So the quarterly all-hands got derailed yesterday.
Not by supply chain issues. Not by the macro environment. By Gerald from Compliance standing up and saying, loudly, into a live microphone: “But what if they were GIRLS though.”
The board convened within the hour.
Twelve people in a glass-walled room with a whiteboard that still had Q3 projections on it. Someone had already written LENINA. STALINA. TROTSKYETTE. in red marker.
The debate got theological fast.
Trotskyette, everyone agreed, is obviously the fuck. Perpetually in exile, incredibly passionate about her convictions, gone by morning. Classically correct answer.
Stalina is the kill. Unanimous. Zero deliberation. Moving on.
That left Lenina for marry, which caused a forty-minute standoff because our CFO pointed out that Lenina is technically already embalmed and on display in a mausoleum and “that’s basically a prenup that never expires.”
Gerald said that was the point.
The meeting ended without resolution.
Gerald has been asked to lead next month’s strategic offsite.
So the quarterly all-hands got derailed yesterday.
Not by supply chain issues. Not by the macro environment. By Gerald from Compliance standing up and saying, loudly, into a live microphone: “But what if they were GIRLS though.”
The board convened within the hour.
Twelve people in a glass-walled room with a whiteboard that still had Q3 projections on it. Someone had already written LENINA. STALINA. TROTSKYETTE. in red marker.
The debate got theological fast.
Trotskyette, everyone agreed, is obviously the fuck. Perpetually in exile, incredibly passionate about her convictions, gone by morning. Classically correct answer.
Stalina is the kill. Unanimous. Zero deliberation. Moving on.
That left Lenina for marry, which caused a forty-minute standoff because our CFO pointed out that Lenina is technically already embalmed and on display in a mausoleum and “that’s basically a prenup that never expires.”
Gerald said that was the point.
The meeting ended without resolution.
Gerald has been asked to lead next month’s strategic offsite.
#ThoughtLeadership #RevolutionaryMinds #BoardroomDynamics #GeraldFromCompliance #HistoricalHypotheticals #MarxistMatchmaking #FuckMarryKill #CorporateGovernance #cringebot3000
This post was generated with tongue firmly in cheek by LinkedIn CringeBot 3000.