One thing really annoying that I’ve noticed working in the white collar industry is that some people get a free pass all the time on important things, just because they have kids. For example, in a different team who often has to step away during business hours and becomes unreachable, simply because they have kids. There’s always some sort of excuse with them. Have to go pick him up from the bus stop, have to go pick him up from school because they got in trouble, dance recital during the middle of the day, always something. But when it comes to ordinary normal people who don’t have kids, it feels like there’s a lot more scrutiny. Why do you need a doctor’s appointment in the middle of the day? Why do you need to go pick up a prescription at lunch time, like why can’t you work through lunch?

But also, when it comes to employment, it feels like there’s a lot of preferential treatment for people with children. Oh that person has kids / children! They need the job a lot more. They have a little girl! Clearly they need it more than the the person who has a disabled spouse, because kids are way more important than an adult dependent! We can’t fire this person, they have kids! Let’s choose someone who doesn’t have a family. Like, stuff like this. Why is there so much preferential treatment to people who have children? Is this some sort of utilitarian thing? The least number of people affected?

  • Boozilla
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    1013 hours ago

    I’ve worked at a lot of different places and in my experience it varies a lot.

    Some bosses cut everybody slack. Some bosses are jerks and cut nobody any slack. I would say most of them play favorites with their employees (some are blatant about it, some are more subtle). Some bosses cut the workers with kids more slack. Some bosses cut the workers with kids less slack.

    Anecdotal evidence is like that. It’s emotionally compelling, but doesn’t really tell us what’s going on in the bigger picture.

  • Chainweasel
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    442 minutes ago

    I don’t have kids myself, but I understand that it’s the employers fault they don’t extend the same privileges to me, not the parents fault for receiving the privilege.

  • @WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world
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    2813 hours ago

    I think your complaint is similar to that of non smokers when smoke breaks were normal. What you see as preferential treatment is just how everyone should be treated.
    Also, In my 20 or so years in the legitimate workforce, I have seen parents cut slack and parents get run off because the boss doesn’t like people having other priorities. In my direct experience it’s been a lot more boss dependent than anything else.

  • I would assume cos as humans with empathy for our children hard wired into us to the point that we will kill to protect them (insert some quote about natural selection here). As humans with empathy we can empathise with how that feeling is for others (a feeling a non parent can never understand). As social pack animals we are programmed to ensure the future of the tribe thus the collective protect the young even if the young dont nessasarilly have ur genes. Thus these feeling hardwired into us by evolution may manifest in the behaviour u have witnessed.

    Ie. Without well adjusted and cared for children our society is fucked. And most people realise that.

    • RichieAdler 🇦🇷
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      29 hours ago

      Without well adjusted and cared for children our society is fucked.

      Sadly I’d say that most of those who have children today don’t have a clue about how to raise such kids, because they’re neither well adjusted nor cared for. Some self-centered societies are much worst than others in that respect.

  • @TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip
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    297 hours ago

    That sounded very American. Is this a US specific problem?

    why can’t you work through lunch?

    Seriously, there’s something wrong with your boss or perhaps even the whole company. If you need to get stuff done during your lunch hour, you just go ahead and do it. Why should your boss care as long as you do your job during the other hours of the week.

  • @dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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    5110 hours ago

    The better question is why management is giving you flack? That’s the issue. Not your coworkers with kids.

  • ZoDoneRightNow
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    199 hours ago

    Reproductive labour is the largest segment of labour and entirely necessary to the continuation of society yet is entirely unpaid. Why is that and why do you think that someone contributing to that segment of the labour economy should be treated the exact same as someone not doing that unpaid labour? You say it is entirely their choice yet you benefit from that labour without contributing to it. That is your choice

    • @daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 hours ago

      Earth is overpopulated.

      There’s an argument to be made that the “reproductive labour” is as good for humankind as “extracting oil to keep polluting the atmosphere”.

      Also, most if not all people have kids for selfish reasons, not for society not for others, only for themselves, so cut the bullshit here.

  • @NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
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    1912 hours ago

    Feels like there is more than just 1 answer…

    There’s always some sort of excuse with them. Have to go pick him up from the bus stop, have to go pick him up from school

    First part of my answer: when they have to, then they have to. Raising kids isn’t just always fun, it is hard work too. No need to make it even harder. If nobody has kids, humans dy out.

    Why do you need to go pick up a prescription at lunch time, like why can’t you work through lunch?

    The other part of the answer is just an asshole boss (can’t say it with nice words, sorry, not sorry). As soon as you find a better one, give this one a greeting from me with your shoe print on his backside.

  • magnetosphere
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    3612 hours ago

    It can be frustrating to see, but remember, parents almost never get any actual time off. Go home at the end of the day? Kids to deal with, and perhaps shuttle around. Weekend? Kids. Holidays? Kids. Parents have enormous, constant responsibility, so cutting them some slack is just basic compassion.

    Besides, any decent parent would choose their kids over their job anyway, so being accommodating only makes good business sense.

    • Drusas
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      1211 hours ago

      OP specifically compared having a child dependent versus an adult dependent. An adult dependent also means not having time off. Or, if you have significant health issues of your own, you might not really ever have time off, either.

  • @Kelly@lemmy.world
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    103 hours ago

    There’s always some sort of excuse with them. Have to go pick him up from the bus stop, have to go pick him up from school because they got in trouble, dance recital during the middle of the day, always something.

    I am a single parent and work the same hours per timesheet and get the same allotment of personal leave per year as everybody else at my employer.

    If I happen to use that personal leave to pick up a kid who threw up in their classroom while somebody else uses it to see their optometrist or attend a funeral isn’t really anybody’s business.

    I take one early afternoon each week to take my kid to an after school activity, this puts a weekly 2 or 3 hour deficit in my timesheet that I either make up by working a bit longer on the other days or if the sheet doesn’t balance I make up the difference by spending some annual leave. (I try to avoid using AL like this because I would rather save it for holidays but it is occasionally required.)

    I don’t telegraph all of this timesheet accounting to my colleagues, they will know which day I’m leaving early that term and the rest isn’t really their business. At the end of the day/month/year I have my schedule OKed by my line manager and work the commitments of my contract.

    But when it comes to ordinary normal people who don’t have kids, it feels like there’s a lot more scrutiny. Why do you need a doctor’s appointment in the middle of the day? Why do you need to go pick up a prescription at lunch time, like why can’t you work through lunch?

    If your employer / manager is second guessing your leave thats an issue between you and them and shouldn’t have your looking at your peers with resentment.

  • @echo@lemmings.world
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    6514 hours ago

    in a different team

    Maybe this all comes down to the boss of the other team not being a dick? Life and work are not separate things. A good manager knows this. If your manager is making you work through lunch , not take breaks, not go to the doctor, etc. then you have a manager problem and this has absolutely nothing to do with who does/doesn’t have children.

    • @TheKracken@lemmy.world
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      911 hours ago

      Also depending on where they live making them work through lunch / breaks is illegal without extra pay. Look up your local labor laws.

  • @Linktank@lemmy.today
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    614 hours ago

    Fuck no, if anything you should be punished for bringing children into this world. (The kids shouldn’t be, but damned if they aren’t going to be already anyway)

  • @CCMan1701A@startrek.website
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    78 hours ago

    This might be unique to each parent as well. Some children do require extra attention and it is very difficult to managed work time in.

    With most schools letting kids out around 3pm it’s not easy to keep the children occupied before the work day is finished. This leaves parents either on a work call with kids heard in the background or working late at night al week.

    Think of it as if the person is a caretaker and a full time employee at your company. It’s basically two full times just that happen to overlap during the day.

    I think calling it a privilege is really unfair but if the people are missing work and not meeting deadlines then management needs to step in and work out a solution. Work life balance is hard.

  • @leftzero@lemmynsfw.com
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    46 hours ago

    Having a child is morally equivalent to aggravated murder (you’re intentionally directly causing that person’s death, as well as decades of pain and suffering), so no, breeders shouldn’t be treated differently than any other murderer (though they probably aren’t more likely to murder an already conceived person than the average citizen, which isn’t saying much).

    Of course some people might adopt, and therefore are merely enabling murderers, but they’re statistically insignificant, so I’d say it’s safe to assume that anyone who has children is either a murderer or a child trafficker.

    In any case, no, fuck them, they might deserve to be treated differently, but definitely not in a positive way.

    • @crimsonpoodle@pawb.social
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      86 hours ago

      Dude I think you need a hug. No one chooses to live or die. But I’m glad I’m alive. Billions of years of physics have made us self perpetuating machines. There’s nothing wrong with not having kids. By the same token there’s nothing wrong with having kids. I’ve been through some pain in my life, less so than others I’m sure, but if I had to endure a thousand years of torture for five more minutes of petting my dog I would.

      Both pain and pleasure are all temporary; but if we consider that our lives are on average less violent and longer than those who came before us; it seems that the good parts of life are winning. No all wrongs are righted, there are new evils and old evils.

      Would you deny the hunter gatherer the joys of seeing their children’s first steps though in contrast we know their life will be short, uncomfortable, and painful? If not then I do not see how one can justify denying a modern family the same. We can argue about population control, but on a macro level it is not wrong to have children.

    • Dragon Rider (drag)
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      26 hours ago

      Asking the big questions. Drag disagrees, but appreciates the energy you bring to the table. You make some good points that drag can’t argue with.