I’m in a rehab hospital for alcoholism. Im the smartest patient here! Also it just opened and I’m the first patient here. First and best. You won’t see them print that in the papers tho. Terrible people.

No one has ever completed the program here. I’ll be the first to ever do that. First in the world. They don’t hand out medals for that, maybe they should I don’t know. But they don’t so. If they offered me one I’d take it but they don’t do that here. So what are you going to do. But I would take it I think, yeah. I definitely earned it. But maybe we should look into that

Now ask yourself did I ramble because I’m struggling with withdrawals and not thinking clearly, or was I imitating trump?

That’s exactly the problem. It’s hard to tell. It should be easy to tell which. If you don’t know which… that’s kinda bad right?

I had a Chevy s-10 back from those days that could pull those large trucks out the mud. It also had a single “bitch seat” in the back (not a comment on women at all. Just If you’re in that seat… you’re the little bitch of the group)

I don’t hate people who have trucks. You need it for work… and even large trucks maybe you need it out on the farm and it’s not your fault they keep getting bigger. You still need a truck for work and that’s just the way they come now.

If I see a CLEAN truck that large I’m pissed. That’s a vanity truck. A vanity truck that’s fucking with my sidewalk room.

No women has ever orgasmed in that family.

There is no safe amount of alcohol.

For example: you just decided the cons of hitting your head with a rock outweighs the pros.

There is no safe amount of hitting yourself in the face with a rock.

You could argue “what about the red wine studies!” Those benefits are debatable at best with a single glass of red wine.

Either way it’s irrelevant because if I meant wine I would’ve said wine.

More importantly I don’t see a lot of wine commercial. The current level of wine advertising is fine with me.

Again jokes doesn’t need to be in quotes. Buy a dictionary. Jokes don’t have to personally funny to you to be a joke by definition. A crappy joke is still a joke.

So Id your plan is for me not to say anything you personally don’t like… my answers no.

Feel free to repeat you don’t like it until you are blue in the face, just buy a dictionary so you know what words mean.

There is also a block function . no one Is holding you here. You are choosing to not like my joke and I’m choosing to not care About your opinion. I’m not ashamed of my joke at all. I apologize if you felt offended by that’s the end of my giving a fuck about this matter.

Unfortunately for you I can write a novel Faster than you could name chapter so I have no problem responding to you forever. But you should probably know you won’t ever win.

All jokes are dark. Laughing and crying serve the same function. Knock knock?

Who’s there?

To To who?

It’s to whom actually.

Onoxk Not Jokes Are Based on the pain of appearing foolish im public.

For ten years no one’s ever shown me A joke that isn’t pain.

Closest anyone ever got was “puns Don’t involve pain” how do we as a society react to puns? With anger like Just hearing it hurt us.

Every joke ever told is about pain. places “prove me wrong” In front of my tent

If something was intend as a joke it meets the qualifications for “a joke”. If one person laughs it’s not categorized as unfunny. Someone found it funny.

It’s unfunny to you. That’s it. You are too self absorbed to see that your don’t control what is and isn’t comedy based on your feelings. Buy a dictionary.

That’s where you are completely wrong

“Joke” doesn’t need to be in quotes. It’s not an opinion or grey area. If something is told as a joke it is a joke.

Your opinion of the joke doesn’t stop it from being a joke. Buy a dictionary .

“No humor at all “ it was sarcastic ghoulish humor by definition. It’s a specific classification

Dark humor doesn’t need to be in quotes all humor is dark humor. That’s what humor is.

You clearly have opinions if I want to hear them I’ll ask for them. Until then just be about your way.

Yeah ice killed a couple people and we are dealing with that.

The tanks are on their way to kill 2600 unarmed people.

Well they kinda have to or one of those murder vans shows up. A lot of doctors regularly get 100 percent of the vote. That must mean they were beloved dictators?

Lincoln only had one. So trump must be doing something right.

I was waiting so long for someone to say that. I had a joke prepared for it but I forgot now.

Thank i like when people notice the subtle jokes.

I thought of putting Pluto in there too.

And Texas is bigger than Jupiter lol as it should be lol.

I want to add I also get negative comments when I do say “I’m American” to preface something.

It’s really lose/lose but I don’t blame them. America has been pissing a lot of people off lately. Including Americans. Even the trumpets are looking at him like “wtf are you doing”

The various native tribes here have had to band together because we keep deporting NATIVE AMERICANS!

Oh interesting side note when my American friends travel they say they are Canadian because they are embarrassed.

I have a feeling Australia feels the same about fosters beer now too.

Damn They manage to weasel around the law anyway.

There’s also a way to delete your comments and block people you don’t like. If you want me to walk you thru the steps let me know.

Insecurities about our education? It’s a well known fact our education is pretty crappy compared to other stable countries. It’s known we don’t learn shit about other countries. We are behind countries I can’t spell in literacy and 17th in education.

It’s like saying “I’m sorry you’re insecure about your broken leg? “ “im not insecure my leg is broken it just hurts and we should probably be doing something about it”

If I don’t mention I’m talking about America I get people mad at me, if I do mention I’m from America I get people mad at me.

So I guess just be mad and I’ll keep telling jokes.

Btw you do not want to wink at Florida. You won’t like the red neck that winks back lol

Comedy is how I cope with things. That and drinking. They don’t always combine well.

All jokes are dark. There is no joke that doesn’t Involve pain. Jokes are the way we address Hard realities in a safe way.

I’m not saying I don’t believe you. But is saying if cigarettes wanted to stop advertising they didn’t need approval.

So op advertising.

I appreciate you being friendly with it. I just wasn’t thinking about savages.

Z”that’s a joke by the way.

Our education is American centric. “We arrived to this empty land and these hundreds of tribes had a stick up for here butt so we generously held lad on thier behalf in a trust they have no control over. There were treaties.‘don’t look them up but it wasntotallynlegit broh

Theres actually a joke here “we learn geography based on what war we’re in”

If I moved to your country you probably list me as mentally disabled “the usSr can’t hurt you it been gone-

“WE NEED THIRTY NUCLEAR LAND MINES!”

I appreciate you taking it easy on me

What the hell is the US. I know every county in Texas. Got a cousin and pig in each one. Never heard of none of that “us” business.

I went to the shiny-est college in the planet (which is Texas) and I saw a black man there! He was delivering groceries but almost looked him in the eye. I’m a progressytives!”

Edit: just to be clear I wasn’t naming two animals at my farm. Each farm has a pig who is my cousin. Just wanted to make that very clear. I have cousin pigs

2nd edit: and sometime I lie with them as bride and groom.

It’s legal in Texas as long as a gun is involved