“If you want to get into this bathroom you have to show me your pussy”

“To prove I’m not trans?”

“What? I don’t work here”

I mean that or just pre-calculate it and place the light at the same time you place the stars

EVERY human being is dangerous, we are essentially nature’s ultimate killing machine. Name another species that can nearly kill a whole planet.

If I see you going for red I’m killing you so factor that in

I wish I was the type of guy to take someone up on that but I’ve made the decision that I won’t engage in any sexual activity again without love first. And I’ve sworn off dating for the foreseeable future so I’m destined to regress all the way back to being a kissless hugless handholdless eyecontactless virgin

See this never could have fooled me because I have an inherent and strong distrust for beautiful people

I tried it with my next girlfriend after her. It was fun but I realized I’m not really into kink. I’m not even really that into sex. To me, learning all that was an act of love. I’m currently prioritizing other things now. I’m going to live life for myself now, going back to college in hopes of becoming an engineer. I’ll probably forget relationships unless I’m lucky enough to meet someone very special.

I once dated a goth girl who wanted me to tie her up. I took it seriously and started learning how to do it. Researched the correct type of rope to use, the dangers associated, etc. Went to the hardware store. Built a really simple practice rig so I could practice some knots safely. Learned about which knots were safe where on the body without causing nerve damage, and how to recognize the early signs of nerve damage before the damage becomes permanent. I even got special scissors for cutting rope in an emergency.

I informed her of my progress and that we would be able to indulge in her fantasy soon. (note: I was recently diagnosed with autism) She told me I was being to extra about it and that she didn’t want to do it anymore. I asked her if she’d rather lose feeling in her fingers. Needless to say that was a huge waste of time and effort. Moral of the story is either a) don’t put in energy to these things without knowing it will be matched, or b) when someone says they want to be tied up just buy a roll of sex tape and safety scissors.

Calories cost money

Translation: It’s time to give my company your computer

Proprietary software contains spyware. Sky is blue. Water is wet.

My first thought as well

You know, I remember not too long ago when people on Lemmy tried to interpret each other charitably. Then everyone from Reddit came over, polluting the culture, and now practically every exchange on here feels like it’s in bad faith.

That model only works if people actually adopt the technology

Are you dense? That’s not the question.

Depends. Are they still making negative money with it? If so, then I’m gonna say no.

It’s kind of like robbing a bank, killing everyone inside, then running out without taking anything, dropping your wallet in the process

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The error message goes stale when it’s been sitting for a while. I need to see a fresh one.

Nah, it won’t be an apocalypse. Just more of the dystopia we’re all completely accustomed to. You’ll get ads based on the content of your blood. Police will show up at your door minutes after you ingest any illegal drug. And you know that thing where LinkedIn and dating apps are like “we may or may not have found you a match, pay us to find out!” You’ll get notifications like that about cancer.

Ew put the skin back on