There’s no positive way to legalize “work” that is based on one person using another. Sex work by its very nature is not only manipulative, its bribing one person to do something they would prefer not to do, for money.
I worked with quite a few prostitutes (its not ‘sex work’, its prostitution - giving it a prettier name doesn’t do justice to how degrading it really is) years ago and without exception they were doing it because they didnt have any other skills or options and quite a few of them had addictions they needed to feed. It feeds the cycle.
The one organization in town that was highly successful in getting them out of it, gave them a safe place to live and then trained them in things like receptionist skills or basic accounting. Once they had workplace marketable skills NO ONE ever said, ‘oh I missed being used by shady and abusive men’. Ever.
You cant regulate into ‘safety’ something that is abusive by nature. There’s no such thing and the state can’t legitimize something thats illegitimate.
The only people who think thats a good idea are those who haven’t seen the dark side of prostitution. Painting over it with nice ideas doesn’t make it any less seedy, manipulative and soul destroying. NO girl ever woke up one day and said, ‘Id really love to be a prostitute when I grow up’ But they do. Because they’re out of options. So the solution is not to find ‘cures’ its to continue to make it illegal and embarrassing as hell for the men who use those services. Its amazing how shining a spotlight on their activity suddenly makes them go home. I wonder why.
As a guy this is definitely my knee jerk reaction, but I have women friends who seem way more dialed in to the whole sex positive/sex work scene than I am, and I generally just defer to them in this case, cuz it’s way over my head.
And they seem to disagree with what you’re saying.
You are painting sex work as all back alley prostitution, but it is not all like that.
You also have high end escorts, and high end call girls that only deal with rich clients, charging $4000 a night. In those cases the women set their terms, and it is sex amongst consenting adults. Its not a strong arm pimp forcing poor women to work, or a homeless young women needing to survive.
Unless you somehow think sex between consenting adults becomes abuse once they take the $4000?
Unless you somehow think sex between consenting adults becomes abuse once they take the $4000?
No its just soul crushing and degrading that’s all. $40 or $4000 doesnt matter, its still giving up one’s dignity and autonomy and allowing oneself to be used for money. If its so rewarding why aren’t those call girls advertising their great life to the world? Because they’re not proud of what they do, and neither are their parents, that’s why. Yes, it matters.
Find me the pre teen girl that woke up one morning and said, ‘Id really love to be a call girl when I grow up’. They dont. But I would bet you that you WOULD find about 99% of them have been used and abused before they got into that lifestyle. I have literally had a young prostitute say to me, “Well, I’m going to be used anyway, I may as well get paid for it” Does that sound like someone who’s happy in their ‘chosen profession’?
its still giving up one’s dignity and autonomy and allowing oneself to be used for money. If its so rewarding why aren’t those call girls advertising their great life to the world? Because they’re not proud of what they do, and neither are their parents, that’s why. Yes, it matters.
Yeah most of them, if they need to, validate it by marrying their ‘johns’. Transactional marriages are a thing. No less abusive or degrading or soul crushing but to conservative men it is an acceptable way of doing the business. I don’t think you are privy to what all sex workers think of their work. There are definitely some that are in a business they like and want to have. Your squeamishness shouldn’t dictate their legality.
It seems you are having a hangup about sex and consider it demeaning. In that case It’s really not different than working backbreaking labour in a hot field. Both are a contract to use you physically for a sum of money.
There obviously are people that have life struggles and get into sex work, but if you have ever watched a documentary about escorts / call girls, they have the power over men.
And not just anyone can do it because its not about the sex act (like you are stuck on), the person has to have a broad knowledge for conversation, be engaging, understand etiquette for going to shows and events and be able to blend in as a companion. They are a paid professional.
I cant believe that you think I don’t want to spend 12 hours, every other day, being exposed to carcinogens, 600v electricity, and moving equipment, for fun.
One of the reasons it’s called “sex work” is to cover things that aren’t explicitly money for penetrative sex. It also covers things like pornographers, strippers, domination, kink-play, and intimate massage.
It’s not always someone being bribed into doing something that they don’t want to do, it’s sometimes someone being paid because of their skill or appearance.
If prostitution was legal then people could ID beforehand, which should lead to less abuse.
I cant agree more. sex work needs to be kept legal because often times the workers have no other options. Then we have to achieve a level of civilization where no one really has to so it will go away do to our good works. You can’t punish it away.
What about high end SWs who make $5000 a night, who do it because they want to make insane amounts of money, who often have other options and do it not because they have no other options, but because they want to?
It’s never going to go away because some people will still do it even if they don’t have to, but I agree that you can’t punish it away. It just ends up making it more dangerous for everyone involved which doesn’t really help anyone.
Whats wrong with that? The argument was many were not doing it because they want to due to drug issues or having no other options. I agreed that we need a society were folks always have good decent options at life and drug programs to help people wrestling with addiction. Then those folks won’t be in that position.
There’s no positive way to legalize “work” that is based on one person using another. Sex work by its very nature is not only manipulative, its bribing one person to do something they would prefer not to do, for money.
I worked with quite a few prostitutes (its not ‘sex work’, its prostitution - giving it a prettier name doesn’t do justice to how degrading it really is) years ago and without exception they were doing it because they didnt have any other skills or options and quite a few of them had addictions they needed to feed. It feeds the cycle.
The one organization in town that was highly successful in getting them out of it, gave them a safe place to live and then trained them in things like receptionist skills or basic accounting. Once they had workplace marketable skills NO ONE ever said, ‘oh I missed being used by shady and abusive men’. Ever.
is not that the definition of all work?
Whether it is abusive work or not, the workers need rights and support. Otherwise you legitimize more abuse
If it’s always going to happen regardless, would you rather it be underground and more dangerous, or regulated and safer?
You cant regulate into ‘safety’ something that is abusive by nature. There’s no such thing and the state can’t legitimize something thats illegitimate. The only people who think thats a good idea are those who haven’t seen the dark side of prostitution. Painting over it with nice ideas doesn’t make it any less seedy, manipulative and soul destroying. NO girl ever woke up one day and said, ‘Id really love to be a prostitute when I grow up’ But they do. Because they’re out of options. So the solution is not to find ‘cures’ its to continue to make it illegal and embarrassing as hell for the men who use those services. Its amazing how shining a spotlight on their activity suddenly makes them go home. I wonder why.
As a guy this is definitely my knee jerk reaction, but I have women friends who seem way more dialed in to the whole sex positive/sex work scene than I am, and I generally just defer to them in this case, cuz it’s way over my head.
And they seem to disagree with what you’re saying.
Lol
You are painting sex work as all back alley prostitution, but it is not all like that.
You also have high end escorts, and high end call girls that only deal with rich clients, charging $4000 a night. In those cases the women set their terms, and it is sex amongst consenting adults. Its not a strong arm pimp forcing poor women to work, or a homeless young women needing to survive.
Unless you somehow think sex between consenting adults becomes abuse once they take the $4000?
No its just soul crushing and degrading that’s all. $40 or $4000 doesnt matter, its still giving up one’s dignity and autonomy and allowing oneself to be used for money. If its so rewarding why aren’t those call girls advertising their great life to the world? Because they’re not proud of what they do, and neither are their parents, that’s why. Yes, it matters.
Find me the pre teen girl that woke up one morning and said, ‘Id really love to be a call girl when I grow up’. They dont. But I would bet you that you WOULD find about 99% of them have been used and abused before they got into that lifestyle. I have literally had a young prostitute say to me, “Well, I’m going to be used anyway, I may as well get paid for it” Does that sound like someone who’s happy in their ‘chosen profession’?
This reminds me of when I used to work in retail.
Yeah most of them, if they need to, validate it by marrying their ‘johns’. Transactional marriages are a thing. No less abusive or degrading or soul crushing but to conservative men it is an acceptable way of doing the business. I don’t think you are privy to what all sex workers think of their work. There are definitely some that are in a business they like and want to have. Your squeamishness shouldn’t dictate their legality.
It seems you are having a hangup about sex and consider it demeaning. In that case It’s really not different than working backbreaking labour in a hot field. Both are a contract to use you physically for a sum of money.
There obviously are people that have life struggles and get into sex work, but if you have ever watched a documentary about escorts / call girls, they have the power over men.
And not just anyone can do it because its not about the sex act (like you are stuck on), the person has to have a broad knowledge for conversation, be engaging, understand etiquette for going to shows and events and be able to blend in as a companion. They are a paid professional.
Disagree with your dense copy-paste.
I just wrote that. If five sentences is too ‘dense’ for you, you can always put it into ChatGPT and ask it to summarize lol
Nah dingleberry, I’ll just read something that’s actually lucid and sane. Good luck, looks like you’ll need it 😂
I immediately feel sorry for anyone you have ever had sex with.
You basically described every job I’ve ever had.
I cant believe that you think I don’t want to spend 12 hours, every other day, being exposed to carcinogens, 600v electricity, and moving equipment, for fun.
One of the reasons it’s called “sex work” is to cover things that aren’t explicitly money for penetrative sex. It also covers things like pornographers, strippers, domination, kink-play, and intimate massage.
It’s not always someone being bribed into doing something that they don’t want to do, it’s sometimes someone being paid because of their skill or appearance.
If prostitution was legal then people could ID beforehand, which should lead to less abuse.
I cant agree more. sex work needs to be kept legal because often times the workers have no other options. Then we have to achieve a level of civilization where no one really has to so it will go away do to our good works. You can’t punish it away.
What about high end SWs who make $5000 a night, who do it because they want to make insane amounts of money, who often have other options and do it not because they have no other options, but because they want to?
It’s never going to go away because some people will still do it even if they don’t have to, but I agree that you can’t punish it away. It just ends up making it more dangerous for everyone involved which doesn’t really help anyone.
Whats wrong with that? The argument was many were not doing it because they want to due to drug issues or having no other options. I agreed that we need a society were folks always have good decent options at life and drug programs to help people wrestling with addiction. Then those folks won’t be in that position.