Mars Review of Books is a literary magazine featuring the sort of writer who thinks Moldbug is the greatest stylist to assault the written word and lists their Urbit address. Yeah, it’s a group substack.

“With the sudden death of Sports Illustrated, they decided to take on the responsibility of offering yearly swimsuit editions.”

is Thiel running out of places to spend his money or something

  • @blakestaceyMA
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    178 months ago

    It would be legit funny to have a “swimsuit edition” that just provided old-school consumer reviews of swimsuits, evaluating them for comfort, durability, etc. No models, only graphs.

  • @selfMA
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    138 months ago

    Models:

    Bronze Age Shawty

    Bimbo Ubermensch

    fucking excuse me?

    of course the cover of their first issue is what appears to be an incorrect drawing of the inside of an AR-15. cause there’s nothing more technofuturist than guns and extreme incompetence

    • David GerardOPMA
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      8 months ago

      I almost want to read Justin Murphy on The Network State, but not enough to lift a finger

      I mean,

      • @Amoeba_Girl
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        8 months ago

        ultra-hermetic metamasonic brotherhood

        the neoreactionary movement is a contest about who’ll come up with the most new ways to say “jews”

          • @Amoeba_Girl
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            88 months ago

            it’s the “meta” part that as far as i can tell is a ccru innovation? (which in typical fashion doesn’t seem to mean anything but looks cool and new)

        • David GerardOPMA
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          58 months ago

          particularly when quite a lot of them (incl Yarvin) are also Jews

            • David GerardOPMA
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              88 months ago

              he’s said he’s bringing up his kid with a pile of Jewish culture, so I’d say close enough

                • David GerardOPMA
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                  78 months ago

                  I know from people who know him personally that he quite definitely thinks of himself as Jewish, though how he does that is a different question, yes.

      • @selfMA
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        98 months ago

        it is fucking chef’s kiss that the only reply to whatever the fuck I just read (unauthorized Illuminatus! fan fiction?) is some LinkedIn realtor begging Justin to buy condos from them to use as cult compounds

        • @blakestaceyMA
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          118 months ago

          When the AOE enters the Texas compound, there’s nothing there.

          Just cryptographically locked black boxes. They can take them, but they can’t access or use or analyze them, and we just reboot from backups later.

          relevant xkcd

          • @Amoeba_Girl
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            78 months ago

            can’t get tortured if your in the cloud

            • @Amoeba_Girl
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              98 months ago

              wait that might not be in line with the Sequences

          • David GerardOPMA
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            68 months ago

            “Urbit? Better check the HD”

      • @sinedpick
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        78 months ago

        who the FUCK is John Galt?

      • @gerikson
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        68 months ago

        We descend to an underground tunnel system we built without permits using profits from the apparatus.

        On our underground DIY bullet train, we arrive at the Appalachia compound before the AOE even breaks down the door [in the Texas compound]

        so

        this “virtual enterprise” has managed to build a fucking train tunnel (trains?! how woke!!!) under thousands of miles of private, state, and federal land, without anyone knowing. And what’s the prevent the dastardly crypto-Jewish law enforcement from simply deducing the path of the fucking tunnel, and breaking down the doors on both ends at the same time??

        These people love to imagine themselves as the French resistance, but with the Gestapo being bungling fools, and their every scheme being foiled by techno-deus-exes being pulled from the author’s ass whenever needed.

    • @froztbyte
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      88 months ago

      I looked up both those names. I shouldn’t have.

      You’d think I’d learn by now

      • @blakestaceyMA
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        58 months ago

        And now I envy the me of five minutes ago.

        • David GerardOPMA
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          58 months ago

          how long have you been here

          • @blakestaceyMA
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            88 months ago

            Too long? Not long enough? Either way, every day is somehow worse than the one before.

            • David GerardOPMA
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              68 months ago

              Welcome to the abyss! It sucks here!

              • @sc_griffith
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                68 months ago

                he who posts about urbit should beware. for when you post into the abyss, the abyss also posts into you

                • @gerikson
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                  68 months ago

                  It’s fine, the Abyss only has a comet, easy to filter out.

        • @froztbyte
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          8 months ago

          Welcome to the club! Here’s your complimentary shot glass

          • David GerardOPMA
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            98 months ago

            instructions unclear: attempted to shoot self, which way do I hold the glass to do this

      • @sinedpick
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        58 months ago

        bronze age shawty’s substack really tries to emulate meaningful artistic analysis but falls flat on its face because it’s obviously working backwards from a conclusion. Fascinating.

    • @gerikson
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      8 months ago

      Bronze Age Shawty

      This is the person X/Twitter is underwriting a lawsuit for wrongful termination, after she was exceedingly unpleasant on Shitter.

      https://mastodon.social/@taylorlorenz/112181941606882152

      Also she was fired from Block which is as neo-reactionary a company as you can find.

      Edit here’s more background, via TechDirt

      When confronted about the tweets, Happe lied and said she did not make them. She was then fired a few weeks later. […] Block has every right to fire her because of its own rights of association, as well as simply because she lied to them. Your right to free speech means the government can’t punish you for your speech, but others have every right (their own First Amendment association rights) to want nothing to do with you. And that’s all that’s happened here. Hoppe is facing the consequences of her disgusting speech.

      • @blakestaceyMA
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        108 months ago

        oh

        i lost my cushy tech job because of twitter. the one i worked so hard for in my youth. the one i was going to pull my family out of poverty with. but instead i am a martyr in the culture wars of based capital versus woke capital. i am gaza.

        • @selfMA
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          88 months ago

          this is so much worse than I imagined. I assumed these were normal models who didn’t want to use their regular stage names for this particular contract so the mars review made up some names for them

        • David GerardOPMA
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          8 months ago

          because of twitter

          I understand there was probably some agency on your part chloe

          shawty is a Zero HP Lovecraft character

          • @gerikson
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            88 months ago

            why do I never learn and insist on googling names dropped by D. Gerard

  • @gerikson
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    108 months ago

    Every contributor to the mag has an Urbit handle. Enough said.

    • David GerardOPMA
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      48 months ago

      that’s where the Mars bit came in

  • @swlabr
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    108 months ago

    can’t run a print magazine anymore because of woke

    • @blakestaceyMA
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      188 months ago

      Being photographed in a hot tub is too much like showering.

      • @jonhendry
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        48 months ago

        Depends on what liquid is in the hot tub.

  • @maol
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    28 months ago

    Not sexist at all!