And does the SF ever go away?

        • cheese_greater@lemmy.world
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          29 days ago

          Like, i dont get how they (presumuably) view having an orgasm-via-penis-in-vagina everyday as truly and biologically distinct from everyday orgasm-via-masturbation. I dont think your body truly knows the difference in a mechanical sense.

          • meco03211@lemmy.world
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            29 days ago

            Mechanical isn’t the only part being played. There’s hormones too. I’m positive there’s differences there depending on alone or with someone. Whether or not that has any health implications I’ve no idea.

          • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
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            29 days ago

            Having never looked into it, beyond what I come across occasionally on sites like this, I always assumed the idea was that being desperate for “relief” somehow made them more attractive to women, hormonally, or made them more “alpha”? Somehow.

            Really stupid shit that kids fall for, I guess.

      • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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        29 days ago

        Yeah it would basically be an anti addiction approach for me. Addiction runs in my family and we get addicted to everything remotely pleasurable. So I’ve spent my whole life saying no to alcohol & drugs & cigarettes, and since I cant find a suitable companion I have to say no to orgasms too 🤷🏼‍♀️ For me it feels empowering.

    • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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      29 days ago

      Well I’m a woman and I’ve talked to some men too who agree that when we masturbate it tends to make us turn socially inward & diminishes our drive to reach out to other people.

      Whereas sexual frustration compels us to go out into the world with a sense of hunger & ambition, seeking social interaction & activities.

      It’s the lifestyle I’ve chosen because after years of suffering all aspects of this mortal hell we call life, I’d rather feel paragraph 2 than paragraph 1.

      • hesh@quokk.au
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        29 days ago

        Life is about balance. You dont want to be a reclusive masturbation addict, and you don’t want to be an anxious frustrated nofapper.

        • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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          29 days ago

          Yeah but every time I cum alone, it reinforces the alone-ness. I’m sick of self-perpetuating loneliness. Going out into the world with hunger & ambition & angst feels empowering right now.

      • andyburke@fedia.io
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        29 days ago

        This view seems, to me, to be really sex-focused in kind of a creepy way that … if you ask me, might have something to do with denying basic urges.

        You can go out into the world looking for connections that are not sexual.

        • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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          29 days ago

          Without sexual release we’re a bit voracious & on edge but also at peak creativity & ambition; driving us to go out in the world and get shit done. Invent things. Create things. Meet new people with no ulterior motives, already living a wholesome life, and that’s how we can meet people the real way without our hands constantly down our own pants.

          • andyburke@fedia.io
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            29 days ago

            What evidence are you basing the idea that your drive comes from your libido? There are a lot of people out there with low or no libidos who have accomplished a ton.

            Why are you focusing on libido as the source of creativity to the exclusion of a lot of other potential drivers?

            This is what I am saying: the focus seems odd and creepy without lots of evidence for your reasoning.

            • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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              29 days ago

              It’s my own subjective experience. Masturbating is effortless immediate gratification that turns me into a reclusive hermit.

              But every time I abstain for a month or so, I become a real person who participates in life & wants to connect with people. *

              The difference is undeniable.

              I’m not telling you what to do and I’m not telling anyone else in the world what I think they should do. I’m telling you my own subjective experience and my own choice.

              *Yesterday I had enough courage to approach a super hot guy doing pushups on the beach 🥰 I had seen him there before doing yoga in the same place a couple weeks earlier & fell instantly in love because I’m a yoga girl too so when I saw him again yesterday my inner fires were finally burning at normal level, no shyness or low self-esteem yesterday for a change 😄 We chit-chatted, he likes me 💕

              • andyburke@fedia.io
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                29 days ago

                I think maybe you should think through why you feel that way, though. Surely you could decide to go out and be social because you would like to make new friends or be entertained. You’re here, writing out your thoughts, so you’re able to reflect and decide on actions.

          • RBWells@lemmy.world
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            28 days ago

            I am older, and have not found any of that to be true. As a lady, more makes more; more sex makes sex feel better and it’s easier to get off, and sexual frustration does not make me creative at all, just distracted and frustrated.

            There is also physical benefit to sex for older women, I don’t know if it’s the same for younger, but certainly after menopause sex prevents vaginal atrophy and prolapse of internal organs, it’s sort of a use it or lose it situation. Penetration and orgasms are good for muscle tone, apparently. Beyond the obvious benefits of pleasure and relationship building.