Well I for one am perfectly convinced that patient TX45788288 is clean and free of drugs. Of course, I don’t really know who that is. Probably isn’t Musk though. Even if it is, I’m quite sure that he could easily find someone to piss in a cup for him for a million or so. Hell, I hate the dirt bag and I would have done it for a million bucks.
Also, I would never impute the integrity of Jennifer Taylor of Fastest Labs of South Austin, but I think maybe her boss should check to see if she suddenly jumped into a new tax bracket.
“Well, Mr. Musk, you’re not on drugs but you are pregnant.”
Not to mention that the drugs he’s accused of abusing don’t usually stay in your system for a long time.
Specifically urine. I’d love for hair and blood tests like those that get fucked by the “war on drugs” go through
Can you expound on this?
Sure. Ketamine, shrooms, and molly (or MDMA) were the primary substances the inside sources claimed he was abusing over the last year.
Shrooms never show up on a urine test, as far as I’m aware. Ketamine and MDMA only remain detectable in urine for a week or two, sometimes as long as a month for those with really high BMI, very low activity levels, or a slow metabolism. So, he’d simply have to stop taking drugs for a couple weeks and he’d likely piss clean. This test wouldn’t disprove any of the claims that he was rampantly abusing drugs during Trump’s campaign or while “working/consulting” at DOGE (he only left government “service” a few weeks ago).
Besides all of that, there are tons of ways to easily defeat a urine drug test. You can literally walk into just about any headshop (stores that sell devices to smoke marijuana, e.g. bowls, vapes, bongs, etc) and they will almost certainly sell fake penises that come preloaded with “fake urine” that can pass a drug test. You wear the fake penis contraption like a garter belt under your boxers/underwear and when you go in for the urine test, you simply aim the fake penis into the cup and use whichever method that product has for dispensing its contents.
And that is just one method for getting around urine tests. The bottom line: There is literally no reason anyone should accept this “evidence” as proof that Elon Musk is not abusing drugs.
Thank you, that’s very interesting!
Why pay a milion? Just make his kid piss in the cup, he already carries the poor thing with him everywhere.
You know how some people carry water bottles with them all the time? Same thing with musk and that kid. He just decants it when he needs fluids.
The fact that you can conceive if paying someone $1M to pee in a cup is how I can tell you’re not rich. If you were, it would have been a few thousand at most but more likely to be a threat of some sort to compel the other person to help you.
I have seen enough blue mountain state to know oilchange is a thing.
I would do it for 50K who are we kidding
In my defense I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it for less…
Fun story time: I once got informed of a drug test for a job I’d just accepted after a weekend of hard partying. I was on prescription opiods, Adderall, and ketamine. They called Monday morning at 9 to tell me I had to piss within 4 hours. I hadn’t even slept yet. I should have lit that test up like a Christmas tree for everything except thc. It came back clean. They never asked about my prescriptions. I have 2 theories. 1) they don’t actually test. 2) if too many things light up, they assume it’s a calibration issue.
“Indestructible!”
If they don’t send you to a lab for the test, it’s often just a scare tactic.
deleted by creator
The richest mothefucker chooses the shadiest black market lab available? Makes sense.
Maybe he just bought some results, and it’s not like his chosen substances are visible for long in piss tests anyway
The door thing in that first review is because they’re supposed to monitor that you don’t have a stash of someone else’s urine that you’re giving them to pass your drug test.
Perhaps fair, but if true and this site does supervised urines with any type of frequency, this is the absolute shittiest way to do it.
One-way glass mirror to a small room on the side makes for better observation, and that’s the way to go. Labs with multiple sites will often designate sites with bathrooms like this for any DoT or other supervised urine collection.
Source: Of all the things on my resume, “occasionally watching guys pee for money” is the funniest.
I’m so absolutely very much not surprised in the least
They test for “ecstacy”, the street name, not “MDMA” the official name? Where did he get these test results from, his dealer?
Opiates are tested, and oxycodone? But oxycodone is an opiate. Is this list created by chatgpt?
It says it was a urine sample. As if the richest man in the world cannot get a clean urine sample from someone. It’s probably from the only kid he gives attention (to block snipers when he’s out in the open). That’s probably why the kid punched him in the face. Because daddy wanted to touch his pipi.
So I’m familiar with this organization for reasons.
USDTL itself is the real deal. Not a drug testing expert, but it’s probable the assay used flags positive for Ecstasy in the presence of either MDMA and/or MDMA metabolites like MDA. Like the guy below you said, it’s also common to separate out oxy from opiates - an opiate screen from this lab detects codeine, hydrocodone, hydromorphone, and morphine. The oxy screen flags positive in the presence of oxycodone and oxymorphone.
None of this is to say it’s actually Elon’s urine, though - I’d usually give USDTL the benefit of the doubt re: chain of custody, but the guy has too much money and brainwashees to totally rule out this being an unsupervised collection where someone else’s pee was swapped in. Send me an uncut video of a hair collection, with the specimen id clearly marked and everything packaged up to forensic standards on camera, and I might have less doubt.
At least in that case, any fuckery after the fact is a great way to lose CAP accreditation.
As someone that doesn’t know anything about drugtests, how long are these things still testable?
Ketamine shows up in urine for a couple of weeks maybe. A blood test would show it 24h - three days.
Hair tests are most reliable to check for long term substance use. From hair it would be detectable for months.
This is said to be a urine test, but cheating those is pretty trivial as well. The way urine tests work is that they just check the values and if your value of a certain drug is under a certain threshold, even if some is detected, it’s counted as a negative. So if you drink tons of water, you can dilute your piss, making it less likely that the test will flag any metabolites in your pee. However, to counter this, labs also test your creatine value, which is an indicator if you’ve diluted your pee or not. However, to fool that particular check, all you need to do is take a creatine supplement, so you’ll have too high levels of creatine, but when you dilute your piss, they’ll be on the normal level. So the piss will be extremely diluted, while still having a “normal pee” creatine value, making the tester think it’s good, while it’s actually not.
So this genuinely proves jack shit. I mean, if it’s not faked in any way, then what it “proves” is that Elon isn’t a 247 weeder and has been without hard drugs for like, half a week. And that really isn’t a sign of not being addicted, desperately trying to prove you’re not the junkie people say you are by being sober for the better part of one week after the whole world has turned on you and everything you own is going to shit.
If you only consume occasionally pretty much all of those substances are only testable 1-3 days after consuming them, if you’re a regular user it’s usually between 5-7 days maximum.
As a regular user Ketamine could be tested up to 14 days in your urine. THC has the longest timeframe with up to 60 days when you use regularly.
Will share what I know, but for the record I’m a layman - any toxicologists in the house?
Depends on the compound, dosage, frequency of use, sample type, and test method. A screening immunoassay, for instance, will usually have a higher cut off than an LC-MS/MS (liquid chromatography tandem mass spectrometry) test. Good rule of thumb for your typical urine drug of abuse screen is 2 to 3 days, but again this varies (THC, for instance, can be detected for a loong time depending how big a stoner you are/how long you’ve used).
The stuff folks are mostly worried about re: Elon? About 2-3 days, assuming the typical urine DoA screen.
Now, you can also test other sample types (hair, nails, etc.), and in which case some compounds are detectable for much longer (90 days, etc.). But that window is also impacted by stuff like (in the case of hair, for example) how much hair is collected, where it’s collected (scalp v. body hair), how long after last use it’s collected, etc.
Even pissing from your own dick it’s super fucking easy to dilute through your own kidneys with the right mixture of electrolyte solution and creatine supplements. The only way a piss test is valid is if it’s a surprise and you watch the person piss.
Send me an uncut video of a hair collection, with the specimen id clearly marked and everything packaged up to forensic standards on camera, and I might have less doubt.
You know all his hair are implants right?
Even the ones on his balls?
(Sort of kidding, though fr I’d prefer a body hair collection anyway)
I just don’t care. If it comes out without a doubt he’s on drugs, people will use it as an excuse for his behavior. While in fact he’s a fucking nazi asshole with or without drugs.
True - I just want him caught in another lie for the hell of it tbh, no matter what his choices re: chemical recreation he’s a piece of shit.
weirdly enough I typically see oxycodone listed separately from opiates in urine drug screens my guess is there’s an easy enough test to tell the difference and oxycodone is a commonly enough prescribed pill so there are times when it is useful to see if you’re taking legit prescriptions vs you’re self medicating off the street vs you’re diverting your own scripts to the street
the rest i dunno
Fair
The MDMA bit was my first thought, a lot of things are sold as ecstacy and not that similar of a compound and probably less similar of an effect…mean from my rave days and all I had that experience.
Most of these drugs are pretty much undetectable after abstaining for a few days. Big deal. Negative cannabis use surprised me a little but he probably left it behind when he picked up his ketamine binge. That said who the hell advertises their test results like this wtf?
He has an army of neglected kids, do you really think he would stop using for a few days to use his own urine?
Assuming that he actually has been tested, or that this is his test results would be a mistake, regardless of whether he is on drugs or not. The man is as pathological a liar as Trump.
Like when Fox News got their hands on 40,000 hours of January 6 footage, and edited a 2 minute montage of people being not committing mayhem, and then used that carefully edited clip to claim the allegations of violence were liberal lies.
This is as legitimate as his Path of Exile account.
Can we overlook the potential fact that he’s not on drugs and focus on him admitting that he acts the way he acts WITHOUT drugs as an excuse?
So he’s like Beavis and Butt-Head. Even when they drink non-alcoholic beer they still act drunker than most drunks.
How did this dud ever get mistaken for a genius?
Cuz he was quieter. When I used to think he might be smart is when I never watched any of his interviews or read any of his tweets.
Better to keep your mouth shut and be called a fool than to open it and prove them right.
Never liked him to begin with, but back then I saw him as a visionary. Seems he has been having visions all along.
My assumption is that he paid a meme troll group to make propaganda about him.
I’ve literally seen “memes” claiming he was some kind of genius because of an attached video of some guy cutting a carton box to fit an object in during a packaging job.
Pretty sure mr “my dad owns stakes in an emerald mine” never did any manual labour in his life.
My theory: he used to put out press releases about how amazing he is.
One study published in the International Journal of Legal Medicine found that ketamine can be detected in hair up to 4 months after a single dose.11 Ketamine and its metabolites were also detected in scalp samples collected by a wet cotton swab up to 48 hours after administration of the drug. In a study of urine samples collected from hospitalized children who had received ketamine as an anesthetic, ketamine could be detected in the urine up to 11 days after drug administration and its metabolites could be detected for up to 14 days.12
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/ketamine-abuse/how-long-does-ketamine-stay-in-your-system
So he went 11 days free of ketamine?
What? Oh god no. He bought clean pee. Probably while on Special K.
This is the way my boss told me to do it to make sure I passed.
He must really think we are all as dumb as he is.
There’s a certain kind of ‘smart’ person that thinks everyone else is stupider than them.
Yeah… I find them to be somewhat rare in the wild, but I have met them a few times and I am always so severely secondhand-embarrassed for them that their cringe haunts me almost as much as my own cringe years later.
And I mean, I’m not talking about 20somethings acting cocky and like they know everything like some tend to do becuase that shit is just normal developmental stuff and I don’t mind that. We have all been there.
It’s when real adults act like attention starved, insecure dummies hiding behind fake confidence that I just crumble inside.
Once had a mid 30s guy talk about basic bitch life philosophy in a way like he was almost orgasming at his own brilliance and everybody around the table were so embarrassed for him. I don’t remember what he was talking about, but like… some very basic shit and he kept acting like we were all too stupid to have had these thoughts ourselves. Probably it was something he had only just realized himself. And look, I get it! It’s kinda awesome when some life-wisdom and philosophy-bah blah finally clicks for real in your head as you get older, but because of that guy I have since been scared of sharing any such revelations with anyone becuase I cannot bear the thought of ending up being the dumbest person in the room while I’m high on an epiphany that is nothing special to everybody else. Omg, I can’t even think it without squirming.
I still think about that moment with the guy sometimes at night when I am going to sleep and one would think it would be a relief to force-think about cringe shit someone other than one self has done, but no. No it is isn’t. It is just pain.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to be close to Elon as a family member or a friend. I would have fucking nightly panic attacks over the newest dumb shit he’s done and feel embarrassed that he’s my family member or friend. Like what does that say about me that I have a person like that in my life, right?
I have enough of my own lifelong cringe to carry. I can’t carry other people’s cringe too, man.
Oh man I would have loved to be in that conversation. Instead of cringing, you start walking them through some of the more advanced corollaries that proceed from that one realization. Keep going until you break them. At that point, you can start having actual interesting conversations with them.
I would have gladly left the floor to you xD personally I’m not gifted at debating. The only time I decided to push back when this guy went on his pseudo philosophical monologues was when he started talking about the Jewish question. It wasn’t very fruitful. I tried to make him understand where he was heading “intellectually” and he told me I was too small minded to think outside the box. We stopped talking eventually. He was one of the biggest tools I have met in my adult life.
The person I had in mind was this dude on a Lego forum I used to frequent. (Fuck me, that was nearly 20 years ago at this point). He was in his 40s or 50s, well paid as a Software Architect, and the most pompous, arrogant arsehole you could imagine, and he found it impossible to conceive that he could ever be wrong about anything. Me and a few mates took great delight in mocking him up our sleeves.
Not smart enough to know that there’s a ton of shit they don’t know yet.
If he has not enough computer skills to fake such a document, he probably has someone who can. Just like has people playing games for him.
Well I didn’t see him piss in the cup so I refuse to believe this. We must see him pee to ensure he didn’t use a bag of piss.
He apparently hires people to do other shit for him and lies about it, so I will consider this no different
Thanks to the ScreenyWeeny™️, we can’t even trust that anymore.
So we’re just supposed to believe that the richest man on earth can’t just make up a form, pay wm employee for clean urine, or just pay off the doctor
