Surely that’s a Metroid reference?
I’m glad they edited out all the sexy saxophone music from the film.
Now I want to watch a film noir edit of Alien.
It was a dark and stormy night when our ship crashed. The rain drops glistened in the fires like a lit cigarette. Only a handful of us survived, but we made camp the best we could. Sherry handled the tents, old Joe the wood. Six others scavenged supplies. Me? I just sat there, wondering what ol’ Lady Luck will do to me next.
Soon after that, the killings started. One by one, our companions disappeared, like my ex-wives after a night of hard drinking. Aliens did it, I’d wager. Too grisly for a man, even less so for a dame.
I barely escaped that moon; but ever since then I’ve wondered what it was all for, the guilt weighing on my soul like an empty pocket with a bar tab.
You’re a damn fool, Dick! That’s not guilt weighing on your conscience, it’s an alien embryo eating its way through your heart!
just like my ex-wives. I was surprised there was anything left to eat. But I was realizing I still had enough to hurt
Stop monologuing, Dick! We have to get you to a doctor before it bursts through your manly trenchcoated chest!
I wondered if I would be a better father than mine had been. Given I’d be dead I figured I had a head-start on the old bastard
Oh, Dick…
[Grayscale Splurtching Noises]
