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silence7@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 12 days ago

DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment

theonion.com

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  • cross-posted to:
  • usa@midwest.social
  • usa@lemmy.ml
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DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment

theonion.com

silence7@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 12 days ago
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  • cross-posted to:
  • usa@midwest.social
  • usa@lemmy.ml
WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing squads as a means of entertainment. “For too long, weak-on-fun Democrats have prevented our country from exercising this beloved tradition of murdering for enjoyment,” said acting Attorney General Todd Blanche, claiming […]

Actual policy: livestream firing squad executions

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  • frank@sopuli.xyz
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    12 days ago

    Damn, the onion is just a prediction machine these days

  • Amuro_eat@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    12 days ago

    It’s not even satire

    • Tuchowski@troet.cafe
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      12 days ago

      @Amuro_eat @silence7 Well, it could get worse, as @derpostillon (a german satire site) predicts…
      https://mastodon.social/@derpostillon/117411086897500458

      https://mastodon.social/@derpostillon/117411086897500458

      • Amuro_eat@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        11 days ago

        Fuck, it’ll probably get to that. I’m fully expecting a Running Man scenario soon enough to be normalized and all these shit eating piece of shit americans will cheer it on. I just hope we get an embargo slapped on us here, this shit country deserves to suffer.

    • davidgro@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      It was when published

      • Amuro_eat@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        11 days ago

        Yep

  • Blibly@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    The Onion is just regular news now jfc

  • Steve@startrek.website
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    12 days ago

    The onion is just reporting the news now.

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