I keep seeing this content that’s “men are so stupid and inferior and awful” and it’s grating on me.
Like, yes, there’s definitely a strong toxic subset of men, but most of use are just… normal?
I’m in my mid 30s, when the women aren’t around we’re mostly talking about kids (those who have them), hockey, finances, house stuff, and weird health issues. Depending on the group, how stupid politics/government shit is lately.
I don’t know. It feels like the toxicity that came for incels is coming at women hard these last few years. Reddit really pushes this stuff lately.
It’s really prevalent, but it’s unfortunately hard to call out, especially irl.
I upvoted because the two panel underneath is mocking the ragebait post.
Not voting either way is also an option
OK
I will say i have zero appreciation for “nice” things and the house looking cozy or whatever. If it were up to me I would live in a bare apartment with everything painted white and minimal furniture. And there’s nothing wrong with that and i have no reason to change.
Of all the things that are wrong with me and perhaps other men, this is just not one of them, it’s just a style preference, there’s zero morality involved. Whoever doesn’t like it can just not fuck with me, just like i dont fuck with decorations.
Because for years, people could be as shitty to “men” as a general category as they wanted to be, and no one was allowed to call it out. Anyone who did try to call it out got labeled as a right-winger or a misogynist or a redpilled men’s lib chud.
People literally started saying “misandry” is a misogynistic dogwhistle. As if calling out shittiness and hate implies that you’re actually peddling shittiness and hate for the other.
Maybe for someone who believes the only way to combat hate is with hate, then calling out hate might be seen as hateful. But if that’s the case, then it reduces life to a zero-sum game, and if that’s the case then it’s anything goes, survival of the fittest. I for one don’t believe in such a bleak vision of the world.
But for years any attempt to call out misandry was met with vitriol, usually proving the point but no one seemed to see that.
I’ve been saying for years that these double-standards are toxic and destructive. I’ve been destroyed on reddit multiple times for it, back before I got permabanned. I’ve had multiple arguments over it here too, and people just dismiss me as “sexist” for it, even though they’re the ones being sexist.
So honestly, it’s kinda nice to see a post that says, subtextually, “What this person said is very shitty” when showing a misandrist tweet. And it’s nice to see people agree that it’s shitty.
It feels like the world is waking up a little, like it might finally be ready to look itself in the mirror and realize that no hate is excusable.
amen brother.
don’t worry though, tons of posters here who are leaning hard in on the misandry and hate, and think anyone who points out all this sexist bullshit just hates women. because if you ever call a lady out on her hateful ways, you just hate women.
Yeah, it’s funny, if you say women are perfect you’re called a sexist. But if you say women are flawed, you’re called a sexist. Even if you point to a specific woman and say she’s perfect or flawed, you’re called a sexist.
I guess I just won’t talk about or to women. I woulda thought that would be sexist, but apparently it’s the only way to avoid being called sexist.
haha, yeah this is why a lot of people are just giving up on dating game. you can’t win. everything you do is wrong.
buy her flowers and hold the door on a date ? that’s sexist! don’t buy her flowers and don’t hold the door, that’s sexist! so on and so on. a lot of folks are just… actively looking to be miserable and unhappy, rather than just set reasonable boundaries and expectations of what they want from the opposite sex.
in 2026, I’m supposed to support my potential partners by respecting their independent and strength, but also I’m suppose to be their provider and protector… and I’m supposed to be able to randomly switch roles at the drop of a pin based on how she is feeling at that very moment. and if i do not, I’m a horrible no good shitty man who doesn’t make her feel cared for, or I’m a horrible sexist asshole who doesn’t respect her independence and strength…
oh, by the way, if you explain how ridiculous this whole thing is to someone who expects it, they either call you a misogyny, or they just tell you how you ‘are not a real man’.
just like… why bother? pick one, or the other… or how about neither? just chill out and enjoy life and stop agonizing about everything! god forbid men and women just enjoy each other’s companionship without the endless need to measure every aspect of each other.
Yeah, I feel you. Especially the part about switching roles based on jow she’s feeling at the moment.
And she doesn’t even need to communicate how she’s feeling or what she expects from you, but if you expect her to communicate that then you’re entitled and a misogynist! And if you don’t read her mind and act accordingly then you’re either “not a real man” or you’re a misogynist.
It’s like, yeah… I’d like to have a partner and enjoy some companionship. But if this is the way things are going to be, well, my cat is far less confusing…
i have know plenty of women in long term happy stable relationships.
none of them are like that. they tell their husband/boyfriend what they want/need. and he gives it to them. and they are both happy. and he does the same with her. they also set… ground rules for the relationship and follow them.
it’s almost as if they see each other as reasonable people and act like reasonable people… and they are happy with that.
and the ladies who do the opposite, tell you that these happy ladies are all lairs and miserable and etc, or they just ‘got lucky’ and found husbands are just wonderful and perfect and flawless. shit’s wild, but the key factor is these women think they are not responsible for their themselves, that’s a man’s job to do for her.
Yeah, there’s a lot of stigma against single guys. Men in relationships are “approved by women” (and also, ironically, men who sleep around get this stamp of approval too).
Anyone else gets dismissed a priori as “man, therefore dangerous” and categorized as such, creating a vicious cycle that’s nearly impossible to break out of unless you’re lucky enough to find a partner.
Women in healthy relationships might have healthier views of men, because they have an example of a man who isn’t shit. Single women tend not to have the same perspective though, and after sleeping around and getting used and hurt (because it’s liberating and empowering, but when it blows up in her face it’s the man’s fault, or rather “men’s fault” in general, and the next guy she meets is going to take the blame just as hard if not harder than the man who actually abused her. Yet if a guy says “maybe don’t give your body to abusive men,” he gets called a ‘nice guy’ disparagingly, and an incel, because “women can make their own choices.” Like, yeah, they can, but why act surprised when those choices have predictable consequences?)
So it’s like people in relationships today were all raptured out of the dating pool before the apocalypse struck (around covid). I see so often people saying how grateful they are to not have to worry about modern dating. And the dread that people have after a divorce when they need to re-enter the dating scene in this crap.
But people will also gaslight you and say there’s nothing wrong with modern dating, and that you must be the problem, totally ignoring the millions of people who are having the same experience. It takes a certain level of privilege to be able to ignore it.
Oh, but when women have issues dating, then it’s a different story. Then it’s just because men are terrible and that makes the dating scene terrible. No other possible explanations, end of discussion. Yet when men have issues dating, then suddenly “there’s nothing wrong with modern dating! You’re just a misogynist who feels entitled to women’s bodies!”
Like, that’s a really big leap from “Man, I wish I could find someone to love and spend time with.” All they hear though is “Man, I wish I had a woman to own and treat like property.”
It’s just like “There is no gender war in Ba Sing Se” whenever a man talks about endemic misandry. But then suddenly “Ugh, I hate this stupid gender war” every time someone mentions misogyny. So there’s both a gender war and no gender war, depending on who’s expressing their grievances. Like trump bombing Iran during a ceasefire and then accusing them of endangering the ceasefire when they retaliate…
I’m so sick of the gaslighting. Yeah, it’s just so much easier to not talk to women. They exist in their own world, at this point, and I’m neither welcome in it nor welcome to invite them into mine.
Its so much worse here then in reddit. At least reddit has some subs that are somewhat male focused and leftist. Here a women only sub n keeps popingnup on my feed all but telling me the world would be a better place if I died.
I blocked the “women’s only” subs because I didn’t need such blatant misandry popping up in my feed that I’ll get banned if I respond to saying it’s wrong. Because “no boys allowed” I guess.
On reddit even if I blocked a sub it would still show up in my feed. Spuck fez.
I guarantee if someone made a men only community or even one focused on social issues affecting men the instance hosting it would be defederated by all others.
you are being logical and thoughtful and acknowledging a complex reality.
the people who push this shit live in a black and white world where all men are scum and should aspire to not be men. these are also the same people who will complain there are no ‘manly men’ left.
they are gender supremacists living in a delusional reality of their own making. they simple hate men for existing, just men who hate women hate them for existing. except for when they are sexual fantasy objects.
I first read that as “horse stuff” and was wondering if horses were suddenly in now
Typical mysandrists. Dumb as fuk
Art on the wall? Rugs? I’m from Eastern Europe, best I can do is rugs on the wall
Wall rugs are art
Rugs on the wall, art on the floor?
When the carpet are the drapes
I’m Kurt Wenner, best I can do is paintings on the floor
Thanks! I’ve put a bit of work into the place lately
Pretty difficult to say, I know.
But then we wouldn’t have rage bait for engagement.
I’ve been over to places and complimented people on them, and they become hostile to you.
because in their warped mind, your compliment is an veiled attack on them. and they think you liking their rug is you telling them it isn’t good enough or something.
this is typical of massively insecure people.
Rage bait is rage bait.
i’ve had women come over to my place and do this. and then tell me it made them uncomfortable because men are not supposed to be able to cook, clean, let alone decorate.
An example of women perpetuating toxic masculinity
no, when they do that they are just ‘expressing a preference for a manly man’.
and if you tell them how problematic (and self-defeating usually) their ideas are, they tell you how you just hate all women and you have no right to criticize their ‘preferences’ and clearly you are insecure and pathetic.
this same technique is also used to justify rabid racism against non-white men all the time. It’s always amazed me how women hide behind the ‘patriarchy’ and their ‘oppression’ only to rapidly perpetuate the rapidly racist and sexist nonsense they happen to believe in. I’ve also been on some date with women of color who do this, it’s not like restricted to white women.
What I will say is the women who do do this… are typically privileged and wealthy types whose main dispute with life is they are NOT privileged and wealthy enough… and that it’s an evil and oppressive society of awful men that is preventing them form making an extra 50-100K on their already 300K salary.
You’re just describing shitty people in general.
Birds of a feather, as they say.
What a manly man? I kill and butcher my own meat. But also cook do laundry and clean. Or is manly gym bro muscles.
Vanity muscles ONLY. Anytbing else will TURN you.
deleted by creator
keep being you and i promise theres women out there to appreciate itfully retracted, your honor lol
the women who appreciate it are not attracted to me sexually. or they are already married. i have had plenty of female friends who admire my home and my cooking. but i’ve never been in a sexual relationship with a lady who saw it as a positive, only as a threat.
the issue with dating that people really struggle to be honest about, is most of us have limited options in potential partners, and it’s either accept what’s available, or date nobody. i know exactly who would work for me to date, but sadly none of those women find me attractive, and the one who do find me attractive, are the ones who i have absolutely nothing in common with, and who think my lifestyle choices and values make me a closeted homosexual.
and yeah i’d rather be alone than be in another relationship with someone who constantly makes jokes about how i’m secretly gay and i’m going to leave her for a man, or what a pussy I am for being human and being upset over events like the death of my parents. but that’s the type of woman who finds me attractive and wants to date me.
i have seen your comments about dating in the past and i gotta say you seem like the problem. some of the things you have said are straight up misogynist. sorry if i dont believe this is the norm
Right, it’s me that hates women, and it’s not you that’s sexist and making sexist generalizations based on a total lack of personal experience with men, which you do not regard as human beings, no doubt.
you know who also tells me I hate all women? every shitty abusive girlfriend I have rejected or stood up to.
and what’s funny, is the women i meet who weren’t that way, don’t tend to call me misogynist when I reject or refute them.
As a man with successful and healthy relationships who has read a lot of your bullshit throughout a lot of these kinds of threads, you are 100% the problem person in your life and relationships.
Stop blaming other people for your shitty behavior. You’re the one behind the wheel.
which you do not regard as human beings
What a pathetic fuckin tactic. Starting to see like you’re exaggerating and much more of the problem than you’re willing to admit.
you know nothing about me lmao but thanks for proving my point.
you know nothing about me, how is your belief about me legitimate, by your own logic then?
all you really know is i said words you don’t like. you self-reported as never dating men, so I find it kind of ironic that you seem to think you know anything about being in relationships with them.
are you sure I hate women, or is it more that you just hate men, because you don’t see them as people, as you have no personal experience in intimate relationships with them?
So what is their excuse?/ I know lots of women who can’t cook and don’t clean. Don’t know where this cooking thing came from are not most famous chefs male?
deleted by creator
Any excuse to shit on men.
but if men were better people they’d be women. duh.
Well, obviously.
I can see why trans men feel excluded and bullied to suicide by you and all that.
weird. i don’t bully trans men. but i have seen a lot of women who do on twitter and other online spaces.
almost like my comment here was alluding to them specifically, but that would be sarcasm. and that doesn’t exist on the internet.
Telling trans men that they should stay women in order to remain good people is bullying. Assuming that there are no trans men in any given space is a form of cissexism. Many trans men will not appreciate your comment, nor will they appreciate “but you don’t count as a man, so I wasn’t talking about you.”
It costs nothing to put “cis” in front of “man” if you’re trying to punch up at straight people specifically. We both know you know what that word means.
Look up Poe’s law
“It’s just a prank bro” “its just a joke bro” “its sarcasm bro”
These, to me, are merely confessions of wrongdoing combined with a middle finger.
your intentions are pure but your time and energy would be better spent elsewhere
Wow way to take a joke out of context because no place does it say trans men. So should I be offended because the poster is telling me to be a trans women.
if you’re a cis man there is absolutely no reason for you to be offended OR to insert yourself into this conversation. This is not for or about you right now.
But I’m a cis man, EVERYTHING is about me! /s
Like yes, i want a mommy to take care of me but that and me appreciating your house is not related 💀
Generally true though. Society robs us of all joy on purpose. Can’t have shit as a man, because that looks kind of gay.
I’m getting all the stuff society does not want me to.
What the hell are you talking about? You can’t have a rug or society will call you gay?
Yes, that is why the Dude was so annoyed when he missed his rug.
It really tied his personality together.
He is the world’s dumbest man.
If you have too much decorative stuff in your room, people start to suspect you.
Luckily, what people think, means jack shit to me, as you can tell by all the dislikes I’m ignoring.
You said you can’t have “shit”, which generally means “can’t have anything”.
You live some weird ass fucking fantasy world. Being called gay for having a rug is not common, at all.
There are real societal toxic masculinity thing that affect men, we don’t need this ludicrous made up bullshit.
the rugs are turning the frogs gay or something
Removed by mod
Tough shit. I’m getting all the “gay” shinny shit, and there is nothing you can legally do about it.
I’m getting so much useless vane shit, just to spite society.
Vanes are useful though.
Like a rug?
well it really ties the room together
Ehem… there’s a lot of places where they can legally do something about it… sadly. Agree on the sentiment, anyway.
Removed by mod
Nobody cares and that was always an option.
Just remember that nothing online is real and this 45 year old Chinese/indian/russian/israeli man masquerading as a woman to induce social discord won’t be able to affect you!
“Yeah I don’t get it, I just don’t get invited to anything anymore” - this person, on occasion, probably
this is tumblr level insufferable.
hence why it is getting upvoted so heavily, and commented on, and the comments getting tons of upvotes.
it’s almost like… this is what we like. we love the insufferable.
I mean, it’s clearly rage/engagement bait. Ever since Twitter added viewcounts in 2022/23 it’s all bullshit “hottakes” like this, and people fall for it every time.
How did we forget ye olde adage of “do not feed the trolls” within one generation?
because they don’t know there was a time before trolls.
social media has been around for 20 years now man. people who are in college now were born when twitter started.
they have never known a media or internet without this type of shit. if you showed them a tv talk show from like 1985 they would be totally confused at how respectful and not insane the people are. they’d also think it is weird and boring, because for them everything is in media is hot takes and trolling.
every popular social media talking head gets that way from perpetuating stupid hateful ignorant bullshit. and millions of people adore it.
A real charmer here lol
I cannot imagine anyone jumping to that conclusion, this has to be a joke. Like, when I first saw the house of my now husband, the front door opened to a big empty room and my first words were "oh, this is wonderful, it’s so empty it looks like a ballroom, you could have a big party here!'. Like, sure, he cannot decorate and defers to me on home renovations now because he always likes what I design (I design, he has veto power) but how is that dysfunctional? He was just fine with the open space, it worked and a house is for the people who live there. And a big empty space is such a flex in a way, like look - I have more house than I need. Guys aren’t waiting around hoping someone comes and fills that up, they are enjoying the space, right?
If someone compliments your home, I just can’t see getting mad about it.
I purposefully keep my spaces open because I like the feeling. I like not having every inch of my house not need something in it.
I like to think of it like goldfish. A goldfish will grow to be the size of the tank you put it in, and that’s good for a goldfish, but I don’t want to be a goldfish - I don’t need to jam stuff into every corner of the house just because a corner happens to be kind of empty.
Technically that’s not good for the goldfish 🥴 they grow to the size of smaller tanks then it stresses their bodies to not be able to keep going to their natural size. I’d have to look it up what the recommended tank size is but hope folks look it up before getting one!
cool. I find people who live that way to be really offputting and their spaces off putting. it feels like they live in a hotel. it’s creepy af.
i like people who have stuff and their home looks like people actually live there instead of it being staged for sale.
no it’s legit. i’m male and i’ve had women do this to me when they come over to my place. more than once.
a lot of people have awful expectations/low opinions of the other sex and get super angry at you if you don’t live up to their low expectations of them
you think the home thing is bad? try being a dude who is emotionally open and honest. every lady says she wants that, but the vast majority of them are totally repulsed by it. i even had a couple of girlfriends who were so convinced men are all therapy needing emotionally student idiots, that when i was try to communicate they would just ignore everything i said and then tell me how i really felt. because my words didn’t register as legitimate to them, they were women, and they knew the truth about how all men can’t really properly express their feelings and clearly what I was doing was fake/false/wrong or something. it was utterly insane.
people are really really really wedded to their beliefs about gender roles and gender behaviors, to the point of total delusion that when someone doesn’t live up to their sexist expectations, they just reject the evidence in front of their face and make up a fake story to maintain the preexisting belief.
tl;dr: all men are emotional student idiots. if there is a man who isn’t, he’s not really a man, he’s secretly gay. because gay men aren’t men either, or something? i dunno.
I struggled with this for a while. A woman saying she wants emotional honesty does not mean she swears to still find you attractive regardless of what you reveal. She just has a feeling of unease and wants that to go away. So, reassure while maintaining sophistication and intrigue.
There is nothing to ‘struggle with’. It’s hypocrisy, plain and simple.
Racists also hide behind their ‘feelings of unease they want to go away’. that doesn’t make them not racists, it’s actually what defines them as racist, because the difference of race is what causes the feeling of unease.
What you want to do, is just perpetuate sexist hypocritical bullshit. Because it ‘feels good’.
what if there was something more important than someone’s feelings of attraction? or their feelings of attraction were rooted in sexist racist bullshit?
all you have to do is flip this around. if a woman opened up to me about her feelings, and i found that unattractive, would that be acceptable for me to reject her for it and call her names or tell her she is not ‘really a woman’? or would it make me a horrible person?
Someone who jumped to this conclusion was probably looking for a conclusion to their preconceived theory.
That or they are making a joke to dunk on people who do that
My place looks like a laboratory. I’m still on the original primer on the walls. Blow me.
I’m adding wall plates for my Ethernet any day now…
In the wall? I just have the cable strewn across the floor.
Through the wall, I have plenty on the floor.
Any memories I have of cables strewn across the floor of my living space are memories of good times in my life.
I still have cables on the floor. But now they are long enough that they go around the edges of the room behind furniture and stuff. These days a CAT8 25ft cable is like $10.
Dear nerd, whether you are as huge as you claim or not, as long as you’re clean, I’ll gladly blow you.
Username checks out
Like, blow on me after my shower to dry me off? That sounds like it will take hours!
A combination of blowing and rubbing would be faster.
Had nice paintings on the wall, spotless place, no clutter, clean bed all before I got married. No paintings,dirty (not gross ) tons of clutter w/wife and kids.
same. and my car used to be spotless. now it has crumbs and wrappers everywhere.
What is the point of art on the wall?
Is there a better place to hang it? Or are you a sculpture purist?
I mean, what if they really need a mommy to take care of them because they never had one, or if they had, she was a POS?
that’s your fault. you should have made her a better mother when your were 3 years old instead of being selfish and depending on her, check your male privilege.
I think the sarcasm is being missed here
Well they don’t. They need therapy. Don’t put that on women.
Why is this being downvoted? What the fuck is wrong with you people?
This is the most misogynist thread I’ve ever seen on Lemmy
the problem comes from them expecting their partner to be their mommy and also fuck them
why is that a problem, and it not a problem for a lady to want me to be her daddy and also fuck her?
and i notice often, those are the same women who whine about men wanting them to be their mommy.
almost as if all/mostly projection, and anger at the opposite sex for not being fantasy fulfillment objects… and horror of horrors being human beings who are imperfect in almost every way.
Are you really struggling to grasp the idea that women can be just as mentally unhealthy as men?
Those are both problems. Those are both huge, glaring, red flags.
What fucking goblins are upvoting this childish misogynistic nonsense? You’re all fucking daft.
i am not talking about dommie mommies. i am talking abt the very real situation many women find themselves in with men who weaponize their incompetence and expect to be cooked for, cleaned after, and have all their emotional labor done for them.
i saw a study awhile back showing how a woman’s attraction to a man falls the more of this they have to do for them. it isnt just me being bitter, i am lucky enough to not be attracted to men at all so i dont have to worry abt this personally
I’m male. I have found myself in many real situations where women weaponize their incompetence and expect to be cooked for, cleaned after, and have all their emotional labor done for them. The same women who also claimed that they were doing these things for me, when they never did any of those things for themselves, let alone me.
My dispute wasn’t with you. I am simple pointing out how people’s descriptions of their relationships are often completely at odds with the reality of the relationship. I had a couple of gfs where the persons friends/parents tried to talk sense into the person, but they persisted in their delusional of persecution and unfairness. But emotionally, their ‘truth’ was that the one or two times they cooked for me over months/years was ‘everyday’, even though we saw each other like 3 times a week and they always spend time at my place, and yet somehow it was my fault that their place wasn’t clean or something because they were ‘cleaning’ so much at my place… when they never lifted a finger once.
But you know what they did do everyday, for me? Complain about how I wasn’t doing enough for them, how hard their life was, and how they shouldn’t have to work, or clean, or cook, at all ever.
Maybe grow the fuck up.
Edit: This is coming from someone with a piece of shit, abusive, negligent mom. Seriously, grow the fuck up, it’s a shitty excuse. Take accountability for yourselves, you fucking crybabies.
Oof, sorry to learn on what you went through. I hope you’re in a better situation now.
I would have imagined part of “growing the fuck up” is forming a support network like a “found family”. In this case, taking accountability of yourself means not outsourcing your emotional regulation to other people, but I don’t see why having someone’s shoulder to cry on is a bad thing if the moment calls for it.
And I do think it’s reasonable for anyone to wish they have a positive parental figure in their life. From what I was reading in support groups of people with abusive childhood backgrounds, they tend to grieve on parents they wish they had (but never got), and it helped them move forward that they have a substitute parent figure to help them stand up on their own.
Getting back to the original image, the OP seemed to assume by default the straight dude is pathetic because of how he reacted to her house’s interior. For all we know, she might have assumed wrong and the dude just likes those things because it jives with his preference.
Don’t mind @NotASharkInAManSuit. Your take is mature and the internet needs more of this :)
Regarding the image in the OP, complimenting things that you like in another person’s house is just good manners. You want others to feel comfortable with hosting you. This woman might also just have been able to do some lovely things with simple artwork and rugs.
Or… maybe the guy felt sorry for her, seeing how she clearly lacks decorating skills, so he politely lied. Even though normally, he’d never compliment anyone on a <$70 knife set :-) anyway, it’s a shit post
If you have to write a thesis to attempt to justify your arrested development and mommy issues as a normal and acceptable trait then that’s a good sign that you need to grow the fuck up. You are nobody’s responsibility but your own, learn to wipe your own ass.
Dude, you’re using the most aggressive language towards others in this whole thread. You’re not exactly making a convincing argument that things are as simple as ‘growing the fuck up’ given how you’re refusing to engage in sensitive meaningful conversation.
Women aren’t your mommy, grow the fuck up.
I think you’re reading things into this thread that aren’t there. Nobody is saying women should be forced to mother grown men. You’re entirely right that women shouldn’t have to bear the brunt of someone else’s unresolved childhood trauma.
But there’s a massive difference between expecting a partner to fix you and simply seeking a support network from other people. And your partner is a natural part of that.
Expecting people to just “grow the fuck up” by sheer willpower ignores everything we know about psychology and trauma recovery. It’s counter productive. If someone is struggling with an abusive past, telling them to wipe their own ass doesn’t help. Instead, point them toward resources like therapy, support groups, or journaling. These actually do help.
