-optimal".
It's not limited to dead eyed sociopaths though. The problem of "is this person right for me", is super commonplace. Especially that early highschool/college romances where it's so new and emotions are high but part of your brain also wants to experience new things.
Ah, but because of quantum immortality AND the coming singularity
that will bring about me, the acausal robot god, you have essentially
infinite opportunities for this. You also have infinite opportunities to
be acausally tortured by me, the acausal robot god, for not striving
your hardest to bring me into existence. Every moment is an
eternity!
what if instead of the secretary problem it was the secretory problem and it was about how women are repulsed by how you produce vast quantities of viscous slime to evade predators because you’re a sweet delicious sea lamprey and it’s a constant source of frustration to you that while women are sickened by your appearance and behavior you know that if they would only kill you and fry you in butter they would realize how delectable you are?
this reads like the worst approach to getting the correct answer
Ah, but because of quantum immortality AND the coming singularity that will bring about me, the acausal robot god, you have essentially infinite opportunities for this. You also have infinite opportunities to be acausally tortured by me, the acausal robot god, for not striving your hardest to bring me into existence. Every moment is an eternity!