• @CritFail@lemmy.world
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    875 months ago
    • Donald Trump declares peace in the Middle East, despite ongoing Israel attacks
    • Steven Seagal stars in patriotic Russian film as personal favour to Putin
    • FCC attempts to shut down MSNBC on grounds of unpatriotic reporting
    • Another ship gets stuck in the Suez Canal.
    • European countries start national stockpiling of olive oil.
    • qyron
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      405 months ago

      European countries start national stockpiling of olive oil.

      The average european already does that.

        • qyron
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          5 months ago

          For how many years do you stockpile? I try to buy a yearly supply and often get overflow from one year to the next.

          • @MissJinx@lemmy.world
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            55 months ago

            Not years but about 6 months worth. I’m very picky with my olive oil so if I find a good price in one of the brands I like best I’ll buy some… bu I usually alredy have a ton at home lol. But I use it everyday, not only to cook and for salad but also in the bread or the popcorn. My favorite food is Olive Oil

            • qyron
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              35 months ago

              I live in olive country, so I try to buy straight from the producer and bottle it at home and I also use it daily as well, even for baking sweets (olive oil cakes are a thing here).

  • Justas🇱🇹
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    265 months ago

    Chapelle Roan gets shot on stage, the bullet bounces off her armor and hits Donald Trump. He dies but gets resuscitated.

    • Sabata
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      175 months ago

      It misses but he pretends to die poorly, and stands backup proclaiming god sent him back. Whitehouse merch sales skyrocket.

      • Justas🇱🇹
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        55 months ago

        That was the point of my joke. I mean, if after getting hit, the straps failed and the chestplate fell down, it would be a malfunction.

  • @Maggoty@lemmy.world
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    255 months ago

    Mpox and Bird Flu go big and a giant sign appears in the sky, “The planet’s anti parasite medications will continue until fever symptoms subside.”

    • @jaybone@lemmy.world
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      105 months ago

      Bill Gates will work with FEMA to engineer a brain worm that is more effective than vaccines. There will be an “anti-worm” movement where soccer moms buy Russian vaccines on the dark web with dogecoin.

  • NickwithaC
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    245 months ago

    The queerbaiting one is already a half point and it’s still not 2025 yet.

    • M137
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      5 months ago

      Had the same reaction, but I quickly realised I’m happy about my ignorance here. My gut reaction is that it’s extremely US-centric and stuff you’d need to be an always online, mainly MSM, kind of person. Nooooope, thank you.

    • @FindME@lemmy.myserv.one
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      65 months ago

      That was my first thought. My second was that somehow people became interested in the unique behavior of slime molds.

  • @Technus@lemmy.zip
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    135 months ago

    Trump dies but comes back to life

    Technically this could happen if he’s put on cardiac bypass for heart surgery.

    • @Tobberone@lemm.ee
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      55 months ago

      If he does die, do you think the establishment would tell anyone? They’d AI his looks, speech and Twitter posts and claim he’s done appearances on TV for years.

      • @imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        The real question is why the deep state haven’t activated his 5G nanites from his vaccine.

        Probably because 9/11 stopped them. (

  • @whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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    115 months ago

    My wishful thinking. Tierra Whack blows up. Her music is fire and one of the most original artists out there right now. Philly represent!

      • @whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        We out here wildin my friend.

        Fav song?

        Mine is Fruit Salad.

        edit - I just heard her song Black Magic Woman. This work is fucked that is bussin

        Edit edit - now on Meghan Good.

        I’m in 3035 and you’re all in 2024.

        I’m high AF.

    • @tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip
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      125 months ago

      One of the first times I remember feeling old was when I heard people saying snapback instead of (baseball) cap. Things just kept skibiding from there