Driving off someone from being online, as a troll, because it gives you a thrill.
This is an awfully specific flex, but it is a flex nonetheless, that people do feel to boast about. Because it’s just another form of a power-trip. Congratulations, you’ve driven away someone who could’ve been a contributory member of a community to make yourself feel better by orchestrating lies, performing witch hunts and huddling with your troll buddies in ways to figure out how to process this.
There’s nothing prideful about this to flex over.
Loud vehicles. What they think is cool is actually annoying everyone else.
A lot of them think it’s cool specifically because it annoys other people. It’s antisocial behavior.
There are folks around here who actually install speakers outside their vehicles. And they’re the worst, cheapest sounding speakers in existence.
They’re tearing down the street, blasting their shitty music out of shitty speakers, suffering from terminal main character syndrome and it’s just sad (and very annoying).
The typical bullshit midwestern work ethic “I just worked 30 billions hours of overtime this week!”
As a European, I thought that was a universal American thing.
Where I come from, the opposite attitude exists - you’re supposed to enjoy life and take it easy.
As an Amercan who has worked AND enjoyed life, my employer over here was less than thrilled with the idea that my life didn’t revolve around my job.
Not entirely the USA, and older generations tended to embody it more.
I have a brother-in-law who picks up as much overtime as he can and brags about how little sleep he is able to get. My response is always: “that’s not the flex you think it is, you exploited bastard!”
Never using their PTO at work.
Going into work sick too.
On a related note, as a parent I think school perfect attendance awards are perverse. Congratulations, we’re rewarding a kid for being a disease vector and being sent to school miserable and snotty, or at best making other kids feel less-than because they received proper treatment and isolation. I would guess that the average perfect attendance kids costs the rest of the school at least half a dozen absences per year.
As a kid I also hated the perfect attendance award because
- My mom was really into it and made me go to school when i was sick
- I was always the only one who was awarded it and the other kids already thought i was weird
- Not as great a reason, but my best friend in elementary school told me that sometimes his parents gave him a day off school so he could do something fun with them :/
As an Asian American, “illness” is a myth that children invented as an excuse to get out of having to go to school. You have to go even if have fucking Covid, cuz you dont have it, you’re just pretending in order to have an excuse to be lazy.
At least that’s how my parents see it.
I mean I can see why there’s a stereotype associated with Asians…
I was a department manager who shared office space with another department. One of the guys from the other department came in bragging that he had been throwing up all morning but was able to come into work. I told him he either needed to sit somewhere else or go home because I’m not risking my health or the health of my colleagues/associates because of his dumbassery. He eventually went home after I gave him a verbal dressing down that his manager backed me up on.
So selfish to come into work sick like that!
Flexing that they have never read any books.
Iliterat fuks. Their, i sed it.
sed 's/sed/said/g'said ‘s/said/said/g’
Command ‘said’ is not found.
sed "s|(sed 's/sed/said)/g'|\1'|"You don’t actually need the
gif the pattern only occurs once.Speaking of weird flexes…
To be fair I’m impressed
I am a little sed now
Your not very good at speling.
Y us many leter wen few do trik?
Coll mee wizerd cuz imma gud spellir
wooosh?
Woooosh
“My daddy told me books don’t make a man”
Sure, but not reading doesn’t make a man either.
Lol I did that as an infant!
“Oh I don’t understand politics” or “oh I don’t do politics” that’s embarrassing.
See also “I don’t see race”.
Ignorance isn’t a defense or a flex, that’s on you.
I say “I don’t do politics”, but that’s because I don’t feel like discussing politics with the person I’m saying it to.
If you’re in my inner circle or are paying attention to my online posts, you know my political stances very well.
That’s just an excuse for racism/nationalism. “Oh, I’m not a nationalist, I just hate all minorities in my country.”
“I don’t do politics” = conservative
There’s a completely different set of assumptions outside the US.
I am very anti-conservative, lol. The amount of good feeling I got seeing the bluenami has been amazing
People who “don’t follow politics” think politics is some niche interest like music or sports, they don’t understand that it impacts every aspect of their lives
On one hand, race isn’t real. On the other hand, things that people believe are real can still hurt you.
Race isn’t real the same way money isn’t. Try saying “money isn’t real” to a homeless person and see how that works out
“I got 12 femtoseconds of sleep last night”
Okay, but like turn off your phone and go to bed, that’s super bad for you and you are intolerable because you’re grumpy from not sleeping
It’s literally misery Olympics with my mom about sleep. I can’t mention anything about sleep without her cutting me off trying to 1-up me.
Me: I got called and had to remote in for work last night, didn’t get to bed until after 4a…
Mom: Welcome to my world I was awake until after 5 and maybe got only 2 hours of sleep so I sat up in bed with my iPad on full brightness reading
Welcome to (peri)menopause.
I read a job listing recently bragging about the company’s AI usage by saying “One of our engineers hasn’t hand-written a single line of code in 18 months”
Like okay dude…
It translates to: “One of our engineer has been stealing code from others without attribution, consent and/or compensation, and did license laundering to it, for 18 months”.
Anti-intellectualism.
I don’t trust all these scientists! They want to trick me and do something bad for some reason. I don’t understand what’s really happening because I can’t fathom anyone I don’t agree with being smarter than me.
wut u meen, i am dum an porud!
Pretending you don’t know how to use a computer or a smartphone nowadays. It’s not the 70s/80s/90s anymore, you look stupid. Same with books as if they were boring devices for nerds.
Wait, why would someone pretend to not know how to use a PC?
Even my grandmother knows how to use a smartphone and iPad and she’s in her 80s
Or they got an iPhone 10 years ago but still treat it like they’re an early adopter.
Bad/illegal driving. You contribute to an unreasonably high crash rate to be 2 minutes faster, good job.
The thing that was drilled into me is to drive predictably. No sudden lane changes, stay in the fast lanes if you’re going fast and slow lanes if you’re going slow.
It drives me crazy to see people “swimming” in Interstate-speed traffic and I see people do it every day. It’s just a matter of time until every single one of them wrecks, hopefully they don’t hurt anyone else.
One of my biggest arguments for trains is the attachment of ego and strong emotions behind the wheel
Nurses holding their pee and working 4-5x12hs a week. Hon you’re in danger and gonna get real weird bladder problems.
As someone who is fairly physically active, flexes that risk people’s health are especially irritating to me. Training to the point of injury or even through injury is not impressive; it’s stupid.
Similarly when people use momentum to lift weights they can’t actually lift. Like swinging a dumbbell into a curl. Best case you’re getting a similar workout to a lighter weight, just with a weight you can’t actually control if something goes wrong. Worst case you’re just bending your elbow while holding a weight that isn’t really doing anything for you at all.
Actually no, worst case is something interrupts your momentum partway through the “curl” but you try to power through it anyways because you don’t even realize that you can’t actually curl that weight and something along your arm gives, then you drop the weight on your foot (or maybe on the kid that ran by and interrupted your momentum).
That they don’t read books.
I used, to be that guy. Every time I tried reading a book suggested by someone, it was boring for me.
Turns out books were just like movies and tv shows, I just needed to find books I enjoyed and not blindly following trends.
A good book lets you create a whole world in your mind and is one of the greatest, purest pleasures.
A bad piece of fiction that doesn’t engage you or isn’t able to grab your attention is just a boring slog.
I have a coworker who brags a lot about how much he drinks and how little he sleeps. Unsurprisingly, he’s one of the worst at his job.
The wildest part was learning he was 6 years younger than me. I would have guessed he was 10 years older from how bad he looks.
who brags a lot about how much he drinks
It wasn’t until I was aober and in counseling that I realized other people don’t drink like it’s a competition. I wasn’t “good at drinking”. I am an alcoholic (in long term recovery).
I told you that in strictest confidence…
My age, not the other things. I’m proud as hell about the booze and insomnia!!
Had family that would refuse to drink water. Reasoning- “I don’t drink what fish fuck in”. They died from diabetes.
“Salad? You mean rabbit food!?”
I kinda do love saying that sarcastically though. But with the context that I’m vegan and really dislike the sad little side salads that some restaurants offer as their only vegan option. Gimme some lentils or beans dammit!
Lentils? Beans!?
Best I can do is parsley. Oh, wait! I think the bar has fresh mint for their mojitos…
Some dude try pulling that one on me at Publix greenwise. For reference I’m 6’6 and~250lbs. and much more athletic then. Looked him dead in his eye and said “maybe I like my rabbit food.” Dude looked like he hadn’t seen a vegetable on his plate in years.
Water? You mean like from the toilet?
With no electrolytes?
David Attenborough voice: Some creatures are able to acquire sufficient hydration from their food alone. This primate, however, was not one of them.
Did they by chance watch the show “Archer?”
Passed a few years before it aired.
how the fuck did your family live that long?
