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nobody can seem to agree on what a ‘healthy diet’

You’re wrong but it’s OK. Eat vegetables. " Things that are green " if it helps you. Not too much meat, not too much bread and pasta. That’s it, it’s easy. 2 or 3 times a day, not more. Stop eating sugar.

Try to get 30 grams of fiber a day. Limit processed foods. Limit saturated fats.

I eat a lot of salads with avocado. Oatmeal with dried fruit. Beans and rice.

I had high cholesterol and was overweight. Changing my diet fixed these issues and made me feel better.

You don’t have to have a perfect diet (trying too hard to get one ends up being bad for you), you just have to do enough of the things mentioned here.

These two people

Liam

and

Kylie

They both have degrees in this stuff. They focus on easy realistic healthy eating. You don’t have to give up pizza, just eat a little less and add a salad. You don’t have to give up brownies, just add beans for more fiber (trust the process, seriously). You don’t have to give up instant ramen, just add some veggies. It’s really not as hard as it’s made out to be and they both do a very good job showing that.

Mostly by cooking a lot of your own meals, then you know what goes in them. My only cooking stuff that freezes well does limit me somewhat though, trying to cook more day by day in the winter at least.

Given than nobody can seem to agree on what a ‘healthy diet’ looks like

as a side quest I recommend working on how to distinguish credible sources of information from not

I bailed on pasta, processed meats, packaged premade “meals”, and stopped drinking soda when New Coke was released in 1985. I eat meats (chicken, pork and fish) and greens… Mostly greens. Cook at home and generally avoid all the garbage on the store shelves in bright;y colored boxes. Shop the edges of the grocery store - that is where all the fresh food is.

In my opinion, for each meal you should have carbs, vegetables, and protein. Assuming no dietary restrictions. It’s different if you have diabetes, for example

A very simple, though hardly practical rule to follow perfectly is: “Avoid things with ingredient lists.”

Michael Pollan as mentioned elsewhere “eat food, mostly plants, not too much.”

“Avoid the centre of the grocery store” assuming a North American layout (which has regional variations) - the point being that the prepared foods are in the middle, the outside edges are butcher, dairy, and produce.

Some asshole once said, “Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar. Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat.” This is also good advice, despite the source.

Eat vegan, the rest sort of just figures itself out

Healthy to me is lots of salads with different greens and vegetables, small amounts of fish or chicken, and fresh green tea.

doesn’t have to be complicated, dont eat much processed food, eat lots of vegetables, cook for yourself … or my preferred choice, have a chef for a gf who is big into garden to plate i.e from her own garden and/or other locals she swaps with.

Wherever possible, stick to the perimeter of the grocery store. Fresh vegetables and fruit, eggs, dried fruits, nuts and oats, frozen vegetables, unprocessed meats if that’s your thing. The closer you get to the middle of the grocery store, the more processed and less healthy the items are. The candy and chips are usually right in the middle of the store. And for God’s sake don’t eat or drink anything from the shampoo and laundry aisle.

Healthy mostly means you get all the stuff you need and not too much of anything.
So what you need and what you need to avoid depends on your body and environment.

You can try to keep book of all the essential vitamins and minerals in your diet.
Or you research what the body needs and what the commonly acknowledged limits are. Then you can just supplement them in reasonable quantities to make it highly unlikely to be deficient or overdosed in any of them. And that’s what I do.
always be careful to not overdose Potassium, Iodine, or Calcium. Don’t supplement vitamin A. Get β-carotene instead as the body makes vitamin A from it as needed.

Chances are, you get enough protein because it’s really hard not to in an industrialized nation.
But it might be worth to look at the different amino acids and the overall protein intake if you don’t like meat, tofu, or highly processed meat replacements.

If you really don’t eat any fish or mussels regularly, you might want to supplement the omega 3 fatty acids.

The digestive tract needs some insoluble fibers in the diet to not get constipation. But it doesn’t need them every day and not in huge quantities. So if you have the occasional random vegetables in your diet, that should be covered. It’s trivial to know when it’s not enough because avoiding constipation is really all the insoluble fibers do.

What’s left is carbohydrates and fats. Any will do. And if you are in an industrialized nation, you likely got them covered.
But some sugars are really spiking insulin production, stress the system, and can lead to sugar highs and lows. So try not too eat too many sweets or soft drinks in one session.

The last thing is calories/energy. If you got too few, you need to eat more carbohydrates and fats. If you got too many, you need to eat less carbohydrates and fats. But as is blatantly obvious by now that isn’t really actionable advice.
I guess, for undersupply, the solution could be to fatten up the diet and sweating stuff with with lactose if not lactose intolerant. But anyone having this problem in an industrialized nation probably also has more serious problems that cause it.
For oversupply there is no real solution for most people apart maybe Ozempic because constantly fighting one’s own appetite is basically impossible for normal people. Just don’t start smoking to loose weight. It probably works, but it comes with its own problems.