I was once explaining to someone how a group of my family is part of a “religion” which is really a cult. I was saying how females (being inclusive of the adult women and young girls) in this cult have no body autonomy and how fucked up it is. I was interrupted to be informed that the term female should not be used. They interrupted my explanation of how my fucking family member is being forced to get pregnant over and over, how the girls are being treated like property or pets, because correcting my use of the word female was more important. I will never forget or forgive this moment. I hope this anecdote highlights priorities for everyone that has such a strong opinion about this. Also, I imagine if I wasn’t male, this would have been a nonissue. I don’t know about anyone else, but I actually do want equality. Double standards are outdated.
Context is important. In your case, you’re using female to designate a biological characteristic - aka, a reproductive ability that the cult is specifically exploiting. Some men, especially online, use “female” in a way where normally someone would use the term “woman”, in an attempt to dehumanize women. It’s unfortunate that the person you were talking to couldn’t tell the difference, but as for never forgiving them, maybe a gentle correction could be more warranted?
I will never forget or forgive this moment.
(emphasis mine) Moments where someone’s heart was in the right place are the most forgivable for me
If I could choose my reaction it mighttttttt be akin to….
“LOL did you just knee jerk reaction b/c ‘female’ is word of the week on fascist social media? Well thanks for caring but this will derail us for a thirty-second language & comprehension lesson…”
“Hey, bigots say this and it makes people sound like bigots when they say it”
“I used that word correctly and was told that it made me sound like a bigot. Maybe think about that?”
Cool, maybe get mad at the bigots who ruined the word for people rather than the people saying the word was ruined by bigots.
It’s like when people get mad at the r-slur being a slur now. Like, no, it was always intended as an insult based on medical language. It was always going to become a slur.
Now people are using the word female to both alienate and other women in their language and to “sound smarter” when showing bigotry. Also, you were probably told to not say it because they knew you were better than the assholes who say it in a demeaning way. Maybe… think about that?
Cool, maybe get mad at the bigots who ruined the word for people rather than the people saying the word was ruined by bigots.
A scorpion wants to cross a river but cannot swim, so it asks a frog to carry it across. The frog hesitates, afraid that the scorpion might sting it, but the scorpion promises not to, pointing out that it would drown if it killed the frog in the middle of the river. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: “I am sorry, but I couldn’t help myself. It’s my character.”
good luck getting the bigots to change.
Who said anything about getting them to change? Getting mad at people because the word changed instead of getting mad at the people who changed the word is my point. There’s a reason why that word was targeted as a dog whistle, but it is still a dog whistle now and acknowledging that it is isn’t some moral wrong.
No stupid questions time: This kind of lurks in the back of my mind and I sometimes find myself hesitating to use the term “female” to refer to female figures in any context. I don’t have to do that, right? Like, would “woman lawyer” be better than “female lawyer” in contexts where specifying gender might be relevant? I would conversely prefer the term “male lawyer” in the same context and “man lawyer” sounds just as odd to me as “woman lawyer”. “Lawyer who is a woman” is a little verbose, too. Am I overthinking this?
Sorry but “woman” is not an adjective and its use that way is grating. You wouldn’t say “man teacher” and it sounds wrong. So does “woman lawyer” or “woman voter.”
The neckbeard/incel thing is using “female” when “woman” would be acceptable and more common, like “look at these females” or something. It doesn’t mean we have to abolish the word “female” entirely from the lexicon.
Yeah, that seems to align nicely with the instincts I outlined in my comment. No need to apologize. Thanks!
My personal rule is female adjective is okay, female noun is not.
From what I googled, it’s especially bad when you pair “man” and “female” together, which makes sense to me.
My personal take is to just use lawyer, when gender is irrelevant. This may get your audience confused when using “she” in the next sentence. But it could help weaken the stereotypes about genders if we did this more often IMHO.
If needed “female lawyer” or “lawyer who is a woman” are good otherwise.I know, use the worst of all options, “lawyeress.” /s
When we’re driving, my wife often acts as a navigatrix
Waiter = Waitress
Lawyer = LawyressLawyer femoid 😒
lawyeoid 😏
They’re just called lawyers, unless they’re lawyering with their genitals and their sex is somehow relevant.
There are obviously still contacts where the distinction is important.
Such as discussing discrimination, statistics, etc
Maybe from an equity perspective, but not from a lawyer perspective. So you’d probably say “we need more women in law”.
Because the topic is women. If the topic was lawyering, then sex won’t come up.
Immediate scenario that came to mind here is
The client demanded any other public defender, as long as they weren’t black or female.
“70% of lawyers suffer discrimination in the workplace but only 30% of lawyers face discrimination.”
“single female lawyer fighting for justice and also being single,”
That’s a deep reference. Very nice.
I’m a nostalgia sniper today
Yes you’re over thinking this. A woman lawyer is just a lawyer. Same how a male lawyer is just a lawyer. Unless the gender of the person is important, leave it out of their job title. Use the word actor to describe both men and women who act. Flight attendant for men and women, or receptionist, or any other word. The vast majority of time you can leave their gender out of the description and it’s fine.
I work in statistics and we never use girl of woman, only female. The line is vastly different in age and meaning depending on culture, religion, law, or heritage. Even in western societ, 13, 16, 18, and 21 are all valid before tipping to 40, 50, 60, 65, 68, and 70 where the term can be prefixed with some form of adjective.
It’s old-fashioned. Just say female and every culture/society understands you without confusion or insult. Save you embarassing/insulting people while travelling too.
“Men and females.”
Yes that’s the issue, if you use them inconsistently. Males, females. Men, women. Same for boys, girls actually. Saying boys and women or men and girls can seem belittling to the other.
I consistently used males and females in some contexts but I’ve noticed that it often still comes across as weird when talking about humanoids.
“You let them wear clothes?”
Cool it over there. I look like that but I don’t call women females. That was very unwarranted.
Not fair to the military veterans.
They got “That’s not a woman, it’s a female soldier” drilled into them.
That may be but if they would shorten “female soldier”, wouldn’t they refer to her as “a soldier” and not “a female”?
Yes, we heard “that is just a soldier” as well. They just didn’t like the terms lady or woman, you had to use “female”.
it’s an adjective, not a noun. but I hear it everywhere, mostly on newscasts and other broadcasts. so I just call em ‘broads’ (/s)
You can’t call chicks ‘broads’ anymore, its not civilized. (/s)
I prefer to call’em dames.
“Female” is fine as an adjective. It’s when it’s used as a noun that it becomes a problem. But that’s not a new rule or anything.
Consider when someone says “Black people” vs “the Blacks”.
Knew a guy that got the one-two punch of being a soldier then being a cop. Would describe people like “male, Caucasian, average build” when we were out at bars.
The language culture is probably the strangest part about the military, and probably the police force as well. I know the military lingo was hard to stop using, but I couldn’t imagine going from one institutional language to the next.
It’s a useful skill to have if you’re able to master it, language switching. You can establish credibility/experience or lack of depending on your audience and your intentions.
I’ve never served but sometimes people assume that I have because of how I carry myself. So I’ll avoid phrases and sayings consistent with military personnel, maybe toss in words used in movies and video games to give the impression that my knowledge of the military stems mostly from those.
There are a lot of things unfair to vets, we can add this to the pile
Can we stop with this for once?
Men are male, women are female. These words are interchangeable, and whoever decided one should be somehow bad or derogatory is deranged. Claim the words for what they are. Use “male” and “female” in appropriate context.
Both male and female are supposed to be used as an adjective. For example “male model” and "female model’.
The problem is using female(s) as a noun. For example “I met 5 females in class today” which is just as weird as “I met 5 males in class today”.
This meme is almost certainly a criticism of the latter and as you much more concisely put it “Use “male” and “female” in its appropriate context”.
The reason this meme is phrased like this is because many incel groups use “female(s)” as a noun in a deliberately derogatory manor and people don’t do that for men.
Also clarifying the point like this would make the meme less snappy. Though I think they could put “as a noun” at the end
People do use them as nouns. For example, in statistical/scientific context: “Among males/females…”, or outside: “I’m a male”
And I certainly saw the word “males” being commonly used, which is pretty much why I’m so baffled by the need to banish its counterpart.
Incels may call women whatever, but actively banishing the word because it was appropriated by some group of weirdos isn’t gonna help - rather, it will only deepen the flawed interpretation of a very regular and normal word, assigning context to where there was none.
I’m a proud male. Why can’t there be a proud female? This only means she is a woman, after all.
The language of scientific literature is not the same as the language of everyday use. There’s a reason grad programs have entire courses dedicated to scientific communication.
I am a grad student, and I often wish we wouldn’t make too much distinction. It’s just creating problems out of thin air.
I do wonder what you’re proud of exactly, when you’re proud to be male. Proud of the genitals you were assigned at birth?
Nope, not proud as in “yay I’m so happy to be male”. Proud as in “I’m a male and there’s nothing bad about it or the wording around it, I’m happy to be who I am without shitting on anyone being different”
Sorry mate, not how language works. Men is a noun, male is usually an adjective, they aren’t interchangeable. Depending on the context, it can be weird/wrong to call groups of people by an adjective (exp. illegals, poors, disableds). Hearing men call women “females” sounds weird af dude, you’re proving OP’s point.
Why?
One can call a group of men “males”, and no one bats an eye. But once anyone uses “female” to refer to a woman, it’s a shitshow.
No one does that
What if it’s “the perp is a 5’4” female heading west"?
Honestly, a handsome specimen of the Ferengi species. I hear he was even the Grand Nagus briefly. And look at those lobes.
Also does anyone find it odd how often society calls grown women girls while they stick to men when referring to men without a second thought? I still do it when I’m not paying attention.
Stereotypically, women always strive to look as young as possible, so calling one a girl can be seen as a compliment. While men, stereotypically strive to appear mature, hence calling one a boy can be considered an insult.
I don’t disagree with you that society does think that way, but I disagree with the sentiment so much.
I’m 33 and afab. I accepted being called a “girl” until I was about 23 (probably not a coincidence that that was the age at which I graduated college), but it started chafing at like 16, even though I didn’t have a good alternative at the time (because I agree that “female” as a noun feels gross). If someone called me a girl now I would correct them without hesitation in basically every scenario outside of a eulogy or wedding speech.
I really wish there was a better option. I don’t really like “woman,” but it’s better than gal, lady, dudette, chick, or girl imo. I’m perfectly fine with guy or dude, especially in plural, but I’m probably an egg, so that colors my perspective for the singular use a little.
I honestly don’t see this changing any time soon because there are biological incentives behind both stereotypes. And, anecdotally, my gf (40+) will pout if in some context I refer to her as a woman, and be like “noooo, I’m a girl… :(”. Semi-jokingly, of course, but only semi.
Same as the other reply, I don’t disagree. Do I think there’s mal intent? Nah. But I’m sure this has an unconscious effect on how we perceive women. Besides lots of women look young without even trying, I think with the improvement of medicine and public health, people in general are just looking younger nowadays so we should nip this habit in the butt.
Fun use of “boys” has been really popular for quite some time. Me and the boys. Boys will be boys.
Hell, a business or industry run primarily by men in their fifties and older can be referred to as “a boys club.”
I hear almost daily how the older secretary and HR women call the workers “boys”, I think it’s quite endearing but tbh it doesn’t have the same history of belittling really.
‘Guys’ even tho the singular is used to mean a man, is really an a-gendered plural
Those are specific phrases but yeah I getcha. And you could argue, like some other replies said, sometimes “boys” is used in casual ways, “girls” is used as an equivalent to “guys”, it can mean “gals” too. Fair points but I do believe people have some kind of aversion to “woman/women” and won’t ever use if in a fun context. it’s just an uptight sounding word for some reason.
As a man, this has legit always bugged me. We use “girls” in contexts that we would NEVER use “boys” in, even when they’re the same age.
I have to keep reminding myself of this. I’m in my late 20s and I still slip up when referring to myself sometimes.
Anecdotal but most people I hear using ‘female’ are women.
If they have big ears they are either the big bad wolf, or ferengi in disguise
Gotta love how “”””radfems”””” love the term “adult human female” too.
Trans women are adult human females.
True. It’s just a slogan in the same way that “being White is all right” is or “All Lives Matter” is. It’s not supposed to mean what it means. It’s a code.
Like - once, 4chan (/pol/ and /b/ primarily, early mid 2010s) that it would be funny to make drinking milk a racist thing. It was explicitly discussed how this would make people upset about people drinking milk, and how this would be funny. The alt right weirdos in on the joke get the joke, leftists are befuddled and outraged, the stupid conservative weirdos are laughing at the dumb liberals and their cancel culture getting worked up about milk. Same thing with that pinched thumb and index finger “okay” symbol. 14 and 88 have lost their plausible deniability in most spaces at least.
Very similarly, the idea of MAPS was a /pol/ operation that was carried out to delegitimize the LGBT movement. The idea of people identifying with a sexual orientation based on being exclusively attracted to children, to the point of creating a pride flag, was mostly a /pol/ op. This is not to say that there aren’t creeps who did actually identify as such as a consequence of this movement, but it wasn’t a natural movement of creeps.
Language games. The limits of my language are the limits of my world. They mean something entirely different even in just human there.
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Clyden!!!
I refer to them as laaaaydeeeees
haha yeah imagine being ugly lol
Ugly? With those lobes?
