Firstborn:
She’s a silly Sally, silly Sally, silly Sally
She’s a sweetie kitty, sweetie kitty, sweetie kitty
(On repeat. Usually for long enough for her to have lost and then regained interest in whatever I was doing while singing.)
Wild child:
MISTAAAAAR… boycat…
MISTAAAAAR… boycat…
HE’S MYYYYY… baby…
HE’S MYYYYY… boycat…
(Usually when he enters the room. Still has mixed success in distracting him from choosing violence…)









I just had a dude cut me off by barreling through three lanes of traffic with no blinker and then brake check me through the right turn in an intersection only to go ten miles per hour under the speed limit on the next street and hog the left turn lane.
Fuck cars. Fuck unsafe drivers.