Edit: This is coming from someone with a piece of shit, abusive, negligent mom. Seriously, grow the fuck up, it’s a shitty excuse. Take accountability for yourselves, you fucking crybabies.
Oof, sorry to learn on what you went through. I hope you’re in a better situation now.
I would have imagined part of “growing the fuck up” is forming a support network like a “found family”. In this case, taking accountability of yourself means not outsourcing your emotional regulation to other people, but I don’t see why having someone’s shoulder to cry on is a bad thing if the moment calls for it.
And I do think it’s reasonable for anyone to wish they have a positive parental figure in their life. From what I was reading in support groups of people with abusive childhood backgrounds, they tend to grieve on parents they wish they had (but never got), and it helped them move forward that they have a substitute parent figure to help them stand up on their own.
Getting back to the original image, the OP seemed to assume by default the straight dude is pathetic because of how he reacted to her house’s interior. For all we know, she might have assumed wrong and the dude just likes those things because it jives with his preference.
Don’t mind @NotASharkInAManSuit. Your take is mature and the internet needs more of this :)
Regarding the image in the OP, complimenting things that you like in another person’s house is just good manners. You want others to feel comfortable with hosting you. This woman might also just have been able to do some lovely things with simple artwork and rugs.
Or… maybe the guy felt sorry for her, seeing how she clearly lacks decorating skills, so he politely lied. Even though normally, he’d never compliment anyone on a <$70 knife set :-) anyway, it’s a shit post
If you have to write a thesis to attempt to justify your arrested development and mommy issues as a normal and acceptable trait then that’s a good sign that you need to grow the fuck up. You are nobody’s responsibility but your own, learn to wipe your own ass.
Dude, you’re using the most aggressive language towards others in this whole thread. You’re not exactly making a convincing argument that things are as simple as ‘growing the fuck up’ given how you’re refusing to engage in sensitive meaningful conversation.
I think you’re reading things into this thread that aren’t there. Nobody is saying women should be forced to mother grown men. You’re entirely right that women shouldn’t have to bear the brunt of someone else’s unresolved childhood trauma.
But there’s a massive difference between expecting a partner to fix you and simply seeking a support network from other people. And your partner is a natural part of that.
Expecting people to just “grow the fuck up” by sheer willpower ignores everything we know about psychology and trauma recovery. It’s counter productive. If someone is struggling with an abusive past, telling them to wipe their own ass doesn’t help. Instead, point them toward resources like therapy, support groups, or journaling. These actually do help.
Maybe grow the fuck up.
Edit: This is coming from someone with a piece of shit, abusive, negligent mom. Seriously, grow the fuck up, it’s a shitty excuse. Take accountability for yourselves, you fucking crybabies.
Oof, sorry to learn on what you went through. I hope you’re in a better situation now.
I would have imagined part of “growing the fuck up” is forming a support network like a “found family”. In this case, taking accountability of yourself means not outsourcing your emotional regulation to other people, but I don’t see why having someone’s shoulder to cry on is a bad thing if the moment calls for it.
And I do think it’s reasonable for anyone to wish they have a positive parental figure in their life. From what I was reading in support groups of people with abusive childhood backgrounds, they tend to grieve on parents they wish they had (but never got), and it helped them move forward that they have a substitute parent figure to help them stand up on their own.
Getting back to the original image, the OP seemed to assume by default the straight dude is pathetic because of how he reacted to her house’s interior. For all we know, she might have assumed wrong and the dude just likes those things because it jives with his preference.
Don’t mind @NotASharkInAManSuit. Your take is mature and the internet needs more of this :)
Regarding the image in the OP, complimenting things that you like in another person’s house is just good manners. You want others to feel comfortable with hosting you. This woman might also just have been able to do some lovely things with simple artwork and rugs.
Or… maybe the guy felt sorry for her, seeing how she clearly lacks decorating skills, so he politely lied. Even though normally, he’d never compliment anyone on a <$70 knife set :-) anyway, it’s a shit post
If you have to write a thesis to attempt to justify your arrested development and mommy issues as a normal and acceptable trait then that’s a good sign that you need to grow the fuck up. You are nobody’s responsibility but your own, learn to wipe your own ass.
Dude, you’re using the most aggressive language towards others in this whole thread. You’re not exactly making a convincing argument that things are as simple as ‘growing the fuck up’ given how you’re refusing to engage in sensitive meaningful conversation.
Women aren’t your mommy, grow the fuck up.
I think you’re reading things into this thread that aren’t there. Nobody is saying women should be forced to mother grown men. You’re entirely right that women shouldn’t have to bear the brunt of someone else’s unresolved childhood trauma.
But there’s a massive difference between expecting a partner to fix you and simply seeking a support network from other people. And your partner is a natural part of that.
Expecting people to just “grow the fuck up” by sheer willpower ignores everything we know about psychology and trauma recovery. It’s counter productive. If someone is struggling with an abusive past, telling them to wipe their own ass doesn’t help. Instead, point them toward resources like therapy, support groups, or journaling. These actually do help.