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#womeninmalefields is describing common situations and phrases that women experience and turning them upside down by switching genders.
The analogy to this one would be a man telling a surgeon to surgically tighten a woman’s vagina after giving birth. This is a common and disgusting joke.
Common and disgusting, but unfortunately not always a joke. You probably know this but for the benefit of others who may not be aware, the Husband Stitch is a real thing that used to be pretty commonly done regardless of what the woman wanted and often without her foreknowledge or consent. It’s an extra stitch or two placed when sewing a woman back up after a vaginal tear or episiotomy during labor. The purpose is to make the woman “tighter” so her husband can still enjoy having sex with her even though she’s given birth, which is staggeringly misogynistic and cruel. And it usually results in really painful sex for the woman because her vaginal opening is artificially small plus now it has inflexible scar tissue. It’s a horrific thing to do to a woman, especially after giving birth.
still enjoy having sex with her
If you need that to enjoy your partner you don’t deserve them. That disgusting
Thank you for providing additional information!
Yep, a useful comment. I had no idea about such a thing.
… Jesus fucking Christ…
To add to your “for the benefit of others” explanation, this is also not a historical relic. It’s still happening.
I work with refugees and a lot of women escaping fundie warzones are living with variations of this nightmare. So much mutilation, as little girls, preteens, post-giving-birth… Infections are common, tearing is common, and sex is torture. I’ve been doing this job long enough that I recognize the walk.
Unholy fuckery! This makes me glad to live in country, where to get an operation you need to visit 9001 doctors and get 100500 approvals.
Jesus Christ, what kind of sick person comes up with stuff like that?
After the mother gives birth to a healthy baby boy, the father leans to the doctor and whispers “how long until we can have sex?”. The doctor replies, “I clock off at 3.”
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I worked for a man that thought it would be a funny thing to say soon after the delivery.
Look, I’m a guy. I laughed, until his (now ex) said that he actually said it.
I mean come on. It’s funny as a joke, you don’t ACTUALLY say that to a delivery nurse, my god.
Yeah, people who act like it could never be funny are insufferable and people who actually do it are psychos.
Men 🤷🏻
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Ok but in this case it’s men, specifically. That is what the hashtag is about.
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Good on you.
It’s not generalising tho, these women describe situations they have experienced.
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When this was invented, the majority of doctors were men.
It’s not generalizing if it’s true.
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Huh, and here all the men I know have never even the slightest bit upset about broad generalizing statements about men because they are secure in the knowledge that the statement doesn’t apply to them… Sounds like a skill issue tbh.
This statement doesn’t apply to me. Still, when I am constantly lumped in the same category as rapists, sexual predators and any or all other demeaning terms, it does start to affect my self-esteem and make me doubt myself.
Just like when you look at social medias and all the women are perfect. You know it’s a tuned photo with a lot of work behind it. But you see it all the time : on your phone, TV and ads in general. And it does affect women, even if the beauty standards are irrealist, and humans come in all size and forms.
This is the same principle in the two cases.
So what is your point?
What is your smug, dismissive attitude achieving?
I know this statement doesn’t apply to me, but it still hurts me. Just the same as any generalisation.
I’m sure you’ll say something about privilege, and I somewhat agree, but someone having privilege does not make it okay to completely dismiss them and group them in with shitty people for things out of their control.
And again, rhetoric like this is one of the reason that young men are moving away from progressives into the hands of the alt-right. If you want things to get better and want men to be better, the first step is to not be an asshole to them for no reason.
Not just a joke. It’s a thing that used to be more common but is still sometimes done.
I had a doctor straight-faced tell an entire class of college students about it, and how it was a good thing. This was within the last 15 years. I would bet it is still far more common we’d want to imagine.
Thanks for explaining it, wouldn’t have understood it otherwise.
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Thanks for explaining it
Jesus christ, it feels like everyday I learn a new dreadful horror about American life. How the fuck have we not run out of these creepy facts yet? The country is soo fucked up, I swear to god… It’s honestly hard to belive it’s a real place, it didn’t really sink in how much of a shit hole it is until I saw it my self… It’s a twilight world where pain is a virtue for some reason.
Wait, was/is that only a thing here‽
Edit: misread. I thought you asked what this was about. Yeah, I’m sure it wasn’t just here.
Men would sometimes have doctors add an extra stitch to women after childbirth to make them tighter. I think I’ve even heard sometimes doctors did it without concent of either party. Some women didn’t even know it was done until they had complications and found out.It’s called the husband stitch and it is exactly as horrid as it seems if not moreso. Hopefully a dying trend.
One of America’s most popular songs is about eldritch gods living under the Appalachian Mountains.
i dont get it :<
somewone pws explain the joke to me
Not sure if it was ever actually done or just urban legend but there used to be something called “the husband stitch” where an OBGYN would add another stitch while repairing an episiotomy (when a woman tears a bit giving childbirth) supposedly to make her vagina tighter. A lot of things there don’t add up, but that’s what the joke is about.
Oh, it’s real. This was offered for my sister-in-law.
Not too long ago, this was also “offered” in the case of my sister.
The extra yucky part is it was offered to her husband without even her knowledge or consent.Husband stitch that doctor’s mouth so they never make that suggestion again. Men should not be allowed near OB.
“I can punch you in the face so you need the stitches” would be my answer.
Although odds are I’d only come up with it a few days later in the shower.
Yikes.
It’s not a joke nor a myth.
Worth the read.
If someone was wondering, there is nothing NSFW in that post.
Jesus fucking Christ. There are some real monsters practicing medicine.
Why do people think it’s an urban legend when women describe how they’ve been medically and sexually abused? 😐
Why is your comment so adversarial when previous commenter literally said they weren’t sure?
That’s not the same as dismissing women’s accounts so please don’t equate them
I didn’t mean them specifically. I assume the reason they’re not sure is because they’ve heard people call it a myth before, as have I. And I think it’s shitty that people do that.
Circumcision, fgm, the so-called husband stitch… wtf, people? If you’ve got genitals you’re happy with it seems a challenge just to keep them intact against the lunatics who want to chop and stitch. What is wrong with humans?
Husband bad. Good old Boomer Humor.
This isn’t boomer humor, it’s highlighting a misogynistic practice by flipping gender roles - pretty non-boomer imo.
Oh, right! It’s only boomer humor if Wife Bad.
Way to fail at detecting sarcasm while being sarcastic 🤦
I’m devastated. Y’all really teaching me a lesson here.
It’s clearly making fun of boomer humor. 🙄
“Clearly”
You’re right. “Clearly” is relative to the effectiveness of your brain cells, I understand your particular frustration given what your brain cells have produced in this conversation.
For reals. I’m mid-30s and I only remember hearing about this when I was younger. I’d completely forgotten about it, and never would have asked for or suggested it happen.
Good job bringing it back to the forefront so misogynistic men can know of it and use it to torment a fresh, new generation of women.
If your partner jokes about having surgery done to you without your consent, just leave them–whether you’re a man or a woman.
Probably even more dangerous in the back tbh
??? so he cannot defecate properly? I get the point, but this makes no sense.
To make him tighter when she pegs him, clearly
It’s to highlight something fucked up that’s sometimes done on women after giving birth.
Quoting another comment in the thread:
the Husband Stitch is a real thing that used to be pretty commonly done regardless of what the woman wanted and often without her foreknowledge or consent. It’s an extra stitch or two placed when sewing a woman back up after a vaginal tear or episiotomy during labor. The purpose is to make the woman “tighter” so her husband can still enjoy having sex with her even though she’s given birth, which is staggeringly misogynistic and cruel. And it usually results in really painful sex for the woman because her vaginal opening is artificially small plus now it has inflexible scar tissue.
Right, I’m just pointing out that it’s a bad meme. I understand what this is about.
The meme is fine. The point is this would never be done to a man, so it shouldn’t ever be done to a woman.
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The adding “rule” makes anything cool rule.
