I think he might be referencing those “I’m a Mac. And I’m a PC” commercials

I think you’re confusing training it with running it. After it’s trained, you can run it on much weaker hardware.

It’s a really big poop.

He meant that you’d have to start fathering children at 14 so that you could have 4 of them under 18 by the time you turn 18, which would be the age for military service.

What makes that a bad thing?

What do you consider the South and/or good BBQ? There are a few different styles of BBQ and quite a few major BBQ cities in the South.