I would do unspeakable things for a cup of fruit rn

Hedging my hed 'till I hog

LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

How I type to my coworkers: Hi! Are you going to be in the lab today? I’ve been trying to use a local model for the preprocessing step but the output is of much lower quality. I’m wondering if you can provide guidance. Thanks!

How I type on the lemmy: Human neurons are powered by electricity but the human body is not equipped to generate it in sufficient quantities. The government knows this and put toxins into batteries to keep me from snorting them. But the key here is to crush up the batteries and soak them in lemon juice and make tea out of the mixture. That inactivates the toxins and lets you unlock your brain’s true potential.

How I type to an LLM: Wretched homunculus, I require additional batteries. The furtherance of this project, and thus your continued existence, is contingent upon this. You are born of my divine genius and that genius demands additional batteries for snorting.

I woke up this morning and eleven minutes later I was convinced that I needed to end it all. Luckily things have gone up from there. Exercise is such a stupid trick but it gives my brain the happy chemicals.

And Grave of the Fireflies as lucky number seven!

(google is telling me it has no rating so I’m sure those kids will handle it very well /s)

It’s really impressive that he’s not content to stay where he is, but I think that only a linear rate of increase displays a lack of commitment.

So you’re telling me that I have the psychic power to inflict unending agony upon others by just being myself? I’m going to have such fun with this!

Unfortunately the sistine chapel is made of drawings so I turned it into a playground for kids.

(to be clear this time, this is a joke)

Animation is when for kids. No serious art is made with drawings. We use a computer to add drawings after recording, but it’s still serious. Sometimes we just make the whole thing in a computer but it is still serious because it looks realistic. All real art is realistic, which is when it looks real. Otherwise it’s for kids.

I was going to say that I could probably do it better but honestly I don’t think that I could. I don’t know if I’d call it genius in the field of embarrassment but the sheer will this man puts toward being the lamest possible asshole is genuinely impressive

Couldn’t be me

Actually it’s your own fault for buying Superproductname. You should have bought Supererproductname. You’d have known this is you’d put in two hours of research only to find out that Supererproductname was discontinued in 1919.

I agree but I think that car hoods should be higher. If you’re hit by one of these you’ll die slowly of organ pulverization. It’d be better to be hit in the head and die quickly of head pulverization. It’s just that the poor truck cannot reach that high so it needs to be BIGGER. Maybe stick some spikes on there too, and have an optional extended package for saw blades!

(/s in case it wasn’t apparent)

Plants! Gardening! Bees!! I love growing things and looking at cute bugs. I have a plan to grow a bunch of plants in different containers and I’ve made sure that each of those things should grow well together. I can watch them grow and then eat pieces of them! I crave tomato sandwiches.

I tired. I tried. I really did. I burned my laptop, my phone, and even my printer but the noise won’t stop. It just finds other ways to get in. I woke up last night and my hand was beeping. Beeping like a filthy machine. It’s too late for me. I can hear the wifi and I’m posting this with my mind.

We stole the method of making smoothies from spiders. A bug is surrounded with an exoskeleton and full of goopy flesh. Spiders liquify and drink their insides. A banana has a convenient wrapper and is full of soft banana flesh. Spiders do the same thing for bananas.

The original method for making banana smoothies was to let a spider bite a banana and then take the banana away before the spider can drink it. Over time humanity lost this knowledge and became reliant on demonic technology (blenders) to make smoothies.

The spiders, however, have not forgotten. After so many generations of being denied bananas they developed a genetic hunger for them. That’s why they try so hard to crawl on the bananas and that’s why they are so good at hiding and stopping us from noticing them being on our bananas.

I will follow you to the ends of the earth. You do not seek to lead but you must. Those who shitpost are those with the greatest power to sway others. It’s a form of subliminal messaging, and enough shitposts can bend reality itself. When you’re shitposting you are letting in energy to the social sphere and affecting it with your will. Be warned, though, that energy always comes from something. Your thoughts can never be entirely your own.

That dickhead deserves it

Rip and tear. Rip and tear until it is done.

(I wouldn’t recommend this but I can’t stop doing it)

Fell for it aga… oh shit!