Ah yes, the Mississippi, the only river with 7 tributaries in the world. Of course.
Brazil is nothing but lies straight from the mouth of Satan.
Its a true fact!
Honestly even the fucking Sava river had more than 7 before it even leaves Slovenia (small country).
Yeah.
And Moses split the Gulf of California to deliver his people to the promised land… Baja California.
That explains why* we have Baja Blast today!!!
I always knew it to be a celestial elixir
And that, my children, is why we celebrate Easter.
Obviously the answer is Jesus was in North America, Joseph Smith was right, and Matthew Mark Luke and John were a bit confused.
Thank Leif Erickson for bringing Christianity back to Europe and the Middle East, then going back in time and having his father Eric the Red build the first church in Greenland
The idea of Americans believing the bible actually took place in the USA is the most American thing I can imagine.
Also, counterpoint: The Bible actually took place in Scotland, specifically in an around the Forth. Here are my arguments:
- The Forth has more than seven tributries, including (but not limited to) The Leven, The Esk, The Water of Leith, the Almond, The Avon, and The Carron.
- Scotland was actually, provably, occupied by the Romans and still has Roman remains.
- Splitting the sea at the Inchgarvie Narrows makes more sense than splitting the Red sea.
- The Islands of the Forth are full of Hermitages, and Inchcolm has a Abbey, why? BECAUSE THEY KNEW!!!
- The Temple was built on a mount and surrounded by walls? St Margaret’s Chapel is on a mount surrounded by walls. Ergo; Edinburgh Castle is the actual site of The Temple!
- America has had no Presidents called “David”, but Scotland has had two.
COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!
You know all the depictions of Jesus do look a lot more like a Scotsman than someone from Jerusalem.
You should start a podcast
Damn, I guess every so often someone independently invents Mormonism lmao
The Garden of Eden is in Missouri!
Okay, the first problem is that the Bible does not say that Nile has 7 tributaries.
It says that (a different river, likely Euphrates), will get smashed into 7.
The second problem is everything else.
The fuck is a tributary? Because there are way more rivers than just those seven that drain to the mississippi. Wikipedia even says that tributaries include streams, and good lord I know even the tiniest of rivers will have many streams feeding it. Declaring a certain size of river/water body to be a tributary is just fucking around with numbers to prove your point.
It is a question of major tributaries. Depending how one defines “major”, about any number is possible. You can probably claim the Mississippi has one major tributary: the Missouri. Or you can claim it has hundreds, of your “major” definition is “mapped running water”.
What do leftists have to so with the Bible?
Also 2000 years ago river systems were different.
This is real dumb
What does this post have to do with leftists?
That’s what im trying to find out
Wait, this isn’t a bit?
I mean, OP is the one saying leftists, ask them
If I were to take a guess its that, being a shitpost, OP was being something called “sarcastic.”
Does that make the chosen people the Appalachian Hillbillies?
That tracks
so, this is what they mean by AI hallucinations?
The Atchafalaya is a distributary, not a tributary.
All I know for sure is that Atlantis was in Iowa.
“The Bible says…” Stop. There’s your problem right there.
It’s been in there for 6000 years. If it was wrong, someone would have corrected it by now
The Bible wasn’t written 6000 years ago. It posits that history began 6000 years ago.
That idea comes from James Ussher, an Irish religious leader, based on his interpretation of the biblical genealogies.
The Bible does not posit that the earth is 6,000 years old. You’re thinking of Dispensationalists.
Oh joy yet another denomination.
That’s a huge over estimation, but yes
I wouldn’t say it’s “wrong” so much as it is fantasy literature. Looking to the Bible for geography is like reading The Lord of the Rings to figure out where the Colorado river is.
There’s a guy who long maintained that the Garden of Eden is found near the Florida panhandle and there’s a park to commemorate this.
The Mormons believe it was in present day Missouri.Edit - Already posted elsewhere in this thread.
