My two year old adopted nephew must have had some bad experience while playing in the bubble bath because for two months straight he fought and resisted and cried whenever trying to convince him to get a bubble bath. His Grammy has been giving farmers baths with baby wipes this whole time.
Well today I (his favorite uncle) decided to try to convince him to once again get in the tub.
“Ooh stinky Ricky needs a bath, do you want to get one”
“No.”
"Awwh don’t you want to play with bubbles and draw on tub with crayons? What about TOYS? Do you want to play with uncle SmokeyDope while you take a baaath? Huuh?
His little mind takes a second to process the query
“mhm…”
“Oooh wooow! Alright let’s go play, let’s go PLAAY!”
incomprehensible shrieks of transcendent happiness “bye bye, bye bye, bye bye!”
He gets up and starts running to the stairs towards bathroom while gesturing me to follow. At this point Grammy and I are like “okay this is happening” so we got his little butt to finally willingly go for a bubble bath. I spent over half an hour playing with him like drawing on the tub, splashing him with water, making goofy noises that kind of thing.
This kind of thing is not really in my comfort zone I never gave him a bath before but im willing to try if it helps the situation. So today was a success but now were unsure whether he’s back on the regular grammy time bath routine or if playtime with uncle SmokeyDope is now a non-negotiable update in the terms and service agreements.
I don’t feel very good about myself most of the time so when I’m able to make change for the better in someone elses life or add even a little bit of positivity to a situation it makes me feel like im not wasting space. Today was a good day as uncle SmokeyDope :)
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Heck yeah, awesome uncling.
Every day I’m an aunt is a good day. Keep making a difference, pal. The little guys need extended family.
Given my experiences with kids, be prepared to be non-negotiable for awhile, but that’s not a bad thing. Says that the time with you makes the kid feel safe enough that whatever the problem might be aren’t bad enough to say no.
And if it is a trauma, you’re helping work through it, in a way. Maybe not the core experience, but at least helping disconnect part of the experience, reframe it as something not traumatic.
Dude helping little kids move past things like this is so rewarding. Good job dude, you’re a great uncle.
Uncle Smokey Dope is the name of Op’s bong.
Well… It wasn’t. Say hello to the other newly christened Uncle SmokeyDope
Hello
I just wanna hear OP’s nephew actually say “Uncle Smokey Dope!” I bet it comes out sounding hilarious from a two year old.
Convincing a child to do something they don’t want to but need to is a skill to be proud of. One mine hit 6-10 months they started to have their own opinions. I’m super proud to be the master of putting them to sleep, as difficult as they can be.
Nice job! Super smart to make bath time fun time
Grammy has been giving farmers baths
What’s a farmer bath?
Farmers baths are when you wash up without running water or a shower. A pan, water, soap, washcloth and lye is all that most people had to work with before modern plumbing. For a toddler this means lots of baby wipes maybe a touch of soap around the stinky and dirty spots. For an adult it means baby wipes and definitely a touch of soap round the the stinky and dirty spots, followed by a spritzing of distilled white vinegar or alcohol for sanitizer, followed by another application of baby wipes and soap.
Sounds similar to a navy shower:
- turn on water just enough to get your body damp, then turn it off
- lather up your washcloth/loofah with soap, then lather yourself up
- turn water back on just long enough to get the soap off
We call this a camping shower.
Washcloth/sponge and a bucket of water, typically. Soap optional.
Great job! This is huge for the three of you!
Because you mentioned it,I suggest stocking up on toys and bath colors for when you want to remove yourself from the process. Crayola makes various bath color things. (Bath Dropz are great.)
The crayola bath color crayons were what we were playing with, they’re great. Thanks for the advice!
Congrats, that’s a big step! My kid loved (well still loves even as an almost teenager) things you stick to the side of the tub and pour water through.
Similar to this, if you don’t have anything like it yet for bath time. Great to do together and something he can do on his own too.
Rad! Enjoy the success high, but you’re going to want to keep chasing that dragon. Don’t be bummed if it fails to work a second time. They adapt, and sometimes they are having a bad day and even the coolest uncle will hit a wall.
Helpful things for bath:
- toys that squirt water
- bath bombs with toys inside
- the drawing / painting stuff you mentioned
- hand mirrors for seeing themselves covered in suds
- cups and buckets for moving water around
- suction cup toys for the walls (water spout things, marble race courses, etc)
Also, if you’re new to working with kids, timers that visually count down (not digital, ones that have a colored wheel of how much time is left) are helpful for starting / ending tasks. Also tricks like betting them they cant wash their own hair, or you can finish a bath before the end of the timer can work well. And on nice days with a rain shower, go soap up out side. do it with them. clean off from the hose, they love it.
you’re doing great! keep it up!
Also, a can of cheap shaving cream to spray on the tub wall. It’s a fun, soothing distraction for a little one. I used to sometimes defuse my kid’s tantrums like that.
Do you want to play with uncle SmokeyDope while you take a baaath?
That sentence gave me chills, but still, well done!
you’re a good uncle and he’s lucky to have you, thanks for sharing your story
Aww this is so sweet! Being the favorite uncle is quite the honorific. I have a 2 year old of my own and with daily parenting I try to be conscious whenever we have family and friends over that a baby is a bit foreign to them and they don’t know always know how to interact with him/ react to him.
Best advice is let the little one lead the way with things and encourage them always with what they are doing (as long as it isn’t dangerous!).
The other side of the family want nothing to do with him sadly so im left as the only uncle he knows and therefore favorite by default ( hey ill take it!) Thanks for the advice 👍
I read SmokeyDope’s lines like he was a Mr. Meeseeks. I think it was the “stinky Ricky” that made me think of Rick and Morty, then the “Awwh” and “Oooh wooow!” that cemented it.
Crayons in the tub?
They are more like water based paint sticks that they can draw with that can wash away (fairly) easily
“Easily” is definitely a stretch with the ones we were just given
The thing with toddlers is that you dont ask their permission for anything. You force them to do the right things in life so they can be self sufficient. Awesome work but next time just put him in the bath its a toddler.
Nice work. You managed to drill down right to he core of how to get a child to do something: make them want to.
Children at that age can’t reason, everything is an emotional response. In you case the child hadn’t reasoned his way into refusing to bathe, so he couldn’t be reasoned out of that position.
You replaced the ‘bad’ emotional response to bathing with a positive one about play.
You cracked a code that a vast number of parents never do. Well done.
