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I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way! You look super cute and super sad. If you aren’t already, you could cosider dating a girl who could provide some affirmation and help with beauty and such. From that photo, everything seems physiologically perfect, but I do get a certain vibe that is consistent with the things you’ve said. If you want some advice from random people here, I have some pointers:

• The emo/goth look does nothing to make you less depressed
• Try dyeing your hair
• Try wearing lighter colors
• Smile! :)

You look great! I hope fascist fashion isn’t the new thing. I want to wear my electric blues, fishnet gloves, tights, and microskirts.

You look amazing! And you look quite dressed up by Oregon standards. Is that considered business-casual?

If they’re attracted to me as nonbinary would be almost as validating as attraction to me as a woman. People who call themselves gay or straight seldom adhere completely to their orientations. Today I became friends with another transgirl, one far prettier than I am, and I would fill any gender role to be with someone like her, and I have compromised my gender by butching it up before, and it was a worthy sacrifice. My desire is greater than my self-respect.

That’s awesome! I “dated” a straight guy once, meaning I stopped by to give him a blowjob. I personally like the vibes of gay guys and would consider appealing to androsexuals as a fem a victory, as that would mean my appeal transcends appearance and gender.

And don’t forget, transgirl boners only come from true love

Thank you, you’ve given me a lot to think about.

Good to know! I heard you do that at 40. A bit unrelated, but since we’re talking ages, is there an ideal age for a double orchiectomy? You’ve presumably already had it done, but in the back of my mind there is a possibility of global collapse and I’ll need strong bones to survive, even without medication. I was thinking of timing it with an early menopause to minimize the risk of harm in that scenario, but maybe earlier is better.

PSA levels will decrease significantly to undetectable levels, and reported values need to be interpreted in this context

As someone on HRT with currently no plans for a vaginoplasty, I’m assuming this means the best way to tell if I have cancer is anal examination UwU

Just tell her you’re transitioning. She’s queer, she’ll get it. I told all my queer friends as soon as I started hormones and I’ll give all the gory details of my gender and sexuality to any adult who’s curious. You got this.

Ah ok, then it could easily all work seamlessly one day.

fwiw F-Droid has an app called Blorp which apparently supports Lemmy and PieFed

You look great!

Regarding your tech question, afaik lemmy and piefed are separate protocols, so if you have a multi-protocol app, crossposting might work better. (EDIT: Or, I’m told, they’re both ActivityPub-based and meant to work together, but at this point in time there are differences in the details that complicate things a little.) Otherwise an instance would need to be compatible but run a bridge that handles that. I wish these things were better connected, thinking specifically of the divide between ActivityPub and Diaspora, as well as Bluesky’s formerly defederated state.

hugs Congratulations on surgery and I wish you a speedy recovery. I wish more people saw penises as accessories rather than tools. I love dicks and I don’t require them to perform for me, but that terrible expectation contaminates so many otherwise-enlightened relationships. Pre-transition I dated a girl who asked me to fuck her vaginally on the first date because of apparent expectations, but we found out later that neither of us actually wanted to do that. It would be liberating to be with someone who can keep outside expectations on the other side of the door. You have a lot of wisdom that I’m sure you paid heavily for. You’re good people. <3

As someone who has long had an exceptionally high sex drive, hormones account for only half of it. Never wanted kids, not into cis women, venomously jealous of grindr kids.

Thanks for your thoughtful response. Transgirls really are the best. I like your kink-informed perspective, as that is how my sexuality works as well. It’s hard to find people who get it, so I tend to stick with whoever’s down regardless of their top or bottom roles, and I’m either forced to act like a man or constantly subjugated. (One would think a tf would have the decency to not call the other “daddy” but they were hot so I didn’t let it get to me.) It takes considerable effort for me to top bc my blood pressure is low, lingering heteronormative framings of my gender role, and a little trauma. Using my dick is the hard part (no pun intended). But yeah, under ideal circumstances I would love to have long switchy sex operas with a fellow tf. <3

I was having a rush and he was jealous of my busy schedule despite that it turned into a red flag for the roomie / his partner.

Sorry, I’m having trouble parsing that phrase. You had a busy schedule and that’s a red flag in relationships, or the roommate’s boyfriend’s reaction to your busy schedule…?

Ideally, yes, no one partner takes priority over another. Good luck finding even one as an early-stage late-transitioning transfem where I live. I’m ready to cut my heart out and set it on a plate for someone, but if I need more than one partner then chronology alone may create a hierarchy that’s out of my control, as happened very recently and was toxic because of the first guy I dated. One bad apple will fuck you up. Good on anyone for having any kind of relationship and surviving in this crazy world.

I think you’re trying to help. I’ll just say that cis people make relationships with those of different genders asymmetrical. I don’t. I throw out the heteropatriarchal mindset along with any notion that a relationship is some kind of trade or whatever you’re implying by “in return.” I’m nobody’s girlfriend, I’m a doppelganger for my hypothetical partner and will take exactly what I give.

Yes, casual dates are good. I need lots more of those. And cuddles.