I would imagine most giraffes, male or otherwise, mate with giraffes.

Is somebody making soup?

Wimmelboner

The FAILING and UNSKILLED pool company that SOMEHOW got a no bid contract is SOLELY TO BLAME. EVERYONE knows they are terrible and HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER

DJT

/s

So close. Just turn 90⁰ to your left.

JOHN PADDLED TANTRUM

On Mar-a-Lago

I’m glad they are being responsible by wedging the hose in there with a towel.

President Donald Trump has unveiled the D-list musical acts to perform at a replacement MAGA rally after issuing a directive to “cancel” his disastrous Freedom 250 concert series.

Trump’s Great American State Fair, part of the country’s 25oth anniversary celebrations, saw most of the headline acts cancel due to his link to the event.

Now the president, who turns 80 this month, has moved into damage control mode with a new “Rally to end all Rallies,” to be held in Washington, D.C., on June 24, the day before the State Fair shows were due to begin.

The president announced the new rally on Truth Social on Thursday night.

And he has managed to secure “a fine and highly dignified gentleman” to headline the event: himself.

For his rally, Trump has booked his usual MAGA-friendly performers, after the ones previously booked for the State Fair, including Martina McBride, Milli Vanilli and his Celebrity Apprentice pal Bret Michaels, deserted him.

For his warm-up act at the rally, Trump picked 83-year-old country singer Lee Greenwood, whose signature hit “God Bless the U.S.A.” was released in 1984. Greenwood has performed the song at Trump rallies since 2016. He also sang it when Trump appeared at the Charlie Kirk memorial last September, the singer proudly sharing it on his social media.

Greenwood’s last hit was a 2001 re-release of “God Bless the U.S.A.,” while three of his top five songs on Spotify are variations of the track.

“We don’t want singers with no talent, but big fees to put you to sleep, we’ve told them all to stay home,” Trump said on Thursday. “All we want is you, me, a few speakers, and the Greatest Music ever played, the same Music you have listened to for years!”

Trump added, “We will have the fabulous Lee Greenwood introducing me with what has turned out to be one of the Greatest Hits of All Time, GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.”

Greenwood confirmed in an X post that he would be performing his trademark hit with the United States Marine Band.

“Growing up as a farm kid in California, I never could have imagined that one day I would stand on the National Mall, alongside our Commander in Chief, and help commemorate this remarkable milestone in our nation’s history,” Greenwood wrote.

The president also announced “the amazing Christopher Macchio” to perform some of his personal favorite classical songs. “Not since the legendary Luciano Pavarotti has there been such a voice!” Trump wrote.

Despite having just 571 monthly listeners on Spotify, the 47-year-old is now Trump’s go-to opera singer.

He has a history of performing for Trump at rallies and other MAGA events, including singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” at Trump’s inauguration last year. The opera tenor has 2,000 subscribers on YouTube, and his page includes multiple videos of his performances for the president, including singing “New York, New York” at a Trump rally at Madison Square Garden in 2024.

His YouTube page sees Macchio interviewed by right-wing broadcaster Benny Johnson, while Macchio’s X account is full of MAGA content, including praising Elon Musk and slamming transgender rights.

Using Macchio to perform songs the late Pavarotti made famous also bypasses the issue Trump faced when playing the recordings at his rallies.

Pavarotti’s family previously protested his use of the song “Nessun Dorma,” citing concerns about his views on immigration.

The singer’s widow, Nicoletta Mantovani Pavarotti, and three daughters said in a statement in 2016 that “the values of brotherhood and solidarity which Luciano Pavarotti expressed throughout the course of his artistic career are entirely incompatible with the worldview offered by the candidate Donald Trump.”

Earlier this week, Republican congressman Tim Burchett had suggested Greenwood could have headlined a rebooted Great American State fair, as well as other MAGA-safe artists including Kid Rock.

“It’d be cool to have Lee Greenwood come out and sing—he’s got a bunch of great songs—but of course the ending would be ‘God Bless the U.S.A,’” Burchett said in a video.

The Great American State Fair website now lists no performers, with the event remaining in limbo. Rappers Flo Rida, Vanilla Ice and Freedom Williams from C+C Music Factory have yet to cancel, with all other headliners already walking away.

Most cited the fact that they were booked without being told about the event’s political links, including Milli Vanilli singer Fab Morvan, who pulled out of the fair this week.

On Sunday, Trump initially flagged the idea of the rally, saying he wanted to “cancel” the failing State Fair.

He posted on Truth Social that he wanted a “giant MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN RALLY, for 250, instead of having overpriced singers, who nobody wants to hear, whose music is boring, and yet who do nothing but complain.”

The Daily Beast has contacted the White House and Freedom 250 for comment.

And even if we could magically all reshuffle into a geographic split, can you imagine being neighbors with Trumplandia?

“Cancel it, just like I canceled my involvement with the failing and unsafe to be in Kennedy Center.”

😂😂😂

Marky Marx

Getting ready for his Wrinklemania 250 cage match vs The Undertator

Of course the strong negative correlation between sleep apnea and didgeridoo players is household knowledge, but before the study I think most of us assumed that was because most didgeridoo players are upside down.

Their point is it’s a job title and working for the worst offenders in big tech isn’t entailed in that. You can work in tech by writing surveillance software for Palantir or you can work in tech by being the website admin for UNICEF. Both are tech workers, but only one is part of the problem.

It’s not every day you see colorized stills from the 90s. I just picture the world as black and white back then /s

The autopsy concluded that so-called “identity politics” don’t resonate with white male voters. The report noted the success of Trump’s attack ads, particularly the anti-trans spots with the kicker, “Kamala is for they/them, President Trump is for you.”

“If the vice president would not change her position—and she did not—then there was nothing which would have worked as a response,” the report asserts.

Fuck these ghouls

At first I thought the idea of a skeleton eating chips was ridiculous, but then I noticed the intestines, so it all checks out.

They make profit because they shift costs onto us in the form of environmental destruction, health crises, dysfunctional politics, hostile city planning, etc.

The idea that the balance sheet of an oil company reflects all its costs is exactly what’s wrong with the stock market. That balance sheet reflects the costs they pay while they are enabled and incentivized to shift as much cost as possible onto the rest of us.