Why is this article written from a third-person perspective?
26 March, 2024 — Tether Operations Limited (Tether), the largest company in the cryptocurrency industry, announced a strategic expansion of its AI focus,
Bitch, YOU are Tether! I’m reading this on tether.to! Who you think you foolin’ mate?
V0ldek, the largest poster in the Sneer industry, announced a strategic expansion of his big swinging dick. This significant move underscores V0ldek’s dedication to advancing Sneer accessibility and efficiency, further solidifying his role as a pioneer in shaping the future of Sneering.
With a dick length exceeding 100cm (according to V0ldek) and a reputation for strategic investments in diverse subreddits, including SneerClub and Buttcoin mining, V0ldek continues to demonstrate his commitment to calling out bullshit.
posted on v0ldek.com by V0ldek
“How was your day sweetie?”
“Oh nothing much I just positioned myself at the forefront of innovation while seamlessly integrating solutions into market-driven products. Then I leveraged technology to address real world challenges while actively engaging with the broader community via ecosystem contributions by utilizing top tier talent to advance the field with these innovated products. Cutting edge technology domains to revolutionize every facet of our privacy being basically --no big deal”
Also can we talk about the pear image on their job posting?
There’s something unsettling about it that I can’t quite put my finger on. Actually all the images. Like the weird outer space bubble office one where the pears ended up looking like Dragon Quest slimes or something?
Also also: do not put important information about your job posting inside of a PNG image with no alt tag. Unless you want to drive away blind appli-- ohhhhhh.
regarding the unsettling: the colour toning and “light level” is badly done, for the light in context. they set up the pear to look like a hologram (I guess?), except they fucked up the detail against the very setting they put it in: looks brighter and brighter towards the back, with some detail diffusion, with the one in the front just being “max detail but highly grainy”
does look fucking wild though
extreme wtfery re the job posting
Paolo tends to post colours (red or green) to signal upcoming pumps or dumps. Now you might think that was cartoon simplistic, Paolo must not be very bright, and bitcoin must be quite stupid really, and you’d be correct. Anyway, he has a particular fondness for pear emojis for his green “pump coming” symbol.
fat juicy decadent Really Sweet…
pumpspears
it’s also too consistent - they’re all copypasta with no variation per pear besides size
See, all this is what academic journals are supposed to provide: pear review.
brava
The key point about this is: Tether never does a damn thing without a gun to its head. So I’m wondering what the gun is here.
Acausal trade with the robot god. Obviously it lost a lot of dough trusting in tethers.
Thus (the foundations of) my directional guesses
Bit late on this grift shift. Wonder what could possibly make them want to look at something other than shitcoins. It is a Mystery.
(But legit, wonder if they’re doing this out of regulatory blast radius fears, or trying to milk different suckers, or…)
I and various others who follow Tether CANNOT work out where the fuck they’re going with this. Like, what the fuck even.
The have a firstly and a lastly, but no inbtweensly in their description.
Also - “setting industry benchmarks for innovation, utility, and transparency.” hahahahahahahahahaha
transparency: a word meaning we can see right through you
inbtweensly
sorry for this, I’ve just been on the internet too long, but this is such a rule 34-y word
I hope it gets more usage
Jumping hype waves worked for Sam Altman, so we can do it to.
