YoiksAndAway

I saw a meme a few weeks ago by a woman who was convinced that her cats cried for her to make the sun come out or to make it stop raining, not understanding that her powers are limited to light switches and the shower. I assume dogs are the same.

I 'member. How about that time he used Dijon mustard and the time he put his feet up on the Resolute Desk?

“How can we let the reader know that the elephant in the room has autism?”

“Well, how about if we have it wear a button that says, 'I have autism”, you know, like people with autism do?"

“Brilliant! And how do we let the reader know that the autism is from vaccinations?”

“Easy! We just show a bunch of hypodermic syringes sticking out of it, like all of those vaccine-loving cuck doctors just stabbed it and left them there.”

“Did they bother to depress the syringe and inject the vaccine?”

“Nope!”

“Brilliant!”

Damn. That’s more impressive than the snakes that hang from the cave ceiling to snatch bats at dusk. And I was pretty impressed with those snakes.

I honestly think we’re close to the point where personal electronics are as powerful as they need to be and manufacturers are scrambling for more reasons for planned obsolescence. For example, the Windows 11 requirements are about secure boot, not processing power or memory requirements.

I’m still rockin’ my Galaxy S10 and the desktop I built in 2016. Both meet my needs just fine right now.

Next up: Totalitarian Taco Bar.

Signs for Empire Pizza on the old building were reported by KHOU 11 Monday, though it is uncertain whether the restaurant is open to the public yet.

I believe that building is cursed.

He does give greedy bottom vibes.

This man could have been one heartbeat away from the presidency.

If I remember correctly, some of them would give out books of matches for free if you pressed a button. They were an important resource for GenX children up to no good.

Stand firm, you crazy bitch.

Bland wafer Catholic checking in. You would think ritual cannibalism would be a bit spicier.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, BLUE!

When I was in grad school in Buffalo, I lived near the giraffe pens of the Buffalo Zoo on Amherst Street (if you’re familiar with Buffalo, you know exactly where this is). I used to park across the street from my apartment in Delaware Park, right near the zoo. One morning, I go to my car to go to work, and there’s a peacock. Not in the zoo, but just hanging out in the park. As soon as I got to work that morning, I called the zoo, thinking I’d be a hero for reporting a wild animal escape, and they were like, “Oh, yeah, thanks. He’s been getting out a lot because there’s a truck over there he likes. We’ll send someone out this afternoon to get him.”

I learned 3 things:

1. Peacock escapes are not uncommon.
2. Peacocks like trucks.
3. Peacock escapes do not require immediate action, in fact, if reported first thing in the morning, somebody might get around to retrieving him in the afternoon.

We need to cook, Jesse, cuz Weird Al ain’t fuckin’ around!

He looks a lot like one of our boys. He’s a distinguished, older gentleman.

I’m cool with more aurora borealis. I was only able to see a dull red glow during the last solar storm.

I don’t like grave dancing. I kept silent when Kirk was killed out of respect for his family. I kept quiet yesterday out of respect for the Cheney family. But when they pull this shit, the gloves are off.

First of all, although the first response was brilliant, it should have been, “Jesus tried to stop the BLEEDING, but forgot there was a hole in his hand.” It evokes better visuals, plus you could modify the statue to better represent his final moments.

Eh, I had another one, but I think I need to workshop it a bit before it’s ready for prime-time. It’s about how a future generation might interpret this statue. There’s potential there, I think.

That’s all I have for now. I’ll be back to mock this right-wing glurge further if I think of anything else.