You must log in or # to comment.
When you’re kind to people or simply are polite, they help you.
I swear everyone needs to work retail for a bit because that’s so painfully obvious once you’ve done a few weeks of it. I never went of my way to help someone who was being a dick
Or food service.
I missed a flight once due to delayed connections. I went to the help desk, and in front of me, a rich guy was arguing with the company employee. He was rude and frustrated and left angry, having failed to get the upgrade or whatever he’d wanted. I was next in the queue and offered an empathetic smile and rolling of eyes, then politely explained my situation.
The clerk was clearly still pissed at the previous interaction and didn’t crack a smile but simply listened, then slid me over a new ticket for the next flight and winked. I thanked him and scuttled off. I decided to find a place to charge my phone and only then inspected the ticket to confirm how long I had until boarding.
It turns out he’d upgraded me to business class and given me full access to the lounge area where I could charge my phone in comfort and have all the free booze and snacks I want.
That’s not really a hack so much as the basic behaviour on which all human success is predicated.
Or they take advantage of you
Possible but unlikely.
The net result is positive all the same.
So real. I ask the food truck guys “how you doing” rather seriously and they always give me a little more than everyone else. It’s such little effort to care, and try it seems make me stand out from others.
And even if they are paid to help you, it makes a big difference to if they put your task on the top or the bottom of their pile of stuff to do.
I used to do a lot of driving for work and it’s important to manage stress in traffic. Whenever someone would do something that aggravated me, I’d pretend that they did it for some silly reason and it helped me stay calm.
Someone cut you off? They must have have to shit so bad. Someone driving crazy fast? They’re trying to get to their wife before their girlfriend does.
I’ve done this, too. Driving super slow? They’ve got a 3-tier cake in the backseat.
Ha! This is a great idea
Believe it or not, having a Tesla (bought in 2018) completely fixed this for me. I don’t get NEARLY as mad when someone is driving faster or in the left lane slowly. My car keeps distance and speed really well. It’s not aggravating to keep stepping on the breaks anymore. Any adaptive cruise will do this just fine.
I honestly try to do this. People have emergencies. I’ve blown through red lights and driven like a maniac to drive a friend to the hospital when I found him passed out on the lawn with a collapsed lung.
Whenever someone is doing, or is about to do, something stupid, simply say out loud what they’re doing, and ask what they want to happen.
It’s a great hack, but it takes finesse to keep my mask on when I do it
This is also good when self-directed. Usually framed as mindfulness.
Get into the habit of just observing what you’re doing, and stating it to yourself (out loud or just in your mind). When you’re doing something you don’t want to do (eg, eating too much, procrastinating, losing your temper), looking at it from a disconnected perspective helps you evaluate the costs and reconsider.
Oh wow, I do this to my 4 year old when he’s about to make a mess.
“What is the end result you’re looking for?” That’s my version of this.
“What are you trying to accomplish?”
Or, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing!”
I’m not very good at this.
If you don’t want to go outside, put on sunscreen. Might as well go outside now so as not to waste it.
Hahahaha this is really funny. I really like it. (This reads sarcastically but it’s the truth)
-
When I have a thought I don’t want, i hum a little tune
-
When I feel bad about something happening right now I remind myself that no feeling is forever, everything is temporary, there’s always a tomorrow
-
When I feel bad about something that happened in the past I remind myself that happened to me, that I transcended it, and it doesn’t define me, but allowed me to make better choices in future
-
I swapped alcohol and soda for seltzer
I should really drink less often, the calories aren’t worth it…
Try drinking a lot more. Life will get so utterly insufferable that you’ll end up with the choice between death and sobriety.
I chose sobriety, the thought of touching alcohol gives me anxiety
Have tried drinking too much, I gained two stone and slept like shit? Being hot and not cranky are really important to me, I’m finding
Relating to #3. If something really traumatic happened to you that is still affecting you I heard it’s helpful to imagine it like you have this “trauma thing”. It’s not really part of you but something you carry and which kind of has its own will. Really like a small person living in your head. Makes it easier to realize you can decide to listen/react to it or not.
Wow All the same for me! Except #3 I remind myself that it wasn’t me, there’s barely any of the same atoms in my body from then. It’s an experience I hold but it’s not me now at all
These are all good, I practice them myself.
For number one, though, I usually shout at myself for a startle. Stops the thought in its tracks. Also, I’m not sure replacing an unwanted thought with a tune wedgie is a great trade-off.
-
Just tell yourself you’re not going to lift heavy/are going to lift light. When you don’t have the motivation (or whatever) to go to the gym, tell yourself this. Like, “I’m not going to work too hard. It’ll be easy.” Works a treat. Then even if you end up doing that (which is unlikely - I always end up getting in the mood hehe) then at least you did something and kept the momentum.
Edit to say: The hardest lift is getting off the couch.
That kind of thinking can work with anything, too. If I’m having trouble getting myself to do something, telling myself I’m just going to do a tiny part of it (put one dish in the dishwasher, etc.) often helps.
Noice! I’ll definitely try this as well
“never leave a room empty-handed” if you are leaving a room look around for something that doesn’t below to that room take it with you and just move it somewhere close where it’s supposed to be, eventually it’s going to find it’s place.
I actually started doing that 4 years ago. Not as consistently as i should, but it really helped me get out of my depression hole. I kept uttering the phrase: if you see something, do something. I found it pretty amusing, and it worked (and still does) bit for bit.
Works with teaching kids to clean litterboxes, too! If you smell something, do something.
And if you can’t see anything that should leave the room, you know you’re doing pretty well!
I do the same, its so nice not needing to worry as much with cleaning.
ABC - Always Be Carrying
I learned this while working at a restaurant.
I do method acting, like “in this next scene I am going to play an extrovert who enjoys making small talk at professional conferences with potential customers and employers”
That is actually pretty clever.
i have this excellent therapy comic book from the 70s that therapygary might know about called the facade (it’s buried in my bookshelf across the room and i am tired from dancing yesterday or else i’d grab the author and some photos) all about how people mask. basically, your conference facade is
an extrovert who enjoys making small talk at professional conferences with potential customers and employers
but at home with your loved ones you get to be your actual you, where you recharge.
i used to think of it as putting up my shields ala star trek when i go out
If someone is using rhetorical questions in a discussion, answer them earnestly. If you’re not a prick about it it’s a great way to defuse a heated debate sometimes.
Cleaning when I feel bad. Getting rid of physical things is a substitute for getting rid of mental things. Clean outside = clean(er) inside.
If you’re overthinking or worried about something you can’t control, other than something like planning for contingency, all that overthinking is pointless. Worse than pointless, since it adds stress and anxiety. There’s usually zero real benefit.
It takes practice, but being able to say to yourself "well, I’ll deal with that when it happens. No point in worrying about that now, " helps keep you out of the doom loop.
“Don’t borrow trouble” is one of my mottos.
Go to therapy and work on yourself deliberately for years and years. It works. I was super messed up and hateful and angry and I would never have believed that I could love myself, but I do.
I know “cheat code” implies quick or easy or both and this isn’t either one, but it’s life changing if you do it.
Be kind to your future self.
Helps me when I feel like procrastinating or overworking.
Nah, future me is an asshole, let him deal with the consequences.
Come to think of it, past me was an asshole too.
Does it help you in acceptance or in not doing it?
A bit of both.
If I’m taking on something when I already have a full schedule, I think this and decide if I should pursue the activity or not.
Otherwise, if I’m feeling lazy, I think of what my future self would have to put up with if I didn’t do that particular task.
I hope that made some sense.
If you notice something needs to be done and the task takes less than five minutes, just do it.
Yes, but it’s easy to get side tracked following this.
Hah, yeah. Still better than the alternative - doing nothing
How is “Don’t be lazy and procrastinate” a cheat code…?
About as dumb as “just buy a house” if you’re homeless.
I didn’t say it would work for everyone, but for whatever reason, it helps me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (and I’m also a huge procrastinator)
The cheat code is to pretend your body is a mech and when you’re to lazy to go do the thing you just think about piloting a mech to go do the task. It feels like you aren’t doing anything just think the instruction and the mech does it.
⚠️Warning⚠️ This only works if you think mechs are cool.
If you look a little angry all the time nobody guesses that you’re actually stoned as balls.
EVERYBODY KNOWS
no they don’t they think they’re pullin it off too
