In our techo utopian future, the only caffeinated beverage will be Diet Mt. Dew.
Ewwww, I will take the crab juice.
Sorry, everyone who knows how to make khlav kalash has been deported.
Because of your lack of patriotism for our national beverage, the leadership has decreed that you will now only be able to drink caffeine-free Diet Mt. Dew.
The leader has issues a new memorandum. You will only be allowed to drink flat, room-temperature, caffeine free Diet Mt. Dew.
You think it’s going to be bad when people find out coffee prices are shooting up? Wait until they find out about chocolate.
And meat after all that feed gets tariffed.
Good news - chocolate rations have increased from 30 grams to 20 grams
This calls for 50 milliliters of Victory Gin!
Dude, if we tariff coffee I will personally write a strenuous letter to Trump. In crayon, and strenuous because I won’t have had my coffee.
I do think like 1 million americans sending letters to the white house telling them to fuck off is a funny thing to do. How many letters can be opened by 1 person a day?
All of them in severe grogginess crayon writing on construction paper. So they know as soon as they open it.
Coffee, tea, and everything you’re wearing right now.
Oh no, but I need to buy a new buttplug every day!
Wait, I’m not American, nvm.
Most buttplugs can be washed. Just a money-saving tip for you there.
Nah, it’s not about single-use, it’s about the collection. You can’t take some og the rare ones out of their original packaging or they lose value!
I hear it’s all about the blind box butt plugs today. That way you have to keep buying them and getting duplicates until you get a rare one.
A shiny!!
A ton of parts of what you are driving, all your maga hats, a ton of stuff that’s in your house
Your mom wears maga hats.
I wanted some foreign goods to get more expensive. To end slavery, not to escalate a trade war!
I should have checked my vicinity for any stray monkey’s paws when I made that wish.
“Fair Trade” is what you’re looking for. I don’t know how legit all instances are or whether they make a real difference, but its an attempt
This may sound pedantic, but you’re looking for Fairtrade (one word) for the organization with the strictest vetting standards. Fair Trade (two words) isn’t regulated and just means they follow some sort of ethical code. It’s not necessarily bad, but it warrants more product specific research.
Huh I wonder how many Fair Trade items I bought thinking they were Fairtrade. Thanks.
everything you’re wearing right now
Much of that is cotton. I believe that in the “good” ol’ days the US grew that themselves. Start that industry up again, and you don’t need mass deportations across the border.
The US still makes massive amounts of cotton. That all gets exported to other countries before getting turned into garments and things.
Cotton takes a LOT of water to grow. And takes up farmland that could grow food.
Most of your clothes are artificial fabrics these days. Or blended
Ah, yes…
All we need to keep that industry running like the good ol’ days is a massive industry of government subsidized illegal immigration of easily identified persons
You could even run the farms the same way as in the olden days, if you criminalize and incarcarate enough black people.
Well boy howdy, it turns out we already been done doin that there part about criminalizing and incarcerating them black people just out of sheer racism. You’re telling me that there could’ve been a profit motive to it this whole time too?
jk, private contracted prisons were already profiting deeply off of that.
I thought you were already doing that…
I mean, that’s how cotton is produced nowadays too, except Uyghurs are the ones doing it.
Yea, and I hear children’s tiny hands are perfect for picking it.
Some people have never even looked at a dang banana
It’s one banana Michael. What could it cost, $10?
Chocolate, cinnamon, vanilla, pepper, tea, bananas, and a fuckload of other things that are completely integrated into our regular diets are almost exclusively imported.
Avocados for your avocado toast. Smh.
not if you live in cali
That’s it, the other states have crossed the line, time for CalExit.
honestly this is more feasible than brexit imo (not advocating for it)
Such a nice opportunity lost. “I’m not avocading for it.”
id rather advocate for is the demolishing of all borders and the guarantee of helping every person on the planet no matter what.
It was just a little pun. Advocating / Avocading.
Sugar too. That ain’t healthy and is kinda fancy but… Can you see them losing their shit over sugar prices? I do.
Tomatoes imports were 2.5B in 2023.
Apparently the us imports 15% of it’s food supply.
There’s plenty of corn syrup to replace it with unfortunately.
I understand your perspective but I want to ask a question, not to you, but for you to think about it. What motivation causes the imports?
If corn syrup is a replacement for whatever they are doing, why are they importing raw sugar? If raw sugar is cheaper than you would expect them to already use sugar for everything and not corn syrup, and switching to corn syrup would be an increase in cost . If raw sugar costs the same, import is additional paperwork, why import? Raw sugar is more expensive, why would they pay more?
Raw sugar can’t be replaced easily in their use case? Now that makes sense.
Sugar tastes better than HFCS. Ask anyone who drinks Mexican Coke. “Tastes better” doesn’t matter when there’s no other option.
Fact is, HFCS is cheaper. I haven’t checked the entirety of it’s supply chain to figure out why, but it is cheaper.
If sugar was the same cost, they wouldn’t have switched to HFCS in the first place (why mess with your successful product for no gain?). Fact of the matter is that HFCS is saving them money. It might be pennies per bottle, but when you’re moving 10M bottles of soda, those pennies turn into dividends, literally.
Which is why I am almost certain that there is a reason why they import raw sugar
And the rest is farmed here by undocumented workers.
That can’t be right. Corn can’t be only 85% of our food.
But seriously, there’s so much goddamn corn. Our meat is fed corn. Our processed foods and drinks are pumped full of corn. Even our fucking cars eat corn. We’re up to our fucking ears in ears of corn.
Based on what I find online, the us import about $2B in raw-sugar, while some (about 100M) is exported again.
Source: https://oec.world/en/profile/bilateral-product/raw-sugar/reporter/usa
How much “processed” sugar leaves the us again? I am not sure. Maybe all of it.
We already use HFCS in everything, it will just get even more extreme.
Gonna have to put a spoonful of HFCS into your ersatz coffee.
The government subsidizes corn, so there’s an incentive to use that corn. There are tariffs on imported sugar so it’s cheaper to use HFCS
W-we gotta get out of here Morty! Everything here is on a fucking cob!
Sugar is fancy now? Man my grandpa would be thrilled were he alive. There’s a colloquial term for the farm-houses of sugar beat farmers in Northern Germany, “beat castles”, as they quickly made a lot of money growing the beats in the late 19th century. When sugar became more accessible due to the processing of the beats to refined sugar. The wealth is long gone now, similarly to how salt used to be a luxury good.
No. That is the point.
Sugar is “fancy” as in “you don’t need sugar for your diet”.
Technically, we don’t need raw sugar for our diet at all. So technically correct?
We also don’t need any sugar substitutes, like HFCS, but you can find that or sugar, in the ingredients list of pretty much all processed foods.
Yay capitalism!
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A lot of fruit/veg is grown in places they can get away with slave wages and then shipped here because that’s how little labor costs. Less than our already super low paid fruit/veg pickers that are primarily the people who escaped the countries and situations that put them in those even lower slave wage places.
Well, the US turning into a banana republic will at least solve the problem for bananas.
Apparently, farmers buy a lot of fertilizer from China.
Don’t worry, that can be sourced locally. Trump produces enough bullshit to supply the country.
Yeah but all his hot air isn’t got for global warming.
Unfortunately toxic bullshit isnt great for growing things.
Wonder if we will see an uptick in American made “koffee”?
Something like the Ersatzkaffee from yesteryear. I mean they have the means of making caffeine so maybe it will be better?
Black Rifle Koffee
But (assuming a tarrif is something that can even pass) I imagine you’re going to see a swiss cheese of exemptions for favored countries. And these countries will become a back door for imports.
Expect all of your coffee to be mysteriously harvested from Canada.
No don’t. Last mandate, Trump out tarrifs on Canadian steel, labeled it a strategic risk. Read somewhere that it boosted Russian owned us steel mills somehow. Canada is not getting any favors from that guy.
Read somewhere that it boosted Russian owned us steel mills somehow.
Given the degree of US sanctioning on Russia, I’m not clear what a “Russian owned US Steel Mill” is even supposed to look like.
I remember Japanese Manufacturer Nippon Steel is moving towards full acquisition of US Steel, the largest steel maker in the country. That has, at least in part, been driven by the threat of US tariffs. But this only further illustrates the problem. Foreign mega-corps gobbling up domestic industry do nothing to improve the US economy.
Why do you think Canada would be spared tariffs?
The intent is clearly to “fix” the USs trade deficit, so Canada being the biggest trade partner would be prime for these.
I think any tariff that passes will have a swiss cheese of exemptions, because that’s just how the game is played in Congress.
Lobby hard enough and you’ll get your country excused one way or another.
Canada being the biggest trade partner would be prime for these.
It would be prime for Canadian ports, and for a host of middle men who get to launder trade goods through a legal loophole.
But that’s the real end game. Not domesticating manufacturing, but monopolizing channels for import/export.
I mean sure that’s the way it went before, but just on the intention of the incoming administration (who will have full control of all three branches) the planned tariffs will target something.
I’d bet they exempt it. The corporate grinder doesn’t really work without stimulants for the workers to purchase so they can work (and consume) more and sleep less.
No, need to keep the peasants to tired to revolt
A LOT of food sold in the US are imported.
I just remembered that Coca-Cola requires denatured coca leaves from South America.
So enjoy that $8 Coke can, America
Finally a real cure for American obesity.
We’ll just drink mountain dew, instead. It has bonus brominated vegetable oil.
Ah, well, if the vegetable oil has been brominated by the council of bros, it should be all good, bro.
Politically-motivated tea tax, what could go wrong?
AYO is that what they’re doing‽
Who’s doing this‽
“No tariffs without Harris”
what would the boston tea party equivalent for america be? dumping an entire mcdonalds worth in the sewers?
The Boston tea party was the American equivalent of the Boston tea party.
I think they meant how Britons would protest against the US.
I think they meant to say modern American, no?
The Galveston Coffee Shootout.
Then they should’ve
Maybe they a word
That’s just eating at McDonald’s with … less steps.
Nationalizing energy infrastructure
They wouldn’t handle it.
Tbh thats just one step less than how it normally works.
All this insecurity about tariffs has me hoping he have a Boston Tea Party situation. If I recall the story correctly, they threw the expensive British Tea overboard to protest the tax.
Similarly, I also recall a sugar tax, and either an ink or paper one: basically, I hope I can see something similar to see there’s still a small piece of American values from our ancestors (not the twisted Conservative heaven MAGA wants, but on the American dream of freedom, liberty, and justice for ALL.)
No Taxation Without Representation!
Can we do it without fucking up the environment in the process?
It’s hilarious how everyone knows the Tea Party and all of the taxes, when the real reason the American revolution happened was that England wasn’t going to let us drive Native Americans out
I’m confused by the Wikipedia article and how it relates to what you said, I want to believe that youre right but I’m stupid and need an ELI5 version
It isn’t something I had ever heard until I attended a lecture by the National Security Decision Making Game folks - they are intense on history. (And I genuinely have a bachelors degree in history - with an American focus)
Essentially, the French and Indian war fucking sucked for the Crown and Kingdom. It was mega expensive and difficult and ya know, the Indians live there. Who knows how many of them there are, if we keep pissing them off it’s going to keep costing us money. Soldiers cost money. Sending soldiers across the ocean costs a lot of money.
The French had a lot more native allies. The Americans were constantly being mega dicks, the French weren’t awesome but they were relatively chill.
Anyway, they finally win this expensive ass war and get some land. Indians live on it. Americans want land now - the Crown wants to not start another war and would in fact like a nice buffer state. At the very least, it’s a good idea to take some time to lick some wounds and figure out what We want to do. (I suspect if George could have foreseen the French Revolution, maybe they would be more agrees - something to try if you play NSDM lol)
The Americans are not happy. And they keep pushing into native lands, making illegal and shady treaties, all the while having a fucking meltdown about having to pay taxes for all these fucking soldiers that are protecting them when people get mad about having their land stolen. The Crown is having to say things like “hey no you can’t buy Kentucky from like one guy.”
It’s one thing to be pissed off about paying taxes - it’s another to have the promise of land. In a way, we were built similarly to Rome.
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