This didn’t happen to me.

  • FRYD@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    106·
    11 days ago

    Leave. Straight up irish goodbye. There’ll be more parties if you don’t have a rep for literally smelling like shit. Toss the underwear on the way home.

    • MrShankles@reddthat.com
      31·
      11 days ago

      I don’t care if I don’t have a ride or how far I would have to walk. Just start walking. Hell, I’m not even worried about being abducted, cause I already shit myself

    • bluesheep@sh.itjust.works
      5·
      11 days ago

      I’ve heard a story about this after party where things were getting a bit raunchy and at some point they where sitting naked on the couch. Apparently one of the guys kind of shit himself and he decided to just not move an inch. When everyone else took a smoke break, he left the party and with that an accompanying shit stain in the couch.

      Needless to say that he didn’t really get any new invites after that

        • bluesheep@sh.itjust.works
          4·
          11 days ago

          Ngl that would’ve been the better choice

          Steal the cushion, wash it at home, bring it back pretending it was some kind of weird drunk prank, no one would be the wiser

          • Steve@startrek.website
            7·
            11 days ago

            I mean, if bro returned my cushion all fresh and clean and apologized for shitting on it I’d be like damn this motherfucker is responsible

  • Dayroom7485@lemmy.world
    63·
    11 days ago

    This didn’t happen to me.

    Imagine OP in the broom closet with shit-stained pants while the party’s roaring outside

    • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@feddit.ukEnglish
      7·
      11 days ago

      Good first step. I’d probs also prewash the undies in the shower, bin them after, and, if possible, get back into my own clothes going commando.

      If I’m with a friend I trust, have them stage a bit of horseplay and play it off like we got wet being crazy in the bathroom. Go back to the party.

  • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io
    12·
    11 days ago

    Drop shit in toilet, wash underwear in sink, hair dryer underwear dry, and continue to party like a professional alcoholic

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      10 days ago

      hair dryer underwear

      This is from someone who has obviously never shat themselves. Underwear is already SOL, do not make the situation worse by then blasting (loud as hell) hot air all over your shit-embedded undies. The smell alone would clear the party out seconds after you open the door.

      Toss underwear in the trash (tie bag if possible), strip, shower, redress commando, and do not shit yourself a second time, unless you are comfortable with wearing your birthday suit.

      • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io
        1·
        8 days ago

        This is from someone who has obviously never shat themselves.

        I kinda want to get this printed on a placard or something…

        Seriously though, some underwear (and some situations) are more washable than others, but you can absolutely get filthy stuff surprisingly clean with just some soap, water, and effort whether you’re in the middle of nowhere and you have giardia or in the middle of a kegger and you have beer shits.

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      10 days ago

      …or someone with IBS…

      If you wring them out real good they’re basically just sweaty level of moist anyway.

      • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io
        1·
        8 days ago

        If you find yourself having to wash your underwear in the field as it were, it might be worth checking out travel underwear made for just that: Ex Officio and Shinesty makes some comfy stuff that washes well and dries fast.

  • palordrolap@fedia.io
    11·
    11 days ago

    Insufficient information for meaningful answer. Are we talking full on mud volcano here, or are we talking about an unwelcome fart nugget?

    For the latter, the nugget’s going in the toilet, I’m scrubbing my undies with toilet paper as best I can and then I’m leaving ASAP because I no longer trust my lower gastrointestinal tract. Yes, I’d continue to wear them. No I wouldn’t use water. I don’t like going commando and I’m not going to wear soggy undies for the sake of a nugget.

    For the former, I’d probably get to and then hide in the bathroom and do whatever I could to clean myself up. Probably try not to cry. If alcohol’s involved, fail at that (though I didn’t start drinking until 18, so this is moot). Soggy clothing no longer optional.

    Then I make an escape checking for any trails I might have left from ground zero to the bathroom on the return journey to the way out. I may take the coward’s way out and not claim any knowledge, but I’d be convinced that people would know it was me, and there’s a good chance I’d be right.

    But I know I’d want out of there ASAP.