one thing that helped me (and still does) is ignoring labels and thinking about what you want to do. like, what pronouns do you want, how do you want to dress, what do you want to be called. i found it easier to think about that and instead using that as a guide to finding a label that fits (or skipping the label entirely)

Any chance you are autistic? I ask because, along with confusion about social constructs, we also tend to show confusion about gender constructs.

Figuring out gender is hard. Picking a specific label isn’t the most important thing, it’s fine to use umbrella terms like “questioning”, “queer”, “gender nonconforming”, or “non-binary” while you figure it out (or even as a permanent label if you don’t feel a need to describe your gender specifically).

I would recommend the book My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein, I found the exercises in it to be very helpful for examining how I felt about my gender.

so like presentation does not equal gender or whatevs, but like trying new stuff out can help you understand yourself and what you really want! trying new clothes or makeup, different pronouns. see what sticks. being trans/nb is a pretty wide range of experiences, and its ok if yrs don’t match up to others