I’m thinking things like “Same-sung” For Samsung, because all their products look kinda generic and boring, or Ford standing for “Fix Or Repair Daily” because of the engineering and build quality, or “McDiabetes”, for obvious reasons.
I mean microslop is pretty dang good
Less good but also M$
Micro$lop
I bet they wish people had stuck with “Micro$oft”
I usually call them Microshaft
He already named his company after his dick
Swasticar
And their premier vehicle, the CyberStuck
There’s a gas station chain called Kum & Go but it’s also referred to as Jizz and Jet or Ejaculate and Evacuate.
Skeet & Yeet
Bust & Bounce
Nut & Bolt
Nut and Bolt is fucking great!
Nut & Bolt is getting added to the repertoire. Something about how the double meaning relies on changing them from two nouns to two verbs tickles something.
Blow Your Load and Hit the Road
Shoot your shot and ride your rod
With a name like that you could say they were screwed from the start.
There could be a whole thread just on the variations of that concept, but the most obvious for a gas station has to be “Pump and Dump”
I believe they just rebranded as Mavericks. At least the ones around me did.
I have a queer friend that calls his GMC Yukon his Gay Man’s Chariot. When we go places in it he usually initiates by saying something like “to the chariot”
Whole Foods -> Whole Paycheck
Walmart is its own insult.
When I had a Samsung TV, I hated it intensely and printed a label that said “scamsung.” That TV eventually went to the recyclers with that label still covering the Samsung one.
McDonalds→McDicks→McPenis. I’m mature.
Some ppl say “Mc D” or “Micky D” so ive taken to calling it “Mickeys D” or “Mickeys Dicky”
Found On Road Dead
Just Empty Every Pocket
Fix It Again Tony
I prefer “Find Immediate Alternative Transportation”
And wanted to add “Acutely Unreliable Despite Investment”
I prefer “Find Immediate Alternative Transportation”
I haven’t heard that one before! That’s good!
Drips Oil Dirt & Grime Everwhere (or everyday)
Fehler In Allen Teilen (failure in all parts).
Für Italiener ausreichende Technik
Ive heard Fix Or Repair Daily
“Home Despot” is one of my favs from Joey Santore of crime pays but botany doesn’t.
I’ve heard “Home Desparate” before
The American embassy for McDonalds
Nintendon’t on account of their rabid intellectual property protection and litigious nature.
Works as both what they might say to would-be infringers as well as advice to avoid them. (Which people ignore because Zelda, Mario and childhood memories.)
I don’t ignore it, I’m aware. I buy their stuff regardless because it’s that good.
Always remember that Microsoft literally means small and limp.
It’s Microslop now
So, I guess, the same? LOL
Electronic Farts
Cockstar Games
Ubibad (pronounced You Be Bad)
Micro$haft (pre-MicroSlop era)
Nintendon’t (thank you, SEGA)
Jizzard-Gotnovision
just Electronic
The arts are missing
Jimmy Johns: similar to Pei Wei & PF Chang’s, there is a fancier, more expensive version of the restaurant named James Jonathan.
Fiat: Fix It Again Tony 🤌🏻🤌🏻
Google: it used to be an in joke with my friends to say “giggle it” instead of google it. Now we don’t use google of course…
Best Buy: Worst Buy
Target: it is pronounced “tar-jay” because it is the fancy version of Walmart
711 was a part time job!
I always called BestBuy Worst Purchase
Samsung –> Samsucks
PlayStation –> PayStation (Not a company name, but relevant enough)
Edit: more names I came up with (I don’t use all of these but they are reserved in case I have to):
Roblox –> Blowblox
Discord –> Disscord
Apple –> Crapple
McDonald’s –> FakeDonald’s
Dunkin –> Bunkin
Sam’s Club –> Scam’s Club
NoPayStation is software used to download PS games to install on consoles with custom firmware. (I’m not sure if it downloads from PSN or just pirated copies from somewhere.)
Ford = Found On Road Dead
Dodge (n.) - To avoid
And, Fix It Again, Tony.
I’d tell you what Pontiac stood for, if it was still the 1970s. It hasn’t been politically correct since then.
Mopar: Nopower
F*ckin’ Old Rebuilt Dodge
