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Falls are the leading cause of injury-related death among adults ages 65 and older, and the fall death rate is increasing. [CDC]
I see a few options open to us when we reach 65:
- Avoid all stairs
- Stay seated at all times
- Wear a fat suit to cushion any fall
- If you’re already fat, carry on about your day and enjoy peace of mind should you fall
- Live in a pool
- Adopt a Hutt lifestyle
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The day had arrived where my name fell in with the other Tribes for Sewer Inspector. My excitement overflowed as my time was nearly at hand, the job I had dreamed about was a dice roll away! The dice were dropped and the world went silent as a name was selected…
The name chosen that day was not mine. It went to a man from Cloaca, John Septix Crapopolous… Shit.
Something tells me he was not the captain. But I’ll wait for all the facts to come out before I rush to judgement.
The probability that a monkey would throw its shit against the wall and have it look exactly like Shakespeare is, on the other hand, extremely likely in our lifetime.
First, I throw in a jalapeno as a life preserver, then I come in with the second chip like an S.S. Minnow sent from heaven. Finally I Mobey Dick the rescue team and send them to the depths of hell that is my digestive tract.
Looks like an albino Harvey Weinstein.
Can’t believe that glass at the bottom of the photo has survived being on the counter without a cat pawing it off.
PETER VENKMAN: He’s gonna take a little nap now, but, uh, he says he’s Florida Man. Does that make any sense to you?
EGON SPENGLER: Some. I just met California Man. He’s here with me now.
PETER VENKMAN: Oh, wonderful. We have to get these two together.
EGON SPENGLER: I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.
Well don’t keep me in suspense! What was her answer?!
Sounds like the hamster wants out.
We’ve been using Master/Bater down at the church.
I’ve never played these games but after 16 I’m starting to think they are gaslighting us with the word “Final”.
By the title I thought this would be where within the home do adults spend most of their time. Like I spend most of my time in the study and my wife spends most of her time in the bedroom with some other guy.
I would never miss a day of school as a kid if I got to do that every day!