• @njm1314@lemmy.world
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      639 months ago

      Why do so many headlines leave that part out? I swear like half the headlines don’t feel that needs to be mentioned when it’s really a huge fucking part of the story.

      • @pyre@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        if you’re genuinely curious: my bet is to avoid lawsuits. mind that people who use the word pedophile colloquially usually mean people who prey on children.

        in reality, pedophilia is not a legal term and not a part of the crimes or charges. it’s a psychiatric disorder and in itself not the crime. laws are not concerned with the disorder so long as the person does not act on it.

        on the legal side, crimes like statutory rape, child sexual abuse, or whatever it may be, are independent of the disorder and i would imagine a lot of people who engage in it might not have it; as sexual abuse is more often than not about power, not attraction.

        so i imagine shit stain perpetrators like this can technically say they’re not pedophiles as they aren’t legally found to be so and sue for defamation. so media sticks to the legal terms.

        that being said, even if they don’t use the word, they should mention that the victim was a 12 year old. so instead of pedophile rapist, it can say rapist of 12 year old. afaik that’s legally and technically true and shouldn’t be a legal liability.

        disclaimer that these are opinions of a layman, and I’m not a lawyer.

      • @sandbox@lemmy.world
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        19 months ago

        because he’s probably not a pedophile - I read somewhere that a lot of child rapists aren’t actually pedophiles. But it should say child rapist.

  • @yarrage@sh.itjust.works
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    1669 months ago

    As a Dutch guy I feel compelled to apologize for our national olypic committee selecting and sending this douche nozzle to Paris.

    • @242@lemmy.cafe
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      699 months ago

      He’s still going to be representing the team in the next competition. You guys need to make sure your government knows it’s not ok to send child groomer rapists onto the world stage to represent you. And his teammates seem to be ok with playing aside him again.

      “If I can speak for him, after the match we lost, we were disappointed,” Immers said of his teammate Van de Velde. “But we said to each other: ‘Look what we did together. Look how hard we fought with all the attention.’ We stayed together. We cried together off the field and said, ‘OK, let’s just enjoy this moment.’ And we did that. So I’m happy we did it that way.”

      Van de Velde and Immers will play together next in the European championships in the Netherlands right after the Olympics, and then the Dutch championships.

      Sorry, but this is kind of fucked up. No offense to you personally, but my opinion of the Dutch just took a nosedive.

        • Flying Squid
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          429 months ago

          He was imprisoned by the UK, not the Dutch. The Dutch got him out of prison. After a year. For raping a 12-year-old multiple times.

          • @Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz
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            69 months ago

            He was first extradited by the Dutch and also imprisoned in the Netherlands (as is normal in international crimes). It’s not like they sprung him from a UK prison.

            • Flying Squid
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              269 months ago

              And exactly how long was he in prison in the Netherlands? For repeatedly raping a 12-year-old girl?

              • @johan@feddit.nl
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                109 months ago

                I totally agree with you and fuck this guy, but there is some context to his sentence here in the Netherlands:

                One legal distinction is that Van de Velde is unlikely to have been convicted of rape had he stood trial in the Netherlands rather than England. In England, sex with a 12-year-old is rape, regardless of the circumstances: an under-16 cannot legally consent. But after he was extradited to the Netherlands, having serving almost a year of his prison sentence, he was released after less than a month. Under Dutch law, his crime was deemed to be the lesser offence of ontucht, sexual acts that violate social-ethical norms.

                From https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/jul/30/netherlands-child-rapist-olympics-steven-van-de-velde

                • Flying Squid
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                  189 months ago

                  Oh I know. It’s disgusting, but it’s the law and you can’t retroactively change it. But they could, at the very least, not let the fucker on their Olympics team.

        • @242@lemmy.cafe
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          209 months ago

          Nah, I hate them because their government sends known child rapists to other countries.

        • Match!!
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          179 months ago

          Do you think the Dutch prison system taught him not to travel internationally to give 12 year olds liquor so he could rape them? Do you think it did so in under a month?

          • @Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz
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            119 months ago

            I mean that is the idea of rehabilitation, yeah. I don’t know where you are getting “under a month” from. He was in prison for 13 months and was released on parole, which would probably also include some rehabilitation activities.

            • Match!!
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              9 months ago

              Apologies, I had read a source on lemmy saying he’d served 12 months of his sentence in England before being transferred back to the Netherlands, but I can’t confirm it at this time.

              edit: Forbes and New York Times say he served a year in Britain and then had his sentence reduced upon repatriation.

              And I know Britain didn’t prioritize his rehabilitation in any way.

              • @Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz
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                49 months ago

                That’s a very interesting piece of information actually, I didn’t see that anywhere else. Implies they didn’t agree with the UK verdict in the first place.

                • @Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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                  139 months ago

                  Implies they didn’t agree with the UK verdict in the first place.

                  Yep, hence everyone being upset that a child rapist was given a slap on the hand by their government and allowed to go to the Olympics. Makes the dutch look super fucking bad overall.

        • @Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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          79 months ago

          He wasn’t even allowed to serve his full sentence and be rehabilitated. He was sent home from the UK after a year and the Dutch released him and claimed him rehabed. Meanwhile he refuses to show remorse, refuses to admit he did anything beyond a “mistake”. Also why didn’t he stay in the Olympics village? Cause there are kids there and he’s a child rapist and his own government knows it. If you’re so sure he’s rehabilitated, go all the way and show us you mean it and let him babysit your kids.

          Going to the Olympics is a privilege not a right. You lose certain privileges forever when you rape kids.

        • @Kalysta@lemm.ee
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          49 months ago

          This has nothing to do with the system.

          His victim tried to self harm, and now she gets to see him living his best life at the olympics.

          Where is the justice to his victim who gets to live a life of mental hell while he gets to be on TV?

          There are plenty of things he could be doing with his life other than the olympics and torturing his victim all over again.

          • @sandbox@lemmy.world
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            39 months ago

            To be fair, seeing all the media coverage of him probably doesn’t help the girl he raped, either. It would be better for all involved parties that he just quietly retired from public life.

    • @JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Fellow embarrassed Dutch guy chiming in.

      Edit: why did I get down voted for being an embarrassed Dutch guy? LOL, that’s what we are!

      • @SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world
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        59 months ago

        Upon his release from prison, Van de Velde told a Dutch newspaper: “I have been branded as a sex monster, as a pedophile. That I am not—really not.”

        I dunno, sounds like a ton of remorse /s

  • @Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz
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    909 months ago

    I’m very conflicted about this whole thing. On the one hand, yeah it’s kind of a scandal and people have every right to be booing him every time he touches the ball.

    On the other hand, he was convicted, sentenced, did time and is now back in society apparently showing remorse. People are calling for his career to end and various wishes of death on him. Why can’t he continue his life?

    Are we supposed to lock up all criminals forever? Kill them? Just not allow them to follow their chosen career after getting out? Or is it just sports they shouldn’t be allowed to participate in?

    • Flying Squid
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      1269 months ago

      apparently showing remorse

      He showed no remorse. He called it nonsense. He said he made mistakes as a youth. He has not even bothered to offer anything in the way of an apology.

      • @Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz
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        149 months ago

        I also saw those statements on his wiki. Also saw some about it being “the worst mistake of his life”. I don’t imagine he would get parole without showing remorse.

        • Flying Squid
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          439 months ago

          You don’t imagine? Well then that proves it. He’s very sorry he raped a 12-year-old girl over and over even though he’s never said so in public.

            • Flying Squid
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              519 months ago

              The “conservative mindset” that someone who raped a 12-year-old over and over should, at the very least, make a public apology before being allowed to join their Olympic team?

              You’re right, that’s a total MAGA position. Trump 2024!

                • Flying Squid
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                  329 months ago

                  Absolutely. We all know what big fans of public apologies MAGA people are.

                  And, of course, suggesting someone who raped a 12-year-old girl multiple times should make a public apology before being allowed on an Olympic volleyball team definitely means I don’t believe in governments.

                  It’s amazing how you’ve gotten me totally right so far.

    • @TheMetaleek@sh.itjust.works
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      779 months ago

      He did barely a year of prison… I personally don’t quite think it’s enough for raping a kid, but hey that’s just my opinion

      • @Johandea@feddit.nu
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        279 months ago

        Enough for what? Your sense of vengeance? I don’t know, only you can tell… Enough for rehabilitation? I don’t know, but it is possible. Time needed for rehabilitation varies widely. It’s quite possible the year was enough. One thing we do know is that the Netherlands is heavily in favour of rehabilitation over punishment, since rehabilitation actually forwards society

        • @TheMetaleek@sh.itjust.works
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          349 months ago

          I am European and heavily against punitive justice. But I think one year of prison for a crime almost universally considered among the worst is not enough for rehabilitation, and I find this opinion validated by the lack of understanding or even remorse shown by the guy in public statements

        • @Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz
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          179 months ago

          This is exactly the point I’m trying to make, but am getting downvoted because I apparently sound like a “child rape apologist”.

          I understand the crime is emotionally charged, but that doesn’t mean anyone convicted of it should just be thrown in the oubliette.

          • @Reyali@lemm.ee
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            59 months ago

            I believe people can change and I think it’s important we hold space for people to do so. However, that hinges on the person actually growing, which often starts with showing remorse. I know you implied that this guy has done so, but I haven’t seen any evidence of that.

            Even the quote you posted somewhere else about it being the worst thing he’d done, or something like that? That very much sounds like a, “I’m not sorry I did it, I’m sorry I got caught” kind of statement.

            Asked if van de Velde had ever expressed any remorse to him for rape, Immers [his teammate] said: “No, he doesn’t, he doesn’t explain it.” (source)

            “I have been branded as a sex monster, as a pedophile,” he said. "That I am not — really not.” (source)

            If there’s an apology or some actual statement showing his remorse, I’d love to see it, but I’m skeptical that it exists. This whole controversy he’s had a huge opportunity to step up, apologize, and rebuke his prior actions. Instead, he’s faced it all with silence and a reaction of ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ That is not the behavior of a person who acknowledges they were in the wrong, imo.

            • @yamanii@lemmy.world
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              19 months ago

              Seems like this whole debacle is because he didn’t make a press tour saying to the whole wide world how remorseful he is, but the comittee said that experts determined that he was remorseful though, so we shouldn’t trust the experts now?

              Van de Velde has fully engaged with all requirements and has met all the stringent risk assessment thresholds, checks and due diligence. Experts have stated that there is no risk of recidivism.

              Van de Velde has consistently remained transparent about the case which he refers to as the most significant misstep of his life. He deeply regrets the consequences of his actions for those involved. He has been open about the personal transformation he has undergone as a result. Since his return he has participated in major international events without incident.

              from https://nocnsf.nl/en/nocstarnsf-takes-measures-to-ensure-a-safe-sporting-environment-for-all-olympic-participants

          • @Breezy@lemmy.world
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            19 months ago

            that doesn’t mean anyone convicted of it should just be thrown in the oubliette.

            Yes it does. I think having empathy is a good thing and most people deserve it. Not child rapists.

            • FundMECFS
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              79 months ago

              So you’re for punitive justice instead of rehabilitive justice?

                • FundMECFS
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                  49 months ago

                  child rapists or pedophiles? One is a crime another is a psychiatric disorder.

                  Less than half of child rapists are pedophiles.

                • @Breezy@lemmy.world
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                  9 months ago

                  Having a less cruel mindset is what allows it to go on though. Our justice system is built by predators for predators so victims are already at a disadvantage, and the fact that anyone would want consideration for the rapist only encourages others. The whole idea of being at all lenient on child rapists is crazy to me

          • @friendlymessage@feddit.org
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            9 months ago

            Your pretentious pseudo-enlightened bullshit pisses me of. No, not everyone here is out for vengeance. But there’s a middle ground between capital punishment and letting a child rapist go after only 13 months without them expressing remorse plus letting them represent their country at the Olympics. Travelling to another country to convince a 12 year old to have unprotected sex three times in two days, leading them to self-harm including an overdose is not “fornication”, it’s rape. This is not rehabilitation but a blatant failure of the Dutch justice system and society.

      • @Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz
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        179 months ago

        I agree, it seems like a small amount on the face of it.

        But at the same time, I’m more inclined to trust the judgement of the prison system (at least in The Netherlands) as to whether he is ready to return to society.

          • @Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz
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            199 months ago

            Nice slogan, but back in reality, there’s a phenomenon documented in psychology literature called Projection. It’s usually those who rabidly accuse others and calling for harsh punishments that are guilty of those same behaviours they are condemning.

          • FundMECFS
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            169 months ago

            It is possible and encouraged to try and have empathy for even the worst of people.

            Am I an islamic terrorist because I think the CIA shouldn’t torture the 9/11 planners for two decades?

      • @Showroom7561@lemmy.ca
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        169 months ago

        It seems like a lot of criminals who “did their time” really didn’t do much at all.

        Compare that to a lifetime of hurt caused to the victim(s) and their families, and it just doesn’t seem good enough.

      • FundMECFS
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        9 months ago

        While I agree this seems extremely small. The netherlands is not the US. The specifics of court cases are not made public. We have no idea about them. It might be a very ambiguous case that barely fit the definition of rape or whatever.

        Not trying to defend rape or rapists, but we may need more context before we can judge the length of a sentence.

        Edit: I just read a less opinionated in depth article on him, and from the details I see, man he fucked up bad, in my opinion he deserved more than 13 months. He got sentenced to 4 years at first but that got cut short.

    • @Goodmorningsunshine@lemmy.world
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      359 months ago

      It’s a good thing the court of public opinion still has a voice and doesn’t approve of child rapists quite so heartily as the Dutch government. What “time” did he do - like 11months? And he was never remorseful in the slightest. If his only real punishment is going to be him and his country getting booed by the world at the Olympics, I’m happy there’s at least that.

      • @Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz
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        189 months ago

        What do you mean? He served 13 months and got out on parole. He’s publicly expressed remorse, but that isn’t exactly conclusive. I assume there would have been some genuine remorse inside, otherwise there would be no parole.

        My point is, if you stop anyone who has been to jail returning to normal society at all, then why let them out at all? You might as well just put every criminal in jail for life, or just kill them straight away.

          • @rekorse@lemmy.world
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            79 months ago

            Did you consider that the Netherlands thinks its important to stand by its rule of reform over punishment? You are being incredibly vague as well with what the person deserves.

            Say it plainly, what should have been done instead?

        • @lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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          19 months ago

          You might as well just put every criminal in jail for life, or just kill them straight away.

          Just the child rapists is fine with me. There’s no reforming that.

      • @Gestrid@lemmy.ca
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        19 months ago

        “I can’t reverse it, so I have to carry the consequences. It’s the biggest mistake of my life.”

        Source: The article linked in the OP

        If that’s not remorse, I don’t know what is.

        • @Reyali@lemm.ee
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          69 months ago

          Remorse: “I am sorry for what I did and the impact it had on the victim. I made stupid choices that hurt another person, and while I can never take that back, I will seek to do better so no one needs to suffer from my actions again.”

          Not sorry you did it, just sorry you got caught: “I can’t reverse it, so I have to carry the consequences. It’s the biggest mistake of my life.”

    • 100
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      199 months ago

      he can continue his life, but get the fuck out of public positions like this if youre a fucking pedo rapist

    • @fine_sandy_bottom@discuss.tchncs.de
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      139 months ago

      I agree with you pretty much on all points.

      I am also conflicted.

      It’s up to courts and parole boards to determine what punishments are appropriate, given the context of the crimes.

      I don’t like the guy, and of course his crime was repugnant, but I can still acknowledge that he’s one of the best volleyball players in the world. These two opinions are incongruous and yet, they exist at the same time.

      • @hydrospanner@lemmy.world
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        119 months ago

        My thought is more along the lines of, “Regardless of his talent level, is this really the kind of person that his country wants representing them on the world stage?”

        Like, okay even if he’s the absolute best by an order of magnitude…if he were from my country, I’d rather lose every match than win on the talents of someone like that.

      • @friendlymessage@feddit.org
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        9 months ago

        For me, there’s a difference between rehabilitation and letting someone represent your country at the olympics. Athletes don’t have to be perfect but to a certain extent they are ambassadors of their country and role models.

        This paired with him not staying in prison for long because the Dutch legal system is fucking abysmal is reason enough for me to celebrate that he’s out.

    • @Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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      129 months ago

      I’m not conflicted. I’m not saying he should be in jail forever. But I’m also saying it’s clear that he shouldn’t be representing his country on the world stage. That’s a privilege you should lose forever when you rape a child. Cause remember, going to the Olympics is a privilege, not a right. It’s like yeah he served your time, would you let him babysit your daughter now then? Or let him hang out at schools? You gotta forgive, but you’re stupid if you forget

      • e$tGyr#J2pqM8v
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        39 months ago

        There’s a system in place for that. It’s called ‘verklaring omtrent gedrag’. For many jobs and positions you need this certificate of conduct in order to apply. The ministry of justice will not hand out the certificate if your crime is related to the position you apply for. This means he would probably never be allowed to work at a school for instance.

    • @cordlesslamp@lemmy.today
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      119 months ago

      First of all, not all crimes are the same nor should be treated equally.

      Secondly, he raped a 12 year old, and that’s unredeemable in a lot of people’s book.

      • @Soulg@sh.itjust.works
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        59 months ago

        That doesn’t answer their question though. Those people don’t have to be friends with the guy, but wishing him death or homelessness etc is not only horrible but solves nothing other than making them feel like they’re “better”.

    • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      99 months ago

      On the other hand, he was convicted, sentenced, did time and is now back in society apparently showing remorse.

      He flew to England, raped a 12 yo, got convicted by the English for 4 years. He was deported back to Netherlands, they dropped it to 1 year.

      This isn’t justice.

    • @Skanky@lemmy.world
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      39 months ago

      It’s simple really.

      His judgement, sentencing and punishment satisfy the needs of the law. the law has done it’s part (arguably terribly in this case) and is at rest.

      This is vastly different than the judgement bright forth by the court of public opinion. They are not so forgiving.

      Perhaps that’s something the dude should have thought about before doing what he did

    • @lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      19 months ago

      Why can’t he continue his life?

      Because he raped a child. The only olympic event he should have been allowed to participate in was competitive shooting, as a target.

  • Zombie-Mantis
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    689 months ago

    Fucking finally. Price of shit rapist. Maybe the Dutch will reform their legal system in-time for the next Olympics?

    • @GoosLife@lemmy.world
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      139 months ago

      I mean, using your voice to influence the outcome of politics is kind of how a democracy works. Ideally, at least. But I agree with your sentiment.

      Also, for a second I imagined a scenario where voting is done by small groups in booths, booing for the politicians they don’t like and clapping for the ones they like, and then someone would watch the tapes and just count how many people booed and clapped at every politician.

      • @iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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        89 months ago

        except a single billionaire has more effect on the outcome of an election than probably hundreds of thousands of normal income citizens

        • @AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee
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          29 months ago

          except a single billionaire has more effect on the outcome of an election than probably hundreds of thousands of normal income citizens voting

          FTFY

          Start with organizing, protesting, and striking. Continue escalating as needed until they bend to our will. Voting is a compromise that we accepted instead of a revolution.

  • TwinTusks
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    449 months ago

    He’s only 29, this is gonna haunt him for a LONG LONG time.

    • @Deceptichum@quokk.au
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      859 months ago

      It might even ruin his chances for getting to the Olympics and representing his country on the world stage.

        • I'll be on ShareMySims@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          39 months ago

          It literally hasn’t, I suspect that reply is mocking yours for thinking, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary, that him raping a child would stop him from doing anything at all because we live in rape culture and rapists hardly ever pay any real price or suffer any serious consequences for their abhorrent actions.

          Hoping for it, isn’t going to change reality - facing the fucked up reality and calling it out, might.

    • @Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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      49 months ago

      Not if he stayed home and got a job and lived his life. But being on the world stage and representing your country is a choice and a privilege. It’s not owed to him. He can fuck off to obscurity any time he wants

  • @wheeldawg@sh.itjust.works
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    339 months ago

    Every time a rapist is sad or something bad happens to them, I smile. The worse the event, the happier I am. Death should be their only release from torture. I accept no less and grant no pity, no matter how bad it gets for them.

    And it goes double for Trump.

    • @sandbox@lemmy.world
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      59 months ago

      I agree with your sentiment, but nobody deserves torture, no matter how terrible they are or what they’ve done. I can totally accept an argument that society is better without some people in it, but torture isn’t good for anyone, ever, and we should never, ever endorse its use, even when speaking figuratively.

      If our goal is to minimize suffering for everyone, intentionally inflicting needless suffering on others is antithetical to that goal, and makes us no better than those we oppose.

  • Amanda
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    249 months ago

    How is there no mechanism to remove him? I mean, ideally he shouldn’t have been selected in the first place but under the insanely charitable assumption that it was sloppiness and not active negligence that recruited him.

  • @rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de
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    99 months ago

    I’m on the fence on that. He raped a minor which is not excusable, he possibly ruined her life. How can a person like that be redeemed? Or does he not deserve redemption? He was 19. When I was 19, I was an irresponsible child. There is no proof that he is a pedophile.

    • @chumbalumber@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      9 months ago

      Dunno about you, but when I was 19 the thought of raping a child never crossed my mind. He’s spent less than a year in prison, and hasn’t repented for what he did. Redemption has to at the very least come with an understanding that what he did was wrong.

      Edit: slightly more than a year; 13 months

        • @Bremmy@lemmy.ml
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          9 months ago

          He groomed the child for YEARS before he raped her. It’s wild you’re defending this

          Edit: I can’t find the article I thought I read about him first meeting the child when they were 10

        • @chumbalumber@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          49 months ago

          There’s a pretty obvious difference between a kid who’s 12, and someone you could reasonably mistake for being an adult (UK age of consent is 16).

      • FundMECFS
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        39 months ago

        He’s spent more than a year in prison.

        Also, we can’t take his words for gospel, but atleast he acts as if he’s repented:

        “I can’t reverse it, so I have to carry the consequences. It’s the biggest mistake of my life.”

        • Flying Squid
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          9 months ago

          Yes, a whole 13 months. What a punishment for raping a 12-year-old girl over and over.

          And that isn’t repenting. Repenting includes an apology for what he did.

          • FundMECFS
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            9 months ago

            He did it multiple times? 🤢

            And yes, I agree, 13 months seems way too short. I was correcting the comment above which said less than one year. It’s good also to take into account that prison doesn’t just “end”. There’s a lengthy parole and rehabilitation process after, and your movements and activities are strictly restricted while on parole.

            • Flying Squid
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              49 months ago

              Sadly, yes. I read about what he did and I’m sorry I read about it.

    • @Phegan@lemmy.world
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      289 months ago

      Bro she was like 12. I was also an irresponsible child at 19, but I wasn’t raping 12 year olds, nor did it cross my mind.

      Playing devil’s advocate on pedophilia is not it.

      • FundMECFS
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        9 months ago

        Did you know most child rapists don’t fit pedophilia diagnostic critia?

        Edit: I read an article on him and he has a 2 year old son. I really hope he isn’t a pedophile.

      • ayaya
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        119 months ago

        The majority of child molesters are not pedophiles. It is more about power dynamics / them being an easy target.

      • @rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de
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        9 months ago

        If you go by medical definition, that would be hebephilia. Pedophilia is only used with children younger than 11.

        The reason in this case could also have been because she was an easy target, the age must not necessarily be the reason.

        • Flying Squid
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          109 months ago

          Repeatedly telling people he’s not technically a pedophile is really not in any way helpful. He raped a 12-year-old multiple times. Who is it hurting to call him a pedophile?

          • ayaya
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            9 months ago

            Why do you need to call him something if it’s inaccurate? Just call him a child rapist and be done with it. Words have meanings and there is no reason to use them incorrectly.

            As for who it’s hurting: everyone. Pedophila literally has nothing to do with rape. It is a disorder. It’s estimated it effects as much as 3% of the population. The vast majority of those people have never done anything wrong. They were simply born that way. The more people conflate the medical term with crimes the less likely pedophiles are going to seek help or treatment. Nobody wants to risk being outed as part of the most hated group of people on the planet.

            If you want to actually help children instead of being angry the best course of action is to destigmatize the disorder so people can get counseling without fear of ruining their lives. Forcing people to bottle up their feelings/urges/etc. does not lead to good outcomes.

            • Flying Squid
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              89 months ago

              Do you think maybe medical terms and terms that the general public use aren’t always the same? Like you know when someone says “I broke my toe” and they just fractured it, people are fine with them saying that even though it wouldn’t medically be considered broken, yes?

              Similarly, if someone says “I’m feeling depressed today,” do you think most people assume they have clinical depression? I sure wouldn’t.

              And sorry, you are not going to destigmatize pedophilia by doing an “umm… actually” every time a child rapist is called a pedophile.

              • ayaya
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                9 months ago

                Only because people like you refuse to change. That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

                I don’t understand why you want to be wrong so badly. What do you even gain from that? In this case using the wrong word isn’t even just wrong it’s objectively harmful but for some reason you want to keep doing it anyway? Why?

                • Flying Squid
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                  59 months ago

                  People like me? Refuse to change? I didn’t call him a pedophile.

                  I’m saying read the room.

          • @friendlymessage@feddit.org
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            19 months ago

            Real talk: constantly conflating child rapists with pedophiles is actually a problem. Pedophiles didn’t choose their sexuality, however coming out would destroy their lifes because of how society sees them, so they don’t. Which means they don’t seek help which increases the risk of them acting on it at some point in their life. Even if you feel no sympathy towards them, which I get, them getting treatment is important to reduce cases of child abuse.

    • Flying Squid
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      89 months ago

      No. People who don’t even bother offering anything in the way of apology for their atrocities do not deserve redemption.

    • @wowyoureallysaidthat@reddthat.com
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      49 months ago

      Hi, friend. I’m sure you have well-meaning intentions by making this comment. As someone who was a survivor of a similar situation such as this, and who also grew into a 19 year old, I can tell you that from a non-clinical perspective, if you are attracted to a child of early puberty age as a 19 year old adult, I don’t think making this assumption is too far off the table. I’m sick and tired of coming on here and listening to this discourse about this volleyball player. Thank you for your two sides to every story, attempt at nuance and empathy for a rapist here. As a survivor of CSA, this has never been granted to me or anyone else I know of that has survived something like this. We need a different reaction to people who do these acts to innocent children.

    • @friendlymessage@feddit.org
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      39 months ago

      There is no proof that he is a pedophile.

      Not entirely sure where you’re going with this. He’s not an irredeemable asshole because he might be a pedophile, he’s an irredeemable asshole because he raped a child and that’s indisputable.

  • @craigers@lemmy.world
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    59 months ago

    Theres a typo in the article where they refer to him as “Ban de Velde” which is hilariously appropriate