I hate that I do this, but there are friends/acquaintances in my life that I would mask around, and my mental health and general motivation has been very bad lately, meaning that when they reach out to me, I just don’t have the mental stamina – which I usually had – to open that message/take that call and reply to them. We were friends sort of out of inertia from the past, and I was kinda hoping we’d drift apart naturally, but they keep calling me even though I told them that my mental health is bad rn and I’d reach out later. I just want to be left to be depressed in peace rn plus seeing them again I’d have to address my compounding guilt of ghosting them, and that’s something I’d have to mentally barge though. But it’s not their fault that I’m tired ‘of them’, so it’s a tricky situation and I feel like a terrible person for it ending the way it does.
Generally friends that keep calling especially when times are hard are good friends. You can try masking less around them and they will either not care because they are your friend or will be driven away (which while unfriendly, is the thing you seem to want to happen anyway).
If they still reach out knowing that time are rough, they are consciously and willingly signing up for the “OP unfiltered experience”. You should consider if you can use the help.
Maybe telling them your mental health is bad is only making them more concerned / wanting to be there for you? Maybe tell them you need some space instead? If you make excuses for your behavior, you might lead them to believe you’re still interested in a friendship, when you’re really not.
Deeper thing is, you shouldn’t feel bad about being tired of them. Many friendships drift apart naturally, and it’s rarely because of something somebody did wrong. It’s also not always mutual. Now I totally understand not wanting the confrontation. Ghosting is honestly the easiest middle ground.
As always, guilt is the core emotion that makes ADHD so hard lol
Sounds like the solution is to stop masking around them. That will either end the relationship as you want, or it will change the relationship for the better.
Sounds like they might be trying to keep in touch because you told them you’re not doing well. If they know you’re depressed, they probably just want you to know they care about you. People are usually pretty nice. If you really want to be left alone though, I’m sure they’ll understand if you take the time to explain how you’re feeling. I bet they just don’t want you to get hurt
Are you me?
In certain ways, yes 🙃
He can’t be you because I’m him.
