• Ech
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    15910 months ago

    Turns out every game sounds bad if you purposefully describe it badly.

  • Tarquinn2049
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    10210 months ago

    This is every game for the people that skip dialog and cutscenes.

    Now do a recap of a TV show, except skip all the parts where they aren’t shooting a gun or stuff isn’t exploding. I don’t get that TV show, nothing had any context and there was no motivation or lessons to learn, stuff just randomly exploded from being shot at.

  • @fartsparkles@sh.itjust.works
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    4210 months ago

    Pretty sure Minecraft was the most profitable game of all time.

    And you can be that reductive for pretty much all games. Run right and jump on mushrooms. Watch shapes rotate and fall. Punch cubes. Three of the other most profitable games of all time.

    • Ech
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      2310 months ago

      Minecraft is the highest selling game (beating out GTA V by 110 million units sold source), but it’s not the most profitable. GTA does have it beat there ($9.9 billion vs $3.3 billion). Though CoD has them both beat at $31 billion (source).

      • @havokdj@lemmy.world
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        1910 months ago

        CoD as a FRANCHISE beats them both, but you have to keep in mind that metric for GTA V and Minecraft are indeed, for single video games.

        • Ech
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          1510 months ago

          That’s true (to be even more precise, the GTA metric is also for the franchise…which GTAV makes up $8.5 billion of >.>). How about Candy Crush at $20 billion?

  • Bob
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    3610 months ago

    “This game named after a crime involving cars involves too much driving and crime”

  • Transporter Room 3
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    10 months ago

    start game

    go from A to B

    press button/scan object

    go from B to C

    solve 3rd grade puzzle

    go from C to D

    scan object and defend while npc does things

    optionally sneak from D to E

    repeat until the game is over

    And the best part is, I’m sure nobody even knows what game I’m talking about, but they think they might have it narrowed to 3 or 4.

    Some of my favorite games on the planet are literally “wander around opening doors” and “go to a place to solve simple puzzles, press some buttons, and don’t die”

      • @MBM@lemmings.world
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        110 months ago

        I’ll be annoying and say it’s been ages since I last played a game like this, and it’s not because I don’t game

    • @funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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      310 months ago

      live in point A

      something calls someone away to point B

      in order to change it back they have to sacrifice something important

      return to point A

      they are changed as well

      and the best part nobody even knows which story I’m talking about

    • StametsOP
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      210 months ago

      Star Trek Online is what comes to mind immediately for me

    • @Cratermaker@discuss.tchncs.de
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      210 months ago

      I was gonna say it couldn’t be Hunt Showdown, but it actually fits pretty well, minus the friendly NPC. Start game, collect clues, fight the boss, wait for the banish and try to defend, then take the boss token to the extract, all while trying not to die from enemy players. Of course the enemy players make it exciting, and I guess that’s why I’m not that into single player games.

      How else can you create a good player experience while not alienating casual players though?

    • voxel
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      210 months ago

      watch dogs comes to mind first, just because of the 3rd grade puzzle part

  • @PaulieDied@lemmy.world
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    2210 months ago

    At least Vice City had fun missions like dropping bombs in trashcans with the world’s most fickle RC helicopters

      • @otp@sh.itjust.works
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        410 months ago

        Not sure if they fixed it in the PC port, but I enjoyed it when I played it last. I think I failed the mission only once, if at all?

        I imagine they reduced the number of enemies or their aggro range, or raised the timer by a ton

    • @OfficerBribe@lemm.ee
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      310 months ago

      That’s San Andreas. I loved all their missions and even though they also could be reduced to only, driving, flying and shooting they all felt distinct and memorable.

      Invading Madd Dogg’s mansion and stealing lyric book and delivering it back OG Loc who had a party in your hood was fun. Stealing jetpack for a hippy, burying alive someone in construction site while they are in portable toilet, doing heists with Catalina, all that was fun.

      I can’t seem to recall a single GTA 4 or 5 mission / moment truly memorable besides the line “Causin, let’s go bowling”. Maybe it’s all related to when I played SA and probably my memory was better then.

      • @PaulieDied@lemmy.world
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        210 months ago

        Your memory may indeed be a bit flaky, because that mission (demolition man) is quite definitely from Vice City :)

        I agree with the sentiment of your post though

        • @OfficerBribe@lemm.ee
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          310 months ago

          Thought you meant New Model Army mission which also feature RC heli, bombs and barrels :)

          I remember not knowing how to activate magnet and thinking that mission is impossible.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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    10 months ago

    You can go to a virtual titty bar and see virtual titties.

    Point A is not the titty bar and point B is the titty bar. That’s why it’s number 1. It’s also why you’re murdering everything in your way and trying to get to B as fast as possible. Because it’s a titty bar.

  • @lud@lemm.ee
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    1310 months ago

    I don’t understand why anyone would want to travel between point A and B and point B and A. Can’t they just make up their mind about where they want to be?

    I just want to live at point D and spend a pleasant amount of time at point E

  • 4grams
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    1310 months ago

    Hate to say it, but it’s because it’s fun. I haven’t played in ages but despite it not being my kind of game (I’m usually a fallout kind of guy), I really loved playing through it. I enjoyed it enough that when the next one comes out, I’ll likely finally buy a current gen console.

    • @Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org
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      410 months ago

      So instead you like going on a mission, getting distracted and killing a bunch of people/ghouls/irradiated creatures and managing inventory ( I do too).

      • 4grams
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        110 months ago

        Yep! Something’s obviously wrong with me :)

  • @Smokeydope@lemmy.world
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    310 months ago

    GTA has always been for teenagers, edgelords, and angstmeisters so they can feel hardcore while they vent out some of their aggression on game characters. You don’t play gta for the innovative gameplay, you play it to jack cars and enact violence on virtual douchebags. It actually shares a similar function to postal 2 now that I think about it.

    • @Blackmist@feddit.uk
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      810 months ago

      That may have been the case for GTA3, but everything since has been very heavily story based.

      I kind of played Trevor like that though. The odd bit of random cyclist murder just felt right for him.

  • Beefalo
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    210 months ago

    Sir the rest of us were ignoring the mission trying to see how many cops could chase us at once and also how many of them we could murder when we let them catch up. Then they went online with it and people started wearing the game like a suit.

    That may explain things.