The perfect way to mourn your mundane life.
- wake up at 5:30am
Fuck right off.
I wake up earlier than that these days yet i somehow manage to stay far less smug about it. Though i will gladly fuck off, it’s a ridiculous time to be waking up
Terms like “connect”, “be present”, “superpower” tell me this is not for the average working person, but the higher paid bosses of such people who can do whatever they want.
It was the “no meetings before 2pm” and “3 hours of no distraction” that gave it away for me.
Wake up at 5:30am
Counter offer: go to hell
Couple big problems -
To start, this is a morning routine, not a mourning routine. While it is true that I often mourn the morn, dude needs to learn how to spell.
Second, if you’re up at 5:30, and not drinking coffee until 7am, and then have 3 hours of focused work, that right there is 10am. Your morning is supposed to be ‘won’ by this point, and you still haven’t gotten to the weight training part of your morning.
Wake up at 5:30 then go for a walk. It is recommended to take a 30 min to 1 hour walk in the morning. Also including prep time so I’d say about 15 minutes. So let’s say we’re at 6:45 now. Wait 90 minutes so now we’re at 9:45. Now making americanos at home is also time consuming if it isn’t pre prepped or if you don’t have a full espresso setup in your home, it could take 30 or 45 minutes and you’d have take it stronger to compensate for the ice melting in the hot cup. So now we’re at 10:30. 3 hours of work, 1:30. Lift weights; you can get that done in 30 minutes, but you also have to factor in cleaning yourself up or else you’re just going to baste in your own sweat all day until you shower. So I’d give that another 30 minutes. It is now 2:00, you’re late for your meetings which removes your “superpower” to say no, you didn’t factor in any time to eat lunch, your blood sugar is probably bottoming out because you had a very caffeine rich coffee drink and lifted weights without nutrients, and you’re going to feel like garbage until you get food in you.
Horrible plan
In fairness he says 90 minutes after waking, not 90 minutes after the walk. If you get home from the walk by 6:30 that’s 30 minutes to make it, or potentially buy it if you have one nearby to get on the way home/quickly drive to.
Now yes that’s already 10am, but considering he mentions 2pm in the right column, you could make the argument the left column is the “until 10am” part, and the right is “after 10am” part, though I am giving large amounts of benefit of the doubt at this point.
Haha, that’s quite the reality check. God I hate those grifters…
How is it taking you up to 45 minutes to make a cup of coffee? I can make a hot cup in ten, and most of that is spent waiting.
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An Americano does not contain coffee. It is just espresso and hot water.
I dunno, I feel like I’ve won on any day I don’t have to lift heavy things.
Keeping it noodley. ✊
oh I’ll definitely be mourning if I were to wake up at 5
Mourning my will to live
I like how planning the morning the night before happens in the morning. That’s about how much I procrastinate, too.
If I’m waking up at 5:30am and not drinking caffeine for 90 minutes, I’m definitely mourning.
“Saying ‘no’ is a superpower, it will lead you to your true calling. Trust your instincts.”
“Want my morning routine checklist? Follow Matt Gray”
No. ( :
“Boosts testosterone”. I bet this dude thinks of himself as an alpha male.
Soon to be a bald one, too.
Most of these make sense but its from a very privileged perspective.
“Work for 3 hours”
Sure, I actually agree, I get more done in 3 hours than my coworkers do in a day. But it’s not like I’m going to get to go home after that. I’ll just get to sit and do nothing for the rest of the day looking busy.
2pm: have a meeting of max 1 hour.
3pm: end of work day, start prepping diner.
7pm: done with diner, wash the twenty pans and nine oven trays.
7:30pm: more weightlifting, more testosterone = more better.
9pm: time for bed, a good night rest starts early!Social life is a waste of time 99% of the time, just take those antidepressants more often.
People love to shit on linkedinlunatics (myself included) but people who think that you can get up at 11am, never exercise, never structure your day, and spend all day on lemmy and somehow achieve your goals are just as delusional.
This list might seem crazy to some people (some of the advice is hyper specific to this person’s specific lifestyle) but literally everything is a good idea on it. You don’t become successful at a thing unless you make a plan and structure your day around that priority. Learning how to say no to things is huge. People pleasing is a mental illness. If you have the ability to say no, and you’re not at risk of getting fired or letting down someone you care about, if it doesn’t serve your goals, you say no to it.
My biggest criticism is that I’m not really the one who sets my meeting schedule, even when I’m the one who sends the invite. Unless your entire company has a “no meetings until 2pm” policy this isn’t really doable. Especially if you work with people in multiple time zones.
I only got to institute this when I started working for myself. It took me a year or two to realise. For all clients or all agencies I sub for I have a strict no meetings before 930am rule. I haven’t told anyone why - my calendar is just blocked out so each probably individually thinks I have some recurring appointment with another client. Nup. I’m in bed drinking my coffee. I’m a shit sleeper, if I manage at all. I spent decades working to the early birds’ schedule. Fuck that.
But it is a privilege and very few can achieve that working in a company. It’s gross to suggest to people they can just do it. I know my situation is niche. To suggest otherwise is arrogant and ignorant.
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A lot of these LinkedIn lunatic posts are absurd. This one seems totally reasonable, healthy, and leaves plenty of time for hobbies and family/friends.
Minus the meeting time restriction. Dunno how you manage that unless you’re the owner of the company.
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wake up whenever, alarm usually goes off 8:30. Maybe i hit snooze a buncha times
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start work at 10. Wfh, pants optional
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work according to load, mostly fart about house.
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Take a long walk for lunch, usually blow out my step requirements
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fuck off work 3:30, go fuck around in garden until sun sets
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big fat dinner sitting on my arse watching telly with hubs, then gaming after he goes to bed at 9ish
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bed around 1ish under fat purring cat.
Pretty much my routine to a tee.
Fantastic, isn’t it
5:30 h/day? My man living the dream
Nah, IT. Work driven. Somedays are five hours, some are 28 hours
some are 28 hours
Ouch, crowdstrike?
Oh hell no thank fuck. Avoided that shitshow
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Funny how it’s not the worst idea but “this alone separates you from 99% of people” is like putting poison in soup and now the whole thing is ruined.
The thing that’s so irritating to me isn’t the tone, isn’t the weird preaching, isn’t the push to follow on social media. What gets me (as it always does) is that assholes like this push their message as a one-size-fits-all message.
Assholes like this always think everyone else works just like them, and it makes me crazy.
This isn’t terrible advice, but it’s presented in such a way that I want to strike the author for being such a smug prick.
Yeah focused work is great and pomodoro timers can help you achieve it by breaking out down into smaller chunks. But this image was just grating to read, and it seemed to imply only working 3 hours per day.
“No meetings before 2pm”, “saying no is a superpower” yeah brill mate I’ll just say no to my boss multiple times a morning forever and absolutely won’t get fired for being difficult thanks Matt xo
Sunrise here, tomorrow, is around 7:30. When I take my morning walk, presumably just after I wake up at 5:30 because the walk is supposed to “get my brain ready to work” and I’m supposed to put several hours of work in during the morning, how do I “get sunlight in my eyes”?
Have a villa in each hemisphere.
Turn your Winter into Summer taps forehead
Here’s my morning routine:
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Wake up at 8 (assuming a crying baby doesn’t wake me up sooner)
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Change diapers
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Spend time with my wife and sons
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Walk to the grocery store with my toddler (3500 steps round trip or so)
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Drink a kombucha on the way home (coffee raises my cholesterol and gives me awful anxiety symptoms)
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Change diapers
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Take my toddler to the playground, weather permitting
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Have lunch with my wife and sons
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Read books to my toddler, change his diaper, and put him down for a nap
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Think about how I’m leaving the USA next year partially because American work culture is absolute trash
I’m on paternity leave and it’s been the best part of my career. As in not working at all is the best part of my career. How fucked is that?
I would gladly change diapers and hang out with screaming kids all day instead of dealing with my dumb ass coworkers and people who can’t honor a meeting invite planned weeks out but then expect me to “hop on a quick call” which then achieves nothing. Between the constant threat of layoffs and losing my livelihood and the political backdrop of having my family deported because they’re too dark a shade of brown and speak Spanish sometimes?
Fuck this place. I’m out.
Dealing with my toddler is frequently more rational than dealing with my coworkers. Most of em are good, but the ones that are outside my normal bubble drive me insane.
Paternity leave was the best part of my job, too. I wish I got more, and it’s criminal that many dads get very little, if any.
Also I don’t really know the best way to say “sorry for this weird mess of a country,” but I’m sorry. That sounds very stressful to say the least.
But no one died for your routine. A real mourning routine allocates time to remember those who have passed. /s
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