Even surrounded by filth you can choose to be clean.

I’m an IT purchaser for a public health system. Get rid of me and my colleagues and the system would keep ticking over for years in some form.

But I’m a small part of something very important.

Quiet spaces. Just sitting and breathing for a while is a valuable activity. It doesn’t have to make money to be worth doing.

It’s so hard to pick just one. They all have their moments.

…except Miss Piggy, who has always annoyed me beyond measure.

Plus you get to see Anthony Stewart Head sing while mutilating people.

What if you don’t inhale?

That was how I got my first head injury!

Finance. I sit in an office 40 hours a week to make my foobar number go up. Other people will give me things, but make my foobar number go down. At one point someone gave me a building, but made my number go down to the point where I had less than no foobars. And because I owed the right kind of foobars to the right kind of people, other people were willing to pretend I had foobars.

A note saying the line cook prepared your burger with one of the pickle slices in his ass.

God, I hope not.

A mad wizard traps the characters in a vast distillation apparatus, to render them down to their essential humours?

Shit. I’ve been conned.

I did it. Elvis paid me to.

I make gaming terrain out of cardboard and other household junk! …not very successfully. But every attempt is better than the last.

One day at work, someone locked the storeroom keys in the storeroom. Luckily the network engineer had a set of lockpicks in his car, and knew how to use them. He played it like lockpicks are a perfectly normal thing to carry in your vehicle, but we don’t buy it.

Sounds reasonable to me.

I started buying my own beer at 15. I had a streak of grey in my hair, which helped.

That was… long enough ago that photo ID wasn’t an issue.

“You decide” normally means someone is going to spout bullshit for 15 minutes and doesn’t want the responsibility of backing it up.

Ever thought about shitcanning all of that and just folding some paper cranes?

Closed.

Your average closet monster is restricted by the size of the closet. Can you imagine what size closet monster could lurk in an ensuite?