• Karl@programming.dev
      3·
      6 个月前

      I don’t mean to offend you, but do you still feel non-sexual attraction towards a particular or both genders?

      • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
        23·
        6 个月前

        There’s a spectrum of Ace. I got one am a heteroromantic ace, and I’m a dude. So I am attracted to women romantically, but don’t want to sleep with them.

        It’s a very frustrating combination that makes dating difficult.

      • Chloé 🥕@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        8·
        6 个月前

        personally, it’s kinda hard to say? i have felt romantic attraction exactly once in my life, so i know i’m not fully aromantic, but also it’s only happened once so i’m probably on the aro spectrum somewhere

        but yes, there are many people who are asexual but who still feel romantic attraction to others

        (and of course, not all attraction is sexual or romantic, there is also aesthetic attraction for example (literally just when you find people pretty), which i do feel, my meme was pretty reductive all things considered, but then again it’s just a meme)

        • PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          3·
          6 个月前

          So I know with a rather high degree of certainty I’m ace, but I continue to have trouble untangling aromanticism from my aversion to people and mild paranoia.

      • Novaling@lemmy.zipEnglish
        6·
        6 个月前

        Not OP, but typically asexual is perceived as not having any sexual attraction/having minimal sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of gender. It’s like the opposite of pansexual (attraction to anyone regardless of gender).

        Everything is a spectrum of course, which is why people talk about the graysexual area, where you have some attraction but there’s extra things that make it not the “typical” experience of allosexuals (those who experience sexual attraction). Things like Demisexual (attraction only after having a close bond), Aegosexual (having sexual arousal and fantasies, but you don’t think of yourself in those fantasies), etc. These are all microlables to help people narrow down how they feel.

        So if you have a distinct and noticeable sexual attraction to one gender, you probably are allosexual (straight, lesbian, gay, etc.). Note, however, that romantic ≠ sexual, and you can be asexual but only date men, or be asexual and date both men and women.

  • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk
    41·
    6 个月前

    I think I just have a woman fetish. I’ve had “oh damn” moments with various body parts on different women over the years. Feet, hands, decolletage, ears, eyebrows… all sorts.

  • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
    33·
    6 个月前

    I became interested in why foot fetishes occur recently.

    Basically, it’s the same reason why breasts are considered sexual (they aren’t); it’s all about novelty. If we lived in a nudist colony, neither feet, nor breasts would be considered sexy.

    Feet get covered by shoes, making them more novel.

    Tribal cultures dont regarded breasts, or feet, as sexy.

    Though it begs the question: if nudity became normalized, then what would be novel?

    People would find personalities, voices, power dynamics, and fantasies more or less erotic than they are now (for most people).

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.worldEnglish
      46·
      6 个月前

      why breasts are considered sexual (they aren’t)

      Breasts and feet are both sensitive and responsive to touch. If you’ve ever Netflix-and-Chilled, a foot rub is a classic opening move. Meanwhile, teasing someone’s nipple is very normal foreplay.

      • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
        13·
        6 个月前

        You’re not picking up what I’m laying down.

        I’m not arguing that feet and breasts aren’t capable of providing sexual stimulation from a first person perspective. I’m saying that from a third person perspective, theres nothing about them which inherently arousing; that arousal stems from novelty.

        • lowleekun@ani.social
          22·
          6 个月前

          Just like mouth, ears and all kind of body parts are capable of providing sexual stimulation without being considered arousing in the sense we still view breasts/ass and such.

          • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
            2·
            6 个月前

            Precisely. It’s amazing how people have misinterpreted what I’ve been saying lol.

            • lowleekun@ani.social
              3·
              6 个月前

              People get emotional around this topic pretty fast. Don’t take the downvotes personally, i found your statements perfectly rational.

        • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.worldEnglish
          6·
          6 个月前

          I’m saying that from a third person perspective, theres nothing about them which inherently arousing

          There seems to be ample evidence to the contrary. Whole pornographic industries exist to cater to people aroused by pictures of people in various states of undress.

          • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
            1·
            6 个月前

            You’re still not getting it. The key word here is ‘inherently’.

            The sexual interest in people of different states of undress, or specific attire, is just another form of novelty, and influenced by culture.

              • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
                2·
                6 个月前

                You’re asking the wrong question. The point isn’t to name something “inherently sexy”, the point is that nothing is.

                “Sexy” isn’t an objective property of an object or body part; it’s a subjective response rooted in psychology, biology, and culture. Trying to find something “inherently sexy” is like trying to find something inherently funny or inherently sad. it only makes sense in relation to the observer’s mind.

                Feet, breasts, lingerie, whatever… they’re all loaded with associative meaning, shaped by exposure, taboo, and novelty. The fact that entire industries exist around them doesn’t prove inherent arousal; it proves market demand for culturally conditioned preferences.

                If breasts were inherently sexy, then every culture in history would have treated them as such, and that’s just not the case. Look at tribes where breasts are no more sexual than elbows.

                Fetish, attraction, arousal… it’s all downstream of context. Nothing’s inherently sexy. That’s the whole damn point.

                • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.worldEnglish
                  2·
                  6 个月前

                  Feet, breasts, lingerie, whatever… they’re all loaded with associative meaning, shaped by exposure, taboo, and novelty.

                  One of these things is not like the other.

                  If breasts were inherently sexy, then every culture in history would have treated them as such

                  Naked bodies are inherently sexy and every culture in history has treated them as such. The details vary by the presenter, with different individuals and venues paying special attention to this or that attribute. But you’re arguing against the “inherentness” of human attraction to other humans.

                  That’s not a discussion of artistic (or, I guess, pornographic) merit. It’s merely an expression of an asexual subjective view.

                  And that’s why you’re stumbling. You don’t seem to want to acknowledge other human bodies as sexy. You’re blinded by your own personal biases and projecting it onto others.

                  Nothing’s inherently sexy

                  Humans are inherently sexy. That’s why they have sex with each other.

      • taulover@sopuli.xyz
        15·
        6 个月前

        …that’s not what secondary sex characteristic means. As the article you linked says, that just means physical characteristics unrelated to the reproductive system that differ between the sexes. Some of the other examples given include the Adam’s apple in men and longer arms relative to height in women. While some of these things can be sexually attractive or related to sexual attractiveness in some way, certainly we don’t societally put them in the same sexual category as women’s breasts.

        • cattywampas@lemm.eeEnglish
          14·
          6 个月前

          Breasts are larger than they need to be, and they’re that size all the time. One hypothesis is that they’re used to signal sexual maturity and attract mates.

          But aside from that, breasts and nipples are definitely a bigger erogenous zone than most parts of the body, probably second only to genitals. And they’re directly involved in reproduction as you need them to feed babies.

          And most importantly, most societies view them as sexual even if some don’t. So what makes something sexual anyway? That’s a subjective thing, it works by consensus.

              • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
                1·
                6 个月前

                It’s not even that unusual. But I was talking about actual people, not most people.

                Just pointing out for the young people in the audience – some people will get nothing out of nipple play, but sadly put on a show anyway. Best to check.

      • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
        7·
        6 个月前

        Yes, but I’m talking about arousal. The distinction between the adjective and verb of ‘sex’ is important lol.

    • rbamgnxl5@lemm.ee
      20·
      6 个月前

      This doesn’t work.

      If it were only about novelty, then why aren’t there more bellybutton fetishes?

      Being a fetish-having person, I can tell you there there is more than just an attraction to the object of your desire. It is a primal, deep, uncontrollable NEED to see or touch the object.

      I am not a foot fetishist, so I do not presume to know the intimate details of what they like, but I can promise you, it has nothing to do with novelty. Fetishes have so many variants also; there are foot fetishes, sock fetishes, feet squishing stuff, toenail paint things, some want a footjob, some want to lick them or suck on toes, some people like big feet, small feet, the list goes on and on.

      Maybe read just a tiny bit? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fetishism#Cause

      • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
        1·
        6 个月前

        You’re conflating intensity with origin. Sure, the fetish feels like a deep, primal need now; but that doesn’t mean it started that way. Addiction feels like a need, too, but no one thinks the first cigarette was “primal.”

        Novelty doesn’t mean “casual curiosity.” It refers to the way our brains fixate on patterns of scarcity, secrecy, or taboo. Especially during formative sexual experiences. Feet are usually hidden and rarely touched; in most cultures, they’re also considered dirty or improper to eroticize. That makes them novel stimuli, and novelty is rocket fuel for sexual imprinting.

        The reason there aren’t more bellybutton fetishes? Simple: they’re not as hidden or taboo. You’ll see a bellybutton in every second Instagram post, and no one’s getting banned for it. Feet? Covered, ignored, often stigmatized, and that makes them psychologically ripe for fetishization.

        Also, you mention the diversity of foot-related fetishes like it disproves the point, but it confirms it. The foot becomes a canvas for a range of niche fixations, because it’s already been elevated to erotic status by the novelty of its cultural invisibility. From there, everything else: socks, polish, squishing and domination branches off.

        TL;DR: Just because your fetish feels deep doesn’t mean it wasn’t shaped by shallow cultural patterns. Read a bit deeper.

    • Xanthrax@lemmy.world
      9·
      6 个月前

      NSFW:

      When I fuck people their feet are in my face. I always thought what I was looking at was sexy when fucking, but I agree. Forbidden fruit and all that.

      • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
        4·
        6 个月前

        Even the researchers behind the study say, “I want to stress this finding is not final.” That should tell you something.

        The sample size is small and limited to a single cultural group. Meanwhile, we’ve got plenty of anthropological evidence showing that in many societies where breasts are regularly exposed, they’re not treated as sexually arousing. So no, this study doesn’t magically override decades of cross-cultural data.

        That said, the idea that breasts signal health or fertility? Sure, obviously. Just like wide hips, clear skin, or symmetrical faces. But biological relevance doesn’t automatically make something a fetish object. We don’t jerk off to white blood cell counts.

        And yeah, obesity isn’t typically seen as attractive because it signals potential health risks (dont cross post this on tumblr).

        The study is interesting, but it doesn’t prove breasts are inherently sexual. It just adds a datapoint to a complex picture where biology and culture play roles.

        • Lena@gregtech.euEnglish
          8·
          6 个月前

          Meanwhile, we have numerous examples of cultures where tits hang loose on the daily, and aren’t seen as inherently arousing.

          Source? Not to say you’re lying, I’d just like to read more about it

          • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
            1·
            6 个月前

            The Aka and Ngandu (Central African Republic)

            The Himba (Namibia)

            The Trobriand Islanders (Papua New Guinea)

            The Nuba (Sudan)

        • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
          2·
          6 个月前

          It’s why obese people aren’t considered attractive

          If you look up the definition of what is considered “obese” for your height, I think you’d find this is largely false.

    • Carmakazi@lemmy.world
      6·
      6 个月前

      Nudists are weird people and I wouldn’t accept what they have to say about sexuality at face value.

      • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
        11·
        6 个月前

        Nudists think people who wear clothes and dont question whether their shame is vindicated are weird. I’m inclined to agree with them lol.

        • lowleekun@ani.social
          5·
          6 个月前

          Honestly visiting an onsen was somewhat of an eye opener. I felt pretty comfortable with my body when all these normal dudes were naked and nobody cared about each others bodys.

        • Carmakazi@lemmy.world
          2·
          6 个月前

          I’m not surprised since your OP is boilerplate nudist justification and not really any exploration of paraphilia.

          I think there’s a mile in between puritanical shame and thinking the body isn’t and shouldn’t be considered sexual and is fit for public consumption. Why is it important to desexualize the human body? What’s the benefit?

          • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
            3·
            6 个月前

            Gives people the choice whether they want to be sexualized or no. Like you shouldn’t have to wear a giant form-disguising hoodie just to keep from being ogled.

            • Carmakazi@lemmy.world
              2·
              6 个月前

              I suppose I could see that. I’m assuming you’re a woman or female-presenting cause that’s not something I can fully empathize with as a dude. But you do have the choice of dressing how you want to be perceived, no? I’m sure there are other options beyond wearing a trash bag of a top.

          • Vespair@lemm.eeEnglish
            1·
            6 个月前

            My guy we are literally the only creature on the entire planet with a sense of shame who covers our body. If you don’t think there’s benefit to at least understanding why this enormous difference exists, I can’t even begin to fathom what your mind is like

            • Carmakazi@lemmy.world
              1·
              6 个月前

              There’s a hell of a lot that separates us from other animals. Throw your smartphone in the trash and go frolic in the woods for the rest of your life if you are so convinced that thousands of years of human socialization is a mistake.

              I don’t like being called a deviant…because I like that wearing clothes is the norm? Maybe in return I’d posit that you’re actually a bunch of perverts who enjoy casual sexual encounters, and all this talk about normalization is bullshit?

              • Vespair@lemm.eeEnglish
                1·
                6 个月前

                Show me where I said we should reject all human progress and revert to animals.

                No, I simply said we should evaluate the social choices made by humanity, even ones as old as clothing. I’m not saying we should reject it all; I’m saying we should be thoughtful and investigate these things to find out if they hold true or not.

                Personally, I think in the case of nudity and shame, we’ll quickly find it doesn’t really hold much water beyond empty religious mumbo-jumbo.

                And who exactly is calling you a deviant for liking clothing? Was it not you who came in with the statement, “Nudists are weird people and I wouldn’t accept what they have to say about sexuality at face value,” and now you’re trying to act like you’re just responding to some sort of victimization from nudists of all people after throwing the first punch? Come on, dude.

                But I’m sure it all does just come down to religious mumbo-jumbo bullshit for you because you said “perverts who enjoy casual sexual encounters,” as if a healthy casual sexual encounter is somehow a “perversion.”

                So, like… grow up and get better opinions, maybe?

                • Carmakazi@lemmy.world
                  2·
                  6 个月前

                  I said “weird.” Furries are weird, those people who plaster their cars with bumper stickers are weird. That doesn’t mean that they’re bad or we have to do something about them. “Deviant” probably wasn’t the right word because what you insinuated with

                  I can’t even begin to fathom what your mind is like

                  Is much worse.

                  Hence, I said that last bit to make you mad, not because I actually believed that. Why should I just take your bullshit on the nose and move on?

                  There is nothing wrong with casual sex. There is something wrong with liking casual sex and simultaneously berating people for being horny or casting unwanted gazes.

          • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
            1·
            6 个月前

            I never implied the body shouldn’t be considered sexual, I was just explaining why certain body parts are.

      • Zozano@aussie.zoneEnglish
        4·
        6 个月前

        In many tribal societies, the erotic focus isn’t on specific body parts like breasts or feet; it’s on signs of fertility, health, and social status. things like wide hips, smooth skin, body paint, scarification, or even dance.

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
      2·
      6 个月前

      Though it begs the question: if nudity became normalized, then what would be novel?

      Not an sexologist or even a sexy anthropologist, but my intuition is that aesthetic attraction would always be a factor (since it doesn’t rely on sexual attraction), and that acting in a sexually provocative would be the way to provoke the horny gaze.

      It might be nice to have less sexualization of people just be virtue of their existing in a sexualized body. That’s the dream, anyway.

  • 58008@lemmy.worldEnglish
    32·
    6 个月前

    Kids. Thank god I’m not attracted to kids. Or animals. Anything else is fair game. Feet attached to a consenting adult are fine. Don’t see the big deal. I like to spit-shine the rusty sheriff’s badge, so why the fuck would I care if someone likes a boring regular appendage like a foot? 🤷‍

    Unless there’s some angle to this non-foot people don’t understand? Like, maybe being turned on by feet is comorbid with an uncontrollable need to blast rope over any uncovered foot you see? Now that would suck.

    • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      16·
      6 个月前

      It seems pretty great. There are a lot of cute people out in public with their feet visible, and if you stare at their feet, they’ll just think you’re shy.

    • HalfSalesman@lemm.eeEnglish
      4·
      6 个月前

      I oscillate between wishing I was attracted to basically everyone with every possible kink (outside of the unethical options) and no attraction at all.

        • HalfSalesman@lemm.eeEnglish
          2·
          6 个月前

          I’m bi (specifically polysexual, but that gets confusing because its less well known and I’m also polyamorous) and my attraction to specific genitals is roughly equal to body morphology and a cute face’s importance, but I’m simply way less less picky about them.

          I wish I was just as non-picky about the body morphology and cute faces. My romantic life would probably have been way more fulfilling at this point if that had been the case.

    • MeatPilot@lemmy.worldEnglish
      6·
      6 个月前

      “I’m subscribed to your mom’s OnlyFans
      I spent five bucks a month to get pictures of her flappy giblets”

  • Monstrosity@lemm.eeEnglish
    22·
    6 个月前

    When I was born, god gave me a choice.

    I said, “I’ll take the Autism, please.”

    • Ananääs@sopuli.xyz
      13·
      6 个月前

      I couldn’t decide between 'tism and ADHD, god got frustrated of me and gave a bit of both. I wish I had known foot fetish was a choice (didn’t read through the list, obviously).