Sounds like a great way to fake your death. The only problem is that everyone will think you died driving a Tesla.
It… also costs
100kEdit: sorry, sorry, 70k — much better
I mean if you’re faking your death I don’t think you’re planning on paying off the loan
Yeah, I guess that’s true
Make sure you take appropriate steps to insulate your spouse or family from the debt, depending on your local laws.
Or dispose of evidence.
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you’re right. no one would believe that
He says the trucks are “apocalypse-proof” and claims they can withstand bullets and have “armor glass” windows.
They also withstand emergency responders and the occupant’s attempts to escape.
Chances of you experiencing the apocalypse - Zero
Chances you will get trapped in an Cybercuck and be unable to get out - Not zero
Elon is building both the “apocalypse-proof” (they are not) truck and the apocalypse (he really is)
When they say “apocalypse-proof”, what they actually mean is that the pedestrians outside are protected from the localised internal apocalypse occurring within the vehicle.
And the apocalypse will have working charging stations.
Will a tesla even start if the internet is down?
Jokes aside. You can build you own solar charging station for a few grand.
Not a lot of people can build their own oil extraction and refinement system in their backyard.
On the flip side, might be a good time for everyone to learn about wood gasifiers.
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I can’t fathom having my husband burn to death so badly that he’s just … evaporated. But then again I can’t imagine my husband ever wanting a cybercuck so there’s also that.
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I can’t imagine
I can’t
I
My wife and I are in need of a truck since we moved to a rural area and need one for stuff like trash disposal and whatnot. We’ve decided to get something practical like a hundai santafe or honda ridgeline
Comment of the week right here Username makes it even better
Do either of those evaporate your bones?
Sadly, no
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Fires that entrap passengers are a well-documented and recurring problem with every model in Tesla’s lineup of vehicles, but Cybertrucks appear to have a disproportionate number of known deaths. Safety experts have told the Guardian that the truck’s unique design amplifies the deadly issue. The vehicles come with high-density laminated windows that are harder to break than regular car windows, making escape and rescue difficult when doors won’t unlock. And the trucks are built with materials not commonly used in the industry, like stainless steel, which can complicate the work of emergency responders. The Cybertruck is also the first Tesla model to entirely eliminate door handles on the outside of the vehicle.
First, “unique” design? It’s an ugly callback to the wedge-shaped cars of the 80s. It looks like a DeLorean model that refused to render properly, and the dev just went with it.
Second, the decision to exclude door handles is fucking mental. It’s a mundane feature that cars have had since the Model T. If they wanted to make a pickup, its handles should resemble those found on a typical pickup. If it’s “aesthetics” they’re after (which shouldn’t matter when it comes to a pickup), some of the best looking cars have had no problem including door handles into its design.
The reason to eliminate door handles that Tesla and others typically give is aerodynamic efficiency. Granted there are other bigger aerodynamic problems. gestures at the rest of the fucking truck
aerodynamic efficiency
For internal door handles?
Everything about a Tesla interior is cost-savings masquerading as innovation. Actually most of these touch screen focused modern cars. It’s cheaper to produce than tactile buttons.
I was thinking of the external ones which aren’t default exposed
That was always Musk bullshit. Flush mechanical handles were a thing in the 70s.
These are speed holes
Optimized for flatulence.
The improvement removing the handles is there, but negligible. Especially considering the safety implications. Didn’t China ban flush door handles for safety reasons?
Didn’t China ban flush door handles for safety reasons?
Yeah, but that literally just happened last month and doesn’t take effect until January 2027. It’s not like they did that years ago because they saw it coming.
Aerodynamics was obviously not a concern in the process of designing a vehicle that has (checks notes) literal corners.
It looks like a DeLorean model that refused to render properly
Lmao
looks like a DeLorean
It is a “Deplorean”
Fires that entrap passengers are a well-documented and recurring problem with every model in Tesla’s lineup of vehicles
How is this a perfectly valid statement about the worlds richest man’s car company without us beating him to death with hammers/ seeing how many of those baseball sized steel balls he can handle?
“Unique” here refers to the fact that every other car is built pretty much the same way in as much first responders are concerned, and that makes them predictable and fairly easy to get out of while cybertrucks are strong enough and door-handleless enough to be incredibly dangerous(while also not being strong enough to do most of what they promise).
Free cremation — it’s a service!
You could almost say it’s like being put into an oven.
I mean you can just say that if you really want
Feature, not a bug.
CaaS
It will be monetised soon enough
Popup on the screen:
Your Tesla is on fire, escape is no longer possible as your subscription to “Escape Hatch” has expired. In order to enable “FlameOn ™ mode” for rapid immolation, please approve the one time payment of $4,206.90
ouch oof my bones
You have 30 seconds to escape your car
You have 10 seconds
Your car has been incinerated
Your car has burned your bones to ash
You have 30 minutes to collect your ash
The Ford Pinto wishes it was this deadly…
I daily a Fiero and don’t think even at its worst point people burned inside trapped without handles.
I kinda love the Fiero tbh
Oh same, but they are not well built and the iron duke is shit. I have to have 3 of them to keep one on the road working. at least they are good on gas. One day I might do an EV conversion.
I wonder if the 2.2l from an S10 could be swapped in? Like an LS swap but more pathetic.
Likely but depends on the era. I wanted to do a TDI swap but it’s like building a fiero onto a jetta more then an engine swap.
I think your fiero is from the post-Nader era in u.s. car manufacturing.
designed during, built after yes.
That’s what futuristic hidden door handles get you. Nice and crispy.
Not all of them act the same way. We have the hidden handles on our 26 Equinox EV but it still pivots open if you press on the opposite side of pulling to act as a normal handle.
“Burned into a charcoal because noone around knew how to sodomize door handle into cooperation.” Would fit well on the tombstone
That’s a similar method to the Tesla Model 3 and Y.
The S and X had motorized handles that retracted.
The Cybertruck has no physical handles on the outside. It has a button on the B pillar that activates an electric release to pop the door open.
All of those methods are flush, but only one isn’t visible to rescuers and can completely fail with a lack of power or motor failure with no physical external backup option.
Cremation is a new feature. It’ll be an extra $2500 and comes with a decision engine on whether you should live or die (door unlocking). Tesla knows, trust Elon.
its also a 100k coffin with a built in charcuterie machine, that can slice VENISON in half.
self-cleaning/pyrolytic oven on wheels
creep cremator
Disposable too
cybertruck is a built in crematorium and Coffin at the same time,elon makes nazi impressed.
When we finally start eating the rich, we will have readily available fires to cook them over.
Wasnt there a maga dude that blew up his cybertruck in front of a hotel?
So much has happened last few years…
These horrific deaths and injuries are tragic. I see too many schadenfreude comments here approving of people dying just because they chose to drive a vehicle most people don’t like. If there is blame, it is not on the victims, but on Tesla and the regulators we trust to ensure minimum and obvious safety features.
Anybody that bought a cyber truck did so knowing full well Elon is a Nazi. They made their bed and now they can lie in it. No compassion at all for these selfish fucks.
Anybody that bought a cyber truck did so knowing full well Elon is a Nazi.
The cybertruck was available to buy before he went full mask off. And not everyone is “in-touch” with everything.
No compassion at all
Disgusting.
Felon Muskrat went full mask off way back in 2016 when he called child rescuers a Pedo. Go pound sand.
Felon Muskrat went full mask off way back in 2016 when he called child rescuers a Pedo.
That wasn’t “mask off”, that was him being publicly petulant. That was him not knowing how to react to someone telling him “no”. It was the start of the cracks in his pubic veneer. Most rational people would say his reaction to that situation was ridiculous and childish, but I would bet there’s a good amount of people who still aren’t aware of what he said about the rescuers.
His “mask off” moment was during the 2024 USA elections when he went full Nazi (openly).
Granted, there were always indications for people who knew what to pay attention to, but that’s not most people.
Actually I just think it was projection for Epstein Island BS.
informed consumer making rational decisions fallacy we have all been there. still, it hits different to mock them when they’re still alive to reflect on their choices
Perhaps if we were just talking Teslas in general, but the cybertruck? I can’t imagine any non-assholes buying and driving those. That thing is a statement, a fascist “own-the-libs” statement in particular.
anyone that bought a cybertruck did so knowing full well that it’s a giant “fuck everybody but me” vehicle
I have no sympathy for them. their victims, yes. the owner, not at all.
anyone that bought a cybertruck did so knowing full well that it’s a giant “fuck everybody but me” vehicle
That’s how many people see it, but I know a few people that are entirely disconnected from “celeb culture” and the news in general, and just think the cybertruck is neat technology. And to be fair, putting aside the massive safety issues with it, it does have noteworthy technology that on their own are interesting.
And I think the cross section of people who are interested in the cybertruck, people who are not particularly intelligent, and who also have money are generally going to be the customer base. It’s fine to criticize, but to say “no sympathy” when they die is gross.
sorry I should have added the alternative option of “is ignorant of the fact and should be expected to be able to figure that out”
if somebody won’t think of how their actions affect others, fuck them.
I disapprove the Schadenfreude comments, but this is not merely a “vehicle most people don’t like”. It is a dangerous vehicle unnecessarily threatening health and even live of other members of the community, especially of children. There is a reason why it is not street legal in the EU.
I agree the EU regulators made the right call, and this vehicle should not be on the public streets anywhere until it can meet basic safety standards, both for the drivers and for the public.
Cant wait til they start taking volunteers for the Mars rocket
Mars project cancelled, now aiming for
moonNebraska.
The cybertruck actually burns so hot it destroys your soul. No afterlife for you!
Yeah, that happens at purchase.
