Please dont take this seriously guys its just a dumb meme I haven’t written a single line of code in half of these languages

    • Da_Boom@iusearchlinux.fyiEnglish
      26·
      2 years ago

      Ever wanted to be somewhere inbetween java and JavaScript?

      Yeah, that’s Groovy. Only it’s the wrong groove

    • ALostInquirer@lemm.ee
      8·
      2 years ago

      What makes JavaScript so widely disliked? I know very little of it, and in skimming different stuff I think I’ve seen like a million different frameworks for it, so is that a part of it?

      • smileyhead@discuss.tchncs.de
        16·
        2 years ago

        It was mostly made for simple scripts to embed on a website for animations and handling updates without refreshing whole page. Not to make a full portable client (browser) side app.
        Hating JavaScript is mostly a meme, it’s just a programming language. But its very loose syntax, fact it’s often someone’s first programming language to learn and how most programs written in it nowadays are a hack build on top of a hack on top a hack makes this language easy to laugh at.

  • bort@sopuli.xyz
    112·
    2 years ago

    Latex: Problem --> \def\please@#1#2#3#4{\e@kill#2#3{\me#1}#4@now} -->

    • renzev@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      60·
      2 years ago

      Accurate. LaTeX is great, it makes you feel like you have superpowers compared to “office suite”-style software. But every once in a while you just run into some bullshit that feels like it’s stuck in 1985 and it completely breaks your flow. I remember wanting to make a longtable where text in the “date” column would be rotated by 90 degrees to leave more horizontal room for the other columns. It took me two rotateboxes, a phantom, a vspace, a hspace and 40 minutes of my life to get the alignment right. Would probably have taken a duckduckgo search and three clicks in Libreoffice.

      • voxel@sopuli.xyz
        11·
        2 years ago

        btw what do you think about typst?
        i only used it for simple stuff so far but it seems pretty fun and easy to use

        • renzev@lemmy.worldOP
          9·
          2 years ago

          Never heard of it before, but might give it a try at some point. From the website, it seems like something halfway in between LaTeX and Markdown? Sounds exactly like what I need at times, tbh.

        • PixelProf@lemmy.ca
          5·
          2 years ago

          My two cents, after years of Markdown (and md to PDF solutions) and LaTeX and a full two years of trying to commit to bashing my head against Word for work purposes, I’m really enjoying Typst. It didn’t take long to convert my themes, having docs I can import which are basically just variables to share across documents in a folder has been really helpful. Haven’t gone too deep into it but I’m excited to give it a deeper test run over the next little bit.

      • Odiousmachine@feddit.de
        2·
        2 years ago

        Funnily enough I had a similar problem but I wanted text instead of a date. In the end I used a solution similar to yours and adjusted each cell entry manually for hours. Feels like there should be a lot simpler solution for this problem in LaTeX. Glad I don’t need to use it anymore…

        • renzev@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
          1·
          2 years ago

          u/vox@sopuli.xyz suggested Typst as an alternative to TeX. I gave it a try, and I’m loving it so far. It even has built-in support for the rotated text thing https://typst.app/docs/reference/model/table . I’ve only used it for notes/homework so far, but I’m looking forward to seeing how it fares for more serious typesetting tasks.

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
      27·
      2 years ago

      Eh, your statement is accurate for PHP4 and still relevant up to PHP5.2… We’re on PHP8.3 now and PHP8.0 is now out of security updates. I know it’s trend to hate on PHP but you’ve got to at least update your materials to var-vars… it’s like knocking node for having substr() and substring().

      • bort@sopuli.xyz
        11·
        2 years ago

        trend to hate on PHP

        2 years ago I tried to give a drupal project the ci/cd makeover (i.e. containers, test-deployments, reproducable builds, etc)… that’s when my hate was freshly renewed.

        At this point I think it’s ok to let a dead language die and move on to something else (anything else, really)

  • neidu2@feddit.nl
    89·
    2 years ago

    Perl:

    Problem -> $ @ % <=> <> =()= => ; qw() ])} select(undef, undef, undef, 0.25) =~ tr/.?\w\sREg3xfr0mhe|l/foo/g; $|++ &homebrewedFunction(%$ref, $_ , @_ ) -> solution

    Source: I mainly code in perl. I like it, but I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not a beautiful language.

    I was about to make an entry for lisp here, but I don’t have enough parentheses to draw the path to the solution.

    • MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.comBannedEnglish
      37·
      2 years ago

      https://www.foo.be/docs/tpj/issues/vol4_4/tpj0404-0015.html

      The Perl Poetry Contest - The Perl Journal, Winter 1999

      #!/usr/bin/perl
      #
      # asylum.pl
      # by Harl

      close (youreyes);
      bind (yourself, fast);

      while ($narcosis) {
         exists $to($calm);
         not calm;
      }

      accept the, anesthesia;
      seek the, $granted, $asylum’
      and wait;

      stat ically;

      unlink and listen (in, $complicity);

      for (a, little) {
         system (“sync hronicity”);
      }

    • palordrolap@kbin.social
      11·
      2 years ago

      Over the top tone: “Pretty sure that won’t compile. $EVAL_ERROR modulo what you get from the filehandle called = isn’t an lvalue that can be put through the Goatse operator that I’m aware of.”

      But seriously(?), I’m almost certain that’s not how that would be parsed. = isn’t a valid bareword, so Perl would choke on the spaceship operator not being a term… I think.

      After testing… It’s worse. I think it’s parsing <> as the glob operator and = as a filespec.

      For those who don’t know Perl:

      Because of its appearance, <=> really is called the spaceship operator (at least, when it can be parsed as an operator and not whatever happened above).

      =()= by comparison has unofficially been called Goatse. If you don’t know what Goatse is, find out at your own risk. If you do know, you can see why this particular pseudo-operator was given that name.

      And if you’re still reading, =()= is a pseudo-operator because it’s not actually parsed as part of the syntax. It’s literally an assignment operator = followed by an empty list () followed by another assignment operator =, providing list context to the outside of the equals signs that wouldn’t otherwise be there.

      [Why are you still still reading?] Context is important in Perl. If a function returns a list of values (which is something Perl functions can do) and you try to store the result in a scalar variable, replacing the usual = with =()= will store the number of elements returned rather than the last element of the list.

      • neidu2@feddit.nl
        7·
        2 years ago

        It’s not supposed to be compilable. It’s more intended as a list of weird looking (but valid and useful) perl stuff.

        As for the goatse operator, I’ve mostly used it for counting amount of regex matches.

        Oh, and I forgot the diamond operator. Added.

    • msage@programming.devBanned
      9·
      2 years ago

      I was hired twice to write Perl, both times switched my department to something else after a few years.

      Perl is good for command line processing, and absolutely god awful read-only magic hacks. Nothing else.

    • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
      3·
      2 years ago

      I personally never understood how anyone could find Perl appealing or even “good” to program in, probably because I could never understand wtf the code was meant to do

    • stevedidwhat_infosec@infosec.pubBanned
      25·
      2 years ago

      Idk I still like writing my own stuff purely pythonic when I can. Pythons syntax is the most “fun” and “natural” for me so I find it fun. Like doin a sudoku puzzle

    • huginn@feddit.it
      4·
      2 years ago

      That’s true of basically all problems you deal with in programming. Unless you’re truly bleeding edge you’re working on a solved problem. It’ll be novel enough that you can’t out-of-the-box it but you can definitely use the tools and paths everyone else has put together.

      Part of why I like kotlin as a language. It has so many tools built right in.

      • renzev@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
        13·
        2 years ago

        I was mainly thinking about how so many Rust projects advertise very loudly that they’re written in Rust. Like, they would have -rs in the name, or “in Rust” as part of their one-line description. You rarely see this kind of enthusiasms for the the language in other languages. Not a bad thing by the way! And also there’s the “rewrite it in rust” meme, where people seem to take perfectly functional projects and port them to Rust (again, not a bad thing! Strength in diversity!)

          • CapeWearingAeroplane@sopuli.xyz
            1·
            2 years ago

            For Python I think there’s an actual point though: A lot of Python projects are user friendly wrappers for pre-compiled high-performance code. It makes sense to call something “py<SomeKnownLibrary>” to signal what the library is.

            • calcopiritus@lemmy.world
              1·
              2 years ago

              Well, it’s the same in rust, that’s why I agree more with the first interpretation.

              There is an existing solution in C/C++, just make some binding and call it *.rs

              Both python and rust use py and rs in the same way, to signal that it’s the python/rust version of that library.

              Of course, there are exceptions, but that’s what usually happens.

  • affiliate@lemmy.world
    47·
    2 years ago

    i feel like javascript could also be

    Problem -> solution -> 3 days pass -> all dependencies had breaking changes made -> problem

  • stevedidwhat_infosec@infosec.pubBanned
    44·
    2 years ago

    I never understood this logic:

    “I know nothing about this subject, I’m gonna post a meme (a funny graphic usually about a specific topic, this one outlining the differences between languages) but I know nothing about the subject and will ask that nobody correct me or try to apply rationale here because I choose to be ignorant and have no interest in expanding my knowledge of the world and people around me, I just want people to tell me I’m funny and give me internet points”

    To each their own ig

    • CarlosCheddar@lemmy.world
      20·
      2 years ago

      We need a SeniorProgrammerHumor community. Less jokes about quitting vim and programming languages and more about every day funny issues.

      • marcos@lemmy.world
        10·
        2 years ago

        People tried that on Reddit. We got a handful of jokes, but nobody had time to laugh of them or post new ones.

        • thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca
          8·
          2 years ago

          We had planned to get some memeing done but we had an all-hands right before sprint review, then sprint retro, then there was an “optional” product sync that we kinda had to go to, and then the team social, and that was basically our whole day.

          Thought we might meme a bit at lunch, but there was a lunch-and-learn and it’s not like we were going to skip a free lunch.

      • bort@sopuli.xyz
        2·
        2 years ago

        We need a SeniorProgrammerHumor community

        to get an invide you must have at least 5 years of verifyable lemmy-experience

    • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works
      12·
      2 years ago

      I believe the idea is to potentially induce a brief nasal snort possibly accompanied by a slight upward curling of the lips in those casually scrolling by. In other words, it’s a joke, being posted on a joke community.

      • stevedidwhat_infosec@infosec.pubBanned
        4·
        2 years ago

        A coding humor community, if you gotta post about it, you should probably expect it.

        We’re adults, we can joke about stuff and also talk about stuff… unless you’re not which would still be okay because I wouldn’t be interested in discussion then

    • bleistift2@feddit.deEnglish
      12·
      2 years ago

      I never understood this logic

      You’re looking for logic in a joke.

      Do you question why Donald Trump, the pope and a kid are the only passengers on a plane that’s about to crash?

      • stevedidwhat_infosec@infosec.pubBanned
        4·
        2 years ago

        You’re misunderstanding my text.

        The joke is funny, telling people not to respond because “it’s just a joke” is cringe.

        We can talk about reality and also joke about stuff.

        • renzev@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
          1·
          2 years ago

          When did I ever tell people not to respond? Where am I being ignorant? I told people to not take the post seriously, because it is a joke post on a community about jokes. By all means, have discussion in the comments, silly or serious. I’ll gladly listen in and maybe learn something. Just don’t try to dissect silly things with serious arguments.

          • stevedidwhat_infosec@infosec.pubBanned
            2·
            2 years ago

            It was an over simplification for the sake of dramatic effect in our conversation, not that deep.

            I also was under the wrong impression given this new info, thanks for clarifying. I really wasn’t mad or upset or anything like everyone keeps trying to gaslight me into thinking. Was just pointing out an observation I had…

            Why is everyone wound so tight here in a joke community?

      • marcos@lemmy.world
        5·
        2 years ago

        To the point that I’m doubting the OP’s non-knowledge.

        He must know at least a lot of C++… But I disagree with the PHP one; it always transforms the problem, never leaves it alone. And transforms it very productively.

  • NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world
    41·
    2 years ago

    Python one is accurate. Most of our problems are solved by importing a library and writing the line, librarySolver.importedFunction.SolveMyProblem()

    def main(): Print(‘thanks librarySolver’)

      • ornery_chemist@mander.xyz
        6·
        2 years ago

        So many solver solutions that day, either Z3 or Gauss-Jordan lol. I got a little obsessed about doing it without solvers or (god forbid) manually solving the system and eventually found a relatively simple way to find the intersection with just lines and planes:

        1. Translate all hailstones and their velocities to a reference frame in which one stone is stationary at 0,0,0 (origin).
        2. Take another arbitrary hailstone (A) and cross its (rereferenced) velocity and position vectors. This gives the normal vector of a plane containing the origin and the trajectory of A, both of which the thrown stone must intersect. So, the trajectory of the thrown stone lies in that plane somewhere.
        3. Take two more arbitrary hailstones B and C and find the points and times that they intersect the plane. The thrown stone must strike B and C at those points, so those points are coordinates on the line representing the thrown stone. The velocity of the thrown stone is calculated by dividing the displacement between the two points by the difference of the time points of the intersections.
        4. Use the velocity of the thrown stone and the time and position info the intersection of B or C to determine the position of the thrown stone at t = 0
        5. Translate that position and velocity back to the original reference frame.

        It’s a suboptimal solution in that it uses 4 hailstones instead of the theoretical minimum of 3, but was a lot easier to wrap my head around. Incidentally, it is not too hard to adapt the above algorithm to not need C (i.e., to use only 3 hailstones) by using line intersections. Such a solution is not much more complicated than what I gave and still has a simple geometric interpretation, but I’ll leave that as an exercise for the reader :)

        • SpeakinTelnet@sh.itjust.works
          2·
          2 years ago

          That is a great explanation of how you solved it, thanks! I should go back to it and conquer that puzzle properly without a solver. Or at least try.