I feel a tiny sorry for Ed (not that a guy who has an estimated £400 million net worth needs my sympathy), but he’s just some poor rich schlub who’s been planning to tour around a bit, play some uncontroversial songs, earn another hundred million, mind his own business and then… kapow!.. he’s front and centre in a fight that’s he’s clearly ill-equiped to even interact with.

“Whuh? I just wanted to play some bland music and earn enough money to buy myself a ginger island. What the flip is going on?”