Sounds like she saved you a lot of trouble, lol

We’ll just have to fight to the death over it. Either way, both of us will end up regretting a few things

Oh absolutely not. I would scarf down that entire chicken mess and spend the next two days regretting all my life choices

Yeah it kind of looks like a bundt cake made out of boneless chicken wings

I know you’re just using the same title as the Reddit post, but “Muslim-American” is probably the silliest hyphenism I’ve ever seen

“Dongles per snongle” sounds like a British person measuring the gender ratio at their local pub

Cock-and-ball sink

Yeah, RIP that dude but I’m built different

Make sure to thoroughly check your child’s candy this Halloween. There are a lot of sickos out there putting pure, uncut heroin in their candy and just pretending it’s laced with fentanyl.

heck

Depression jokes are OUT.

Hyperbolic overconfidence jokes are IN.

Sadness CANNOT overtake you anymore. You are simply TOO POWERFUL and TOO SEXY.

or a Serb

Hey guys I found one

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

I think it’s foamy milk for a latte

The tear ducts point themselves toward the harmful content for more effective weeping

Yeah, I really don’t understand taking amphetamines for recreational use. It’d be like putting on my work pants to go to a party.

Put a spooky skeleton under that truck and then we can start talking

Perhaps the only good thing about living in Arizona is that I don’t have to deal with daylight savings time. We have too much daylight here as it is