Jokes on them, I grew up playing “Frontier: Elite II” on an stock Amiga 500. My reactions peak at 0.6FPS! 🎖️

Don’t ever message me again you piece of sh17.

Putting a layer just inside your nostrils to catch pollen and help with hayfever

You found the recipe? I’m still reading about how the recipe reminds them of warm summer evenings walking along the banks of the river, shortly after they adopted their rescue pup but before the birth of their first child. I’m sure the ingredients list will turn up soon.

Me personally? No.

The drones can remain airborne for about eight minutes on a single battery charge

1. Hear drone
2. Hide for 8 minutes
3. Drone evaded

This is the first I’m heading of this ‘Nord Loneliness Epidemic’

Nicole?

Praise the prophets! A new toilet has been revealed unto me!

Jerry: She literally said, “life is like a box of chocolates”?
George: Yes, she said, “you never know what you’re gonna get.”
Jerry: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”?
George: Word for word.
Jerry: They have a card in them…
George: They have a menu.
Jerry: Right, the little menu card! So you know exactly what you’re getting.
George: I told her that.
Jerry: So what did you do?
George: I took that box of chocolates and I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across the Upper West Side. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across Manhattan. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Manhattan. For no particular reason I just kept on going.

Perhaps the Met Police Commissioner should write a strongly worded letter to Farage then? Or does he reserve that action for left-wing parties only?

Weiner touching porcelain:
hot dog on a fancy plate ✅
sitting down to pee 🤢

I didn’t know the Church of England was this based

Meanwhile her face is ‘WTF is this thing?!’

A genuinely interesting read, and well written

Reply below with a ‘tut-tut’ to do your part for justice. Do it for America!

Tut-tut

Hey look, he’s doing that thing you all already knew he was doing!

The entrant from any new country must do Carpool Karaoke with James Corden. Can’t think of anything more cringe right now