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I raise you brussels sprouts:
I can’t believe you just spent an hour hotgluing brussel sprouts to a small tree just to trick people on the internet
I’ll see your Brussels Sprouts, and raise you Cashews:
I see your brussels sprouts and raise you pineapples:
Fuck. Im in a hot area but not zone 10-12 hot.
They may do best there, but I think there is wiggle room, at least for small scale cultivation.
My dad used to grow them in 9a and they grew pretty well. But they need to be covered up or brought in overnight if it’s going to get too cold.
Maybe a greenhouse would work?
and they are primitive versions of grasses, POALES.
Damn. You beat me to it.
Uh… you’re welcome?
Wtf no way this is real
EDIT: whoa
Yea I wasn’t sure how I thought they grew, but I never would have guessed that. I saw them at the supermarket on the stem and I was like wtf
and these are all related to cabbages, cauliflowers, broccoli too, they come from the same species.
Peanuts:
Yes, they grow underground like potatoes.
Well but they aren’t roots, they’re from a stem that goes back under.
And the violet one tastes great:
Brussels sprouts are unreal
I’ve seen markets sell brussels sprouts on the stalk but I didn’t know it had leaves.
I figured the leaves were the brussels sprouts,
Thanks for the info.
On another branch of that family tree, those leaves are kale.
Not even another branch - it’s the same exact species, just a different cultivar
selected for increased leaf growth over the flowers.
First time I saw them I felt like someone was playing a massive prank on me… in a random supermarket, by putting clearly alien veggies in the veggie section
they are buds of the flowering part. we eat the flowering parts mostly, like broccoli, cauliflower.
I should find out how this stuff grows. I have no idea how broccoli and cauliflower grow.
Thanks for the info.
You can buy them like that in a grocer though. Shit for fridge space.
Yea I’ve only seen them once though. Usually they are sold pretrimmed in a bag, in the US at least.
You could have given me a million guesses and I wouldn’t have arrived at that!
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Would you expect them to grow on a vine like beans or something?
Bunched together or with leaves around them was my assumption, not individually like someone just bought some and stuck them in the ground.
Didn’t know we harvested them as baby plants.
Oh no that’s not even them as babies. That’s like two years in.
This is baby asparagus. It takes forever to develop to actual asperagus stage.
It takes several years, many seasons, much sun and rain for such a magnificent vegetable to grow to maturity and be ripe for the harvest.
Unfortunately it tastes like ass, has the texture of twine and makes your piss stink.
Vile weed.
I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.
Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!
Have you thought about getting a urinary tract infection? They make your urine smell extra funny!
Added to bucket list.
I tried many ways, my most successful was asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper and a light dusting of Parmesan cheese. Put it in the broiler until the cheese gets a tan. Finish with a tiny sprinkle of really fancy balsamic vinegar.
While it was an improvement, the texture was still not something I ever found acceptable.
Also, if you’re using asparagus for smelly dick jokes, I am willing to withdraw my judgement.
Sweet recipe, I believe I’ve had it that way too. You have indeed stress tested asparagus.
You fucking what? Say that to my face
4 years isn’t it? I looked into it back in the 90s, decided hell no. LOL, it was suggested to dig a 4’ deep trench to plant them.
That’s probably right. I think they become recognizable as asperagus around 2 years in. We had some, about two years in when were in a mobile home park. Swapped owners so they hired new lawn keepers… who fucking killed them right when they were almost harvestable god I was so mad.
The greenhouses around me sell matured asparagus roots. Don’t have to wait this way.
They grew wild up and down the ditch next to my dadas house when I was a kid - as weird to see just tons of asparagus every year
It’s extremely low maintenance once it establishes though which is nice.
Wait… How do we know that someone didn’t just buy some and stuck them in the ground to make us think that this is how they grow?
never really thought about it
I’m a breastparagus man myself
Dad that’s gross, geez!
If you want them to remain white, you have to cover them in earth, the farmers make ridges of earth to cover them:
Why would you want them to remain white?
Because they are delicious that way!
Freshly cooked with egg, ham and butter sauce they are very good. It’s called 'white gold’in the Netherlands.
because racism
White gold
The only way I’ve seen white asparagus is in glass jars with brine and those are disgusting.
Freshly cooked with egg, ham and butter sauce they are very good.
But pickled asparagus is delicious!
Asperger = asparagus brings me happy memories of fooling around with this therms, I’m asparagus.
Somewhat related story; my middle name is Peter, and I had seemingly misheard it, as for the first 6 years of my life I thought my middle name was pizza.
if you seen agave and aloe blooming, its because they are in the same orders, thts why thier blooms looks giant asparagus shoots.
Asperagus blooming:
I’ve never understood this meme. Like what did you expect them to look like, and why is this apparently alarming?
So someone bought asparagus from the market, stuck it in the ground, took a picture, and it’s indistinguishable from the real thing?
Otherwise it’s surely not a shitpost
Don’t google what Hans Asparagus did to disabled kids!
And don’t look up his friend, Pauli Broccoli. I’ve heard he’s even worse.
