I don’t know if anyone else has this problem but I have a really pacific issue. In general just I suck at talking. I find it hard to put my thoughts to words, I never know what words to use and I never know what to say.
I talk like xQc irl and the act of using words to hard I’m always slurring them out even tho I try not to and I have a stutter and a slip so saying thing is very hard.
I don’t know if anyone else has this problem but I have a really pacific issue.
The word you want here is “specific”. 👍
Thanks
Only West Coast people understand.
I lived for three months in Mazatlán. I get it.
I’m Indigenous Canadian and I grew up in a semi remote community where my family only spoke our Ojibway/Cree language. That was my first language for about the first ten years of my life.
I went to school and learned English and could understand it from a young age but I never needed to speak it.
At 14 I had to go high school in a city where everyone spoke English and I didn’t. I could understand everyone but I had a hell of a hard time speaking or even to be heard. My brain knew what to say but my mouth parts were so out of practice that I couldn’t speak properly or be understood. The software was working 100% but the hardware didn’t cooperate.
I had a hard time speaking English all through my teen years. I didn’t get comfortable with it until about 20. Even after that I spent about another five / ten years before I got fully comfortable with the language. I’m almost 50 now and I can comfortably speak English now and I have no problem making myself heard. Sad part is that in all that time, I’ve lost some of my ability to speak my Indigenous language.
Basically it’s just practice and sticking with it. You won’t sound right or you won’t sound good for a few years but keep at it. Make mistakes, make yourself sound goofy or silly … who cares … keep practicing and eventually you’ll get better with it. It took me a long time because I just don’t like interacting with people. I saw others like me who were more extroverted pick up the language a lot faster and within a year or two just become as normal of a speaker as anyone else.
Practise … it’s like saying you want to learn to sing … you won’t be good at it at first so you have to practice and not be afraid to fail and fail often … keep at it and eventually you’ll be just as good at speaking as anyone else.
I would like to add this: I’m pretty articulate in English, and even though I speak French quite well, I sometimes feel like a small child when I try to speak it with my francophone friends, which is why I shy away from that. I feel like I barely know how to express myself and, since I find that so easy in English, it frightens me to struggle so much with it.
I say all this to let you know that you’re not alone and that practice is, indeed, a path to success. It might not be what you need, but it’s worth trying.
Where can you practise speaking that you feel safe? Where you can expect not to be judged nor ridiculed?
If you legitimately speak like xQc, the first thing I’d tell you is to slow the hell down. That guy would probably get as much information out in the same amount of time, but easier to understand, if he just didn’t try speaking that fast. Last I heard it, even his québécois french was slurred.
As to finding the right words when speaking, it tends to come with knowing your subject well enough, and having decent vocabulary.
Past that, if you do struggle with the very act of translating ideas into the physical act of speaking, it could be a speech disorder which could likely benefit from speech therapy.
I got a job as a door to door salesman for a year and by the end of it I felt like talking in a way that was both fluid and engaging was my superpower. This is after having such crippling social anxiety that I would often run home and hide. It may be an impractical suggestion, but I would advise you find a structured way to practice where the goal isn’t just talking for its own sake.
You’re dealing with both impediments and social issues here. This would be difficult for anyone. I highly suggest professional help, but if it’s not available or you are unwilling, the next best thing would be to understand you’re going to need to fail a lot with intentions of getting better, and it may never happen. I’m rooting for you.
Edit: To clarify, speech therapy and general therapy are what you will benefit from.
I’ve done toastmasters a long time a go, and it really benefits me till today.
Speech pathology for the stutter and the slip. You can find some free help online but be careful, trying to fix speech issues on your own can make things worse in some cases. If you can, seek professional input.
trying to fix speech issues on your own can make things worse in some cases. If
Just remember the golden rule: nothing with your voice is supposed to hurt. If it hurts, then stop
Like anything, it’s practising doing it. Incidentally, this is one place using a chat bot might help you. These things are pretty good at carrying a conversation, and if you’re not comfortable talking to a person, it could be a good way to practice.
One really neat trick is to slow down and even pause words. This really helps me get my point across.
You can start by using chat gpt’s voice chat. it’s a small step, but it can help you practice carrying conversations. speaking in public is very different from talking alone, but this could give you some direction.
if your speech feels like xqc’s, one reason might be overthinking how others see your face or gestures. building self-confidence can help—working out, for example, can make you feel better about how you look, which often translates to confidence in speaking.
another issue could be speaking too fast. try slowing down. you might worry about awkward pauses, but people enjoy listening. if you speak with authority and maintain your pace, others will adjust and give you time to express yourself.
lastly, if eye contact makes you nervous, don’t overthink it. a quick glance now and then is fine. it keeps you calm and focused without overwhelming you. over time, this can make speaking much less stressful.
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I as a teen worked in a retail computer store Having to constantly interact with people really give you a sense of being able to communicate better. That or any job where you have to teach someone something.
Given the context of your post, I would suggest starting with the basics. Taking the time to learn how to write properly may give you some ability to speak properly.
I have a really pacific issue
I don’t know if this is typo or if you think your issue is as big as the ocean.
Given the context of the post, that they’re asking for help, picking on this seems needless and unsympathetic. Given their own acknowledged problems with speech I don’t see why making a joke about their writing would seem helpful or appropriate.
I was actually being dead serious.
You deadly seriously didn’t know if they were talking about the Pacific Ocean? In a post about someone who has trouble speaking clearly, in a reply clearly establishing you were aware there were writing errors, zeroing in on a word well known to be accidentally substituted for the word “specifically” by some speakers. You deadly seriously didn’t know?
I’ve never actually seen someone write out “pacific” in such a way and it’s quite plausible that people mishear something and presume it to be true based on other context - such as an issue as big as an ocean. Yes. It happens a lot.
Practice by reading out loud slowly and enunciating like you want a child to understand you. Do the same with others’ speeches, as they were written to be said out loud. If they are recorded in an accent that is in the neighborhood of your goal, even better - you can practice talking exactly like a recording.
Even though this isn’t off-the-cuff speaking, you will likely adopt verbal patterns that let your words flow more freely.
You can also join clubs that are dedicated to speaking to other people. If all else fails, something like toastmasters, though that’s specifically about public speaking.
If this doesn’t go well, that’s also okay. You might want to look into a speech therapist if practice doesn’t help.
I’ve struggled with putting my thoughts into words almost my whole life. Only in the last 2-3 years I started to actually get better (I’m 28 soon).
What could help is
- If you managed to find words for a thought write them down somewhere (I used phone notes for this)
- Not sure about this one, but maybe reading books out loud might help (doesn’t have to be with anyone present)
I did both of these occasionally, but I think what actually helped me here was LSD, which I don’t recommend unless you’ve properly researched the (side-) effects, are aware of all the risks and have trusted source to get it from.
